Echoes
by JouChan13
Summary: Set ten days before the first anniversary of Enishi's Jinchuu . . . A KenKao fic with the emergence of Battousai. OCC warning for deviation from canon
1. Wounds that never heal

Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through the review button, alright. All right

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Summary: In the belief that all our lives are intertwined and that our deeds affect our fellow man . . . we take a closer look at Himura Kenshin and the marks left on his mind, by his enemies whose echo, as of late have refused to leave him. Set ten days before the first anniversary of Enishi's Jinchuu. Ken/Kao fic w/the emergence of Battousai

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I fear the echoes more when I'm asleep then when I'm awake. They haunt me more than the stench of death or putrid smell of blood, which lingers still, like plum blossoms on a snowy day.

They wish to stir him, I know and provoke the anger, from which he took his strength. To cease life and spill blood. I try to wash my hands now, but the smell never seems to completely wash. And I fear the day that I will forget, I know him, know how the smell affects him still. He dwells on it, dwells, on the past and the chaos.

I've tried to so hard to forget, "those moments" in which bloodlust ruled supreme. Except at night, when in the dark, the echoes of days long past, haunt me still. They croon and whisper; wishing to rouse that which I keep locked away. I know what they want; it's what he wants. For the echoes to drive me mad and set him free. He wishes to be free, like before when blood and iron, was all we were.

He is skill, grace and strength, barely restraint passion, veiled beneath an amber gaze. _I am _but a distilled version of that, who too long has had to struggle to keep him caged. But I am all that stands in the way and so I cling to the steel that robbed me once and fight.

His voice, my past and our echo, shall never again, resonate as one. I refuse to let it. The hitokiri and I . . . . . I am no longer Battousai. I know this but _the echoes_; it's hard to let go, when constantly reminded. If ever, he breaks free, I know that despite my pledge, my guilt and bloody stained hands, he will take what he wants. He will take what's _mine_ and in doing that, drive me to murder one more time.

The echoes, I know, are meant but to lull me, following me even in sleep, they bring with them the soft scent of jasmine that easily enough, steals beneath my guard, placating all fear and suspicion while they themselves, distort my dreams.

The Sounds of Yesterday

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CHAPTER ONE: Wounds, that never heal

Sound became but an echo when he hit the wall, though already too alarmed by the other's path. He ignored the pain and dizzying affect, the blow had caused him. Quickly rising from the shattered piles of wood and debris, he chased after the other man.

Speeding to catch up, he raced past everything and into a cloud of smoke that blocked the entrance of the main hall. And though too thick for him to see through, it was all that kept him from the other, and because he knew this, ran faster through the cloud. Slowing as it thinned, he was caught of guard by the scent that filled his lungs, and halted amidst the haze. Watching as a silhouette, formed into a white-haired man.

"Enishi, what have you done?"

White hair fell over, dark eyes. "Follow the scent and see, the answer you're looking for," and he pointed towards the hall. "Is right there."

His words' so viciously presented, barely registered, as Kenshin sprinted past him. His mind, a terrible array of emotions, of fear and guilt, was able to think but _one_ thought. _Kaoru-dono_

"Look well with those eyes, Battousai."

_Kaoru-dono_

A new wave of adrenaline, surged through him and he closed the distance within a few steps, only to come to a sudden halt. Before sorrow and pain, overwhelmed his senses, breaking the fragile barrier that had once kept him whole. His strength abandoned him, and he collapsed on his knees, unable to deny what he could clearly see. Tears formed in his eyes, feeling worse then if he'd been broken in half.

_What was the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu? _He thought. For all skill his skill and for all his strength, what was Himura Kenshin, if once again, he could not save, the one he loved. _Kaoru . . . . ._

KAORU!

His anguished scream, shattered the silence around him. Reality bearing little semblance to truth or dream, he was enveloped by too much pain, unable to bear anymore anguish or any further hurt, his mind retreated, falling prey to the darkness that consumed his heart.

"Kenshin."

It hurt but in the blackened void, the pain dulled and so when it requested more, he gladly gave it up, allowing his memory to drift, bit by bit.

"Kenshin!"

He blinked, unable to see or understand. Aware of nothing but the reseeding demons, drowning in the blackness that encompassed his broken heart.

"Please, you're scarring me."

The soft touch of female hands, startled him. So much he fell back against the hardwood floors, bewildered—to find her body gone.

"Ken-_shin._"

His head snapped forward, realizing too late, that it'd been a dream and that his inattentiveness, had caused her to worry.

"Kaoru-dono."

How did he explain, without revealing what he felt? Telling her, even a little, would explain enough, that she'd understand the reasons for his distance and he didn't want that. What he wanted, was time. To sort his feeling and thoughts, he needed time to adjust again. It's why he'd set a barrier between them, ever since their return from Enishi's island. And though it'd been some time, he was not yet ready to remove it. He couldn't, the blow he'd take when he believed her dead was too great. Even now, almost a whole year later, he was still trying to recover. And so how could he, it was too soon and he could not. "Gomen nasai," he apologized, bowing low before her form.

Kaoru shook her head, reaching gently towards his tears stained face. "Won't you tell me, Kenshin?"

He jerked away from her touch. Shaking his head furiously as he stood. "It's nothing."

"Kenshin."

He smiled at the warning in her voice and half turned, his rurouni mask covering all that had been revealed moments before. "Sessha is fine, Kaoru-dono." Turning slightly away. "It's still quite early though, what are you doing up?"

Kaoru realized he was purposely moving the conversation away from himself and though she detested the idea of letting him suffer, he did seem fine. Though she didn't for one second believe he was, she did hope that by leaving it alone now, perhaps later, he would tell her. Locking gazes with him once more, she hoped that at least would be the case.

Sighing, she turned back towards the open door, she'd come through. Looking distantly at the sky, she said. "Someone set Maeda's house on fire."

"Maeda?"

"Yeah, the guy who nearly knocked me over last week," she turned towards him. "Down by the market, remember?"

Kenshin nodded, he most definitely remembered the man. Kaoru's wrist had been sprained in the fall.

"Were you outside?"

He shook his head no, watching as she hesitated. "There's _dirt_ on the bottom of your hakama." And sure enough, as he looked down, surprised by the specks of mud that clung to the hem. He frowned, recalling the events of the previous day. "Must be from last night," he concluded. "After sessha, locked up."

She sighed in exasperation. "Honestly, Kenshin, you need to take better care of yourself." Falling asleep with his clothes on. "Come on," she pulled on his sleeve. Coaxing him back into the house. She knew it wasn't the first time he'd done it, but every time he did, she wished she'd known. He worked much too hard around the dojo. "Let see if we can get a few more winks of sleep before those freeloader get up and start demanding food, ne."

Nodding, smiling, he followed her inside, forgetting for a moment that she was much too close and that distance, for now at least, was still quite necessary. Essential even if he wished to keep his sanity.

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The warm autumn sun reflected off the water in the basin, illuminating his face and eyes with all the shadings of the rainbow until he stood, wringing out a gi. Carefully, this time, as he moved over to the cloth-line and hung it up.

Wiping his brow, he unconsciously raised his eyes to the sky. But on seeing nothing but paleness, turned his gaze back towards the yard, reminded of that day, when it all began . . . . .

The bridge . . . . . the fear . . . . . the declaration.

_Ten days from now,_ that's what he'd said, exactly one year ago to the today. _Ten. Days. From. Now,_ the thought haunted him still. And all because he couldn't let go. As much as he'd tried, he'd been unable to—

Once they'd returned from the island. He'd begun having nightmares; things that made him suffer and cry worse then when he'd only just dreamt of Tomoe. That pain, though still very much a part of him, didn't threaten to drown him in sorrow. It didn't make him feel as though his heart had burned to ash or that his hands had suddenly become as cold as blocks of ice.

The grief he'd suffered over loosing Kaoru, was still too fresh and so the most hurtful. It was as though, what he'd felt then had been locked away and only again suffered its torment, when he returned to the place she'd died.

Only, she wasn't dead and by all means, he should understand that since that was the case, there should have been no need for grief.

Though there in lay the problem. Because at the time, he'd simply stopped living, bottling up all that he'd felt. He couldn't even remember how he'd come to. All he could really remember was the joy of finding her. That joy had been so great, that for a time, blotted out everything else. Allowing him to breathe and live for that moment in time, as things had been.

But then they'd come home and at the sight of the dojo, so had his pain. Enishi's Jinchuu had been perfect. He'd succeeded in scarring him, as much as Battousai had done to a little boy, hiding out in the snow, more than ten years ago.

He'd ripped him open with his hatred and now, while the other lived in some delusional state, he was forced to endure the pain of loosing Kaoru. Every night without end, in someway or another, he watched as one of his enemies killed her from afar. Always too late, he never seemed able to react in time and always, she died because of him.

Always because of him, it was this thought that made him want to leave, only he knew that was impossible now. Too many people knew he lived here and that he'd made friends with some of those in town. So if ever he left, those few would be the first ceased by his enemies. And though this thought troubled him, what worried him _most_ was leaving her defenseless.

She would argue, of course, that she didn't need anyone to protect her but the truth was, she did. Her budo and pacifistic ideals of swords and honor, where to him, priceless. The virtuous words of one so precious, he dared not correct her. Though he knew she was wrong and that her skills, no matter how well practiced, would never be enough, to fend off an enemy—at least not one of his, which is what troubled him. And inevitably, what'd made him decide to stay . . . . . indefinitely.

"Kenshin!"

His musings crumbled like ash as he turned towards the sound of her voice, watching as she smiled and said. "Lunch is ready, come eat." And beckoned him inside, to where she stood, waiting just beneath the threshold on her porch.

He nodded and quickly followed; though tripping on the last step. She giggled and helped him up. Smiling broadly as she took his hand, "Honestly." She half sang. Blushing, beneath the weight of his gaze, "honestly," she repeated. Affection clear in her tone, she smiled at him once more before turning and leading him inside.

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In the evening, with the warmth of the dying sun filtering over the yard—Kenshin, for a moment thought, it all seemed swathed a shade of homely spun gold. As if it'd all been dipped and propped, placed within his path for him to watch—_never_ to touch. As he reminded, closing his eyes, as the warmth touched his face. He sighed, and pushed back all other emotions, thinking only of how warm it was as it touched his face, moved his bangs . . . .

His eyes opened and locked with those, a shade of blue, he would remember till the day he died.

"Are you all right?"

He nodded, and moved slightly back, so that her hand hovered over his face a second longer before it dropped back to her side. Worry, still scribed in her dark eyes.

"Sessha—nothing's wrong, Kaoru-dono."

But that was a lie, and both of them knew it. It angered her how easily he could do it too. Sitting there, less than a foot away, breathing in his scent—faces so close, all she had to do was lean forward, just a bit and then all she'd ever wanted, everything she'd ever imaged . . . . . but _no_, his eyes were clear, his face, still unreadable.

"But—" if there was something wrong, she wanted to say. You'd tell me, wouldn't you? "I worry." She instantly regretted saying that as haunted looked flashed across his eyes, darkening their hue. "Gomen," she apologized. Stepping back before she could hurt, him or her any further. "But if you need to talk," she braved, forcing a tiny smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'll always listen."

He nodded in understanding and let his gaze drift down to the floor as she moved away. He knew he shouldn't have done that. Of course it would only worry her more but right now, he just couldn't open up to her. No matter how inviting or right the moment might have just been.

"Why do you do that?"

Kenshin sighed. "Sano, it's none of your business."

"No?" He asked, taking a seat on the porch. "You mopping around and Jou-chan on the verge of tears isn't my business." For a long moment, they just sat there. Sano, casually ignoring the sharp look the rurouni sent him. It was true enough, after all.

"Things are complicated." Kenshin eventually said.

"Yeah," Sano said. Turning his gaze to meet those of his long-time friend. "Tell me then," and he gestured towards Kenshin. "Why do you do this?"

The rurouni frowned, bemused. "Sano?"

"I've always wondered." Sano, said, voicing inner wonderings. "Is this really who you are?"

"Sessha—"

"Seems innocent enough." Sano finished. "But, you weren't always like this. There's a reason men feared you—fear you still."

What was it, Sano wondered? Tomoe's death—Is that what'd set all of this in motion. "How did you become like this? The different speech patterns . . . "

"Sano," and there was a certain amount of warning behind his tone that told Sano, he better leave it alone. He himself didn't understand when or where the change had taken place. Either way, it's not something he wanted to think about. The only thing that mattered was that he was no longer Battousai.

"These different masks, the menacing tone. It's almost as if you were two different people. But you're not, are you?" The ex-gangster watched as the rurouni's face completely closed off, eyes becoming cold, "How do you—" He didn't get to finish. Kenshin, was suddenly too close, looming like some threatening shadow, as he invaded his personal space. Making it hard for his heart not to quicken, as the stirrings of fear and dread coiled around his gut.

"Sumimasen," Kenshin said, backing up so that there were several feet of space between them. "It's just;" the rurouni shook his head, frustrated. "Sessha is not the same as the hitokiri."

Only the silence that dropped between them seemed to say something different. Baiting him in a way, as it whispered._ Are you sure?_

_Are you really, really sure?_

And the truth of it was, _no_, he wasn't. He didn't like to think about it. So, he'd learned to ignore it. Reflecting on such things, only after some fight. When the anger was still fresh and coursing through his veins. It's not how it should have been, but that's how it'd become, overtime.

His need to blend and be normal, had made him adopt this face, this guise, which ultimately came to mask over the real person beneath. Which wasn't to say, the hitokiri was the person, beneath. As he figured, or had come accept anyways. Was that for a long as he lived, the real him, would be stuck somewhere in the middle. While the practical side of his mind, restrained, the impulsive part of his nature, clamping down on the angry-violent outbursts he could be capable of. Case in point, Saitou. True, the man rubbed him the wrong way. But it was more than that. His dislike for the Shinsen-gumi, the memory of them, _all of them_—made his anger become something almost tangible. And ultimately, dangerous to both him and others

_That anger,_ that _need_ to protect_—to destroy,_ it overwhelmed him still. Leaving him no choice, but than to hide it deeper. As he clung to the mask and shied away from anything that might make him feel too much. And so, he'd learned to survive, to live . . . . . until Enishi, had snatched it all away. And for that, he would hate him_, always._

If not for Kaoru, the confusion or even the turmoil of his own feelings, he might have killed Enishi. Given the chance, he still might and never feel regret . . .

"Kenshin?"

He realized; he'd been quite for too long. And with so many days without sleep, he suddenly shook his head. This wasn't like him, to be thinking such thoughts. "Sumimasen," he apologized, relaxing his stance. As the rurouni mask slid back into place_—_"Sumimasen."

Sano nodded. But didn't respond. Thinking, only that Kaoru had been right, there was something definitely wrong with him_—_though what that could be, was still just anybodies guess.

"Will you stay for dinner?"

"Sure," he drawled. "Now that Kaoru's cooking is edible, I don't mind keeping you company."

Glancing back, afraid, she might have heard him. Kenshin peeked inside. "You shouldn't say that, Sano. Kaoru-dono has much improved and it only matters that she tries, that it does."

Of course, Sano's smile stretched wider. "Sure Kenshin." Speaking in that patronizing tone, the rurouni had so come to dislike. "_Sure."_

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"What did he say?"

Sano rubbed his eyes, with the heel of his palm, tired and a bit irritated. He sighed and leaned back against the dojo wall. "It was more, how he acted Jou-chan. And your _'idea' _on how he and Battousai are the same, didn't go over too well, neither."

Kaoru frowned. "You must have not explained it right." She retorted. "Doesn't matter now, though. What happened? You were out there along time."

"I came over just like you asked, saw you guys on the porch and held off on coming in until I saw you leave." Sano paused. "Kenshin seemed a little . . . dazed; it was almost like it took him a moment to realize I was there. He doesn't seem to be as quick, sometimes, have you noticed?"

Kaoru nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose you have." He smiled as she gave a little huff. "Anyways," he sighed, frustrated again. "I asked why he was," and he made an all-encompassing gesture. "You know, the way he is. And at first he seemed confused but then, when he understood. He got mad and I mean real fast, one second I'm talking and the next thing I know he's looming over me. Hand on hilt and eyes blazing, for a second." He didn't want to admit he'd been afraid of Kenshin killing him on the spot. But . . . . . "something about him just doesn't seem right."

She nodded in understanding. Knowing that with Sano, because he felt comfortable in their friendship, he could become angry. Not so with her, mainly because he'd always made sure to keep her at arms-length. And so with _this _edging between them now, he'd distant himself even more.

"I don't understand Sano; he wasn't like this when we first got back." She didn't elaborate from where; he knew what she meant. _Enishi's island. _"It's only in the last few weeks, that he's begun acting this way. It worries me."

There, he thought, the core of this conversation. The reason, she'd sought him out. "What do you want me to do Jou-chan? He's not willing to talk just yet."

"I know," she whispered. Unable to hold back the tears, any longer, "I just don't know what to do."

Sympathizing, he agreed. There was nothing they could do, at least for the time being. He wrapped his arms around her, smoothing back her hair as she cried into his shoulder. And for a long time, that's all the sound there was. Her muffled cries against his chest, as he whispered words against the silken strands he continuously smoothed back, trying and failing to bring comfort to the rising despair squeezing at her chest.

_Why is it . . . . . with any other woman, I'd have kissed her and quieted her down. But why is it . . . . . not with Kaoru. _

The thought, however, fleeting made him wonder, why? Holding her this close, he found comfort and strength, such peace in the unyielding emotions that tensed her small little frame. He couldn't understand why Kenshin was so hesitant. If it was him, she looked at like that—but then, maybe that's what made all the difference. Kenshin was a man of honor. He'd proven so, time after time. Still, he had to wonder. If that was the case, why didn't he just marry her?

"Sano?"

ִ ִ ִ _Did he think he would taint her?_

"Sano?"

He pulled back, automatically dropping his hands to the side. "You, okay now?"

"Yeah," she nodded. Standing a bit unsteadily. "Sorry, about keeping you up and all."

"Better you, then that little freak's snoring." He countered.

"Either way," she said, smiling despite herself. "Thank you, Sano. It means a lot."

"I know Jou-chan. I know."

His voice, she thought, sounded funny, and she looked him over to see if perhaps, it was because he'd gotten mad. She had after all accosted him right after supper, just as he'd been about to turn in. But, no, looking at his weary face, she realized he was probably just tired, nothing more.

Turning, slightly closer to the door now, "Goodnight then," she said.

"Goodnight _already!_" Burying his face beneath a blanket. She heard him growl and grunt, shooting a few choice words her way, which only made her smile and shake her head before she quietly, slid the shoji close. Glad, that despite the loss of both parents, she'd still managed to find a bit of family within her close circle of friends.

Her adoptive siblings.

Kenshin had smiled when she'd mention, the silly thought. As if he were glad to hear it. But why that'd be so, she'd still yet to figure. He was after all, and she was sure of this, aware that she had no such brotherly feelings for him. Kami only knew, other than saying it directly to his face or writing it on her door, she'd just about shown him in every other way, short of crawling in his bed. And that last, part, was only because Megumi had suggested.

Awful, woman.

She _really _made her wonder, though. Sometimes, when she felt Kenshin slipping away, if such tactics, could actually hold a man. Would such promise, really make a difference?

She'd never thought so, if ever she'd felt the need for Kenshin, to hold his hand or wonder what it would be like, if he would just hold her, it was because of the love she harbored for the dense man. And not because, of any other reasons. Much to Megumi's surprise. She just wanted to know; what it would be like to be loved by Kenshin.

Honestly, she thought, if she could just work up the nerve to say it. Surely, he'd come around then, wouldn't he?

"Kaoru-dono?"

She turned startled eyes, in his direction.

"Are you all right?"

It was very disconcerting, she realized, to grasp why he would think she wasn't. Standing there like an idiot in front of her door. Kami only knew, for how long.

"Kaoru-dono—" he stopped short of touching her. Eyes, narrowing, Kaoru thought, it almost looked like he was smelling the air around them, around her.

"Kenshin?"

He made no further move towards her. Stilling her in place, by whatever feelings he seemed averse to confess, as he regarded her. Mutely watching her discomfort, increase, as the intensity of his gaze settled on her face. Tracing, over recent dried trails that flowed, seamlessly beneath the dark of her lashes, over her cheeks and down the slope of her throat.

"You've been crying?"

The observation, caught so easily in the dim of night and in the darkest of hallways, was not what surprised her. Rather, it was his tone. The way his question seemed to accuse her for not finding him to take comfort in, that really threw her off. The implications of such a statement—if he meant, what she thought he meant . . . than, that would mean, could only mean, he felt something for her too. Right?

Hope warred over her features. Hinting to something deeper, his instincts quickly picked up on. What it was—he closed himself off to the idea. Ignoring what it might be as she confirmed, in her innocence, as to what it was not. Most importantly, she had not gone behind his back. Sano had not touched her.

The relief that brought, he knew was way more than it should be. But the revelation, though just acknowledged, confirmed what he'd already suspected. The depths of his feelings—he already loved her more than Tomoe. And if that, wasn't enough to make him feeling guilty, then the fact that he couldn't help it, did.

_Kaoru-dono,_ he thought, frustrated by the inner battle that bastard had caused. Worse now, than it'd ever been before. He closed his eyes, fighting against the tide, his emotions seemed to give away for; guilt, peace, warring against the hate, _his love_ seemed so set upon breaking. And still, he didn't want it. He wasn't strong enough to endure anything but guilt.

But damn, if that didn't make him a liar. Opening his eyes. "You really ought to go to bed," he said. Sliding the shoji for her to step in through. "And tomorrow," gently as he could, grasp her arm. "You may tell sessha, anything you want." He held, before giving her a rurouni smile.

Kaoru, while still confused, nodded when he smiled. "All right," she nodded. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Kaoru-dono," genuinely this time, because it mattered, he made her heart flutter, when he smiled and closed the door.

The sudden shifts in his persona were briefly forgotten. As she almost beamed back. Thrilled, his face had been the last face she'd seen tonight. She began to get ready for bed, wondering, and not for the first time, what it was about him that called to her so much.

Of course, he was beautiful. She'd have to be blind not to see that, but aside from that. She wondered, if back then, her statement about his budo been what'd interested her, been all that true. So much had happened since, she thought. Laying on her futon, covers tightly clutched beneath her chin. And still, as far as she could tell, she had always felt the same.

So maybe, her mind supplied, beyond an infinite amount of ifs' and wonders. Was it not possible, that it was love at first sight?

The thought struck her dumb, and she stared at the ceiling for several long minutes before, slowly the disbelieving look melted from her eyes and a smile blossomed on her lips. _Maybe_, she thought. Turning on her side, maybe it worked both ways.

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From the shadows, with little to no struggle, a dark figure overpowered a man, sending him deep into the middle of the lake. Where he struggled, gasping and breathing so hard, water drowned out his cries, shearing his strength like razor sharp knifes. As the figure watched. Eyes, readily intent, on the slowly disappearing form. He watched. Distractedly, as the white haired man disappeared beneath the slowly stilling waters. Watching, until nothing more remained—nothing to show of the struggle and nothing to implicate him in or any of the others' deaths. 

Slowly, smiling, he turned back around, securing a hand to the hilt of his blade as he stole across the woods, stealthier than any shadow, as he cut across the road and back, to the Kamiya Dojo.

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So, here I am once again with a whole new theme and a whole lot of new ideas. Though structure, I'm afraid does not look the same here as it does on the site, mainly because ' FF ' has made this place so"user-friendly"I can't fix anything. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the beginning.

_Small Notes,_ will not be posted for this chapter and that, as strange as it might seem to my followers, is because I want _you _to make certain conclusions and assumptions before I go into the dissecting and analysis of the next. If you feel a little lost, please, just wait to read the next chapter. I promise it will make more sense then. Still, if there's something, you just _have_ to know, email as always, and I'll get back to you soon.

Thanks, for reading. And please, don't forget to review.


	2. From a distance

Usual disclaimer--Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through the review button, alright. All right. Oh, one last thing, this chapter is rated PG+13, mainly for violence and mild language. But nothing else, sorry.

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CHAPTER TWO: From a distance . . . . 

The first came out of nowhere. And though he'd been slightly distracted, he'd still managed to catch him before the effort to scream ever entered his body. Slashing upwards in a perfect arch of silver, as he cut across the man's the chest. Catching enough of his throat that the man fell, gurgling and bleeding all over the leaf covered road.

Watching him a moment as he lay there, bleeding—something prickled along his senses and he turned, aware of the Shinsen-gumi approaching before they even called out a warning. He waited, knowing that running at any point was useless they'd follow him where ever he decided to go. And so, he turned, fully around this time as the first man approached.

His draw was automatic—the katana, leaving its sheath without thought, precise as he blocked and struck. Impaling the man on his blade before he pushed him off and turned, slightly left this time as he swung—severing a man's head from the rest of his body as he moved further up the temples stairs, aware, even with his back turned to the others as one of them broke rank, trying, despite earlier attempts to sneak up on him. Until he turned and struck with such ungodly strength, he heard the sound of muscle and bone, crunch beneath the weight of the blow. The man, in pieces, fell to the floor with several thudding sounds. Unheard as metal crossed metal, cutting muscle and clothes, severing torsos and arms, with a series of nine consecutive strikes . . . he came back down, like a shadow from the bowels of hell. He leapt off the last few steps. Using that momentum, to strike down, right on through his opponent's blade and into skin and muscle, as his blade slid right on through the man's flesh, down to the very bone before he pulled the blade back—before he turned. And caught the last Shinsen-gumi by the sleeve as he ran up the stairs—he pulled him back, thrusting the blade deep into his stomach before he twisted him around tightening his grip around the others throat, as the sharp edge of his sword cut deep into the man's skull.

"Himura!"

He looked up. Pale-violet eyes narrowing on Iizuka as the source of interruption before his gaze fell to the man's hand, the glint of steel, and his grip on a woman's neck.

"I'm going to kill this one too!"

And before Kenshin could reach them—could think of why he wanted to stop him, he saw the body of the woman fall, her beautiful blue eyes falling shut as he reached them, the sound of laughter and metal, pinning Iizuka to the ground for the woman his heart seemed to know.

_"Kaoru."_

He tripped and fell, coming awake as water surrounded him on all sides, over head and coming into his lungs. Kenshin struggled, surfacing with some difficulty as his clothes tangled around him, putting a strain on his muscles as he fought to stay afloat. So that for a moment, as he splashed around, surveying his surroundings. The muscles in his arms began to burn, protesting as Kenshin spotted land, and began to slowly head towards it, swimming, a short distance before he pulled himself on out.

His clothes thoroughly soaked, dripped thick little streams of water as he set foot back on dry land. More than a little confused as to how he'd ended up there. He had no idea what'd happened. All he remembered was falling asleep against the dojo wall and _the dream _of course, which was nothing new. He'd been having nightmares all year; this one though he had to admit had been a little different. For one, he'd move with the hitokiri's speed, though it still hadn't been enough, he'd at least had the satisfaction of driving his sword deep into Iizuka's chest—that is until he'd realized it was Kaoru and not—

Kenshin heaved a deep sigh and was thankful at least that there'd been no screaming involved as he awoke this time. Not that anyone could blame him if they knew what he dreamt. Still . . . he shook his head, putting away those thoughts for later. He finished wringing out his hair before grudgingly setting of through the woods and back to the dojo. It was still quite early and he knew she wouldn't be awake yet but if she were to see him this way . . . well, he knew she'd have fit. More than that, she'd probably never again let him out of her sight. Which should probably bother him, he thought, walking briskly out of the woods. But it didn't. Some small part of him liked that she worried; it reassured him that she cared, and in a way, proved that she loved him.

Not that it mattered, of course, no matter how tempting she made it; he couldn't allow her to love him. Just look at where it got Tomoe, he thought, bitterly reminded once again of the love he'd lost. "Because of me—" she was dead now.

But not Kaoru, he reminded, swearing on all he'd ever loved that to keep her safe, whatever that might mean, he would never hesitate again. For her safety and his own peace of mind, he would not let the same fate befall her . . . ever.

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"Kenshin."

He turned at the sound of her voice, concerned at the worry etched on her face. He turned completely around, facing her fully. "Yes," he prompted, becoming increasingly uneasy as she just stood there, deep blue eyes, fixed firmly on the paper she held.

"Someone left this out front."

But as he approached to take it, she seemed to blush and hide it behind her back. "Umm," she detained, slowly backing up. "It isn't what I thought it was," she said, waving him off. She seemed to blush an even darker shade of red as his eyes slightly narrowed and stepped even closer as he looked into her eyes. Trying, she knew, to discern whether she lied or not. It didn't occur to either how close he'd truly come until his chest brushed against her own and she gasped, in a surprised kind of way, that jolted him right out of his thoughts. Watching her eyes dilate, however snapped him out of it, and he quickly backed up, banishing everything out of his head. His hands fisted at his sides, angry at himself for being so weak and at her for provoking his so easily.

He suddenly turned away, continuing his chores as though uninterrupted—as though she weren't there, watching him intently as he worked, so that for several minutes, as a deep resentful silence stretched between them—neither really moved.

Kaoru, so clearly confused, hesitated; thinking now, that perhaps her embarrassment was of no consequence if her hiding something he thought important made him this mad. Sighing, she stepped forward and quietly put down the paper by his side before she returned back into the dojo. Hoping, for whatever it was worth, that he'd simply just read the article and laugh.

_Battousai's woman,_ honestly, what were those people thinking . . .

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He thought they were thinking an early grave sounded just about right, fucking idiots. Sano couldn't believe they'd printed such an article. Idiots! If Kenshin weren't Kenshin—the least they could expect was a cold blade between the ribs come sundown; _Battousai's woman_. He could just image the smirk on Saitou's face, "Fucker."

How had the government allowed for such a thing to come to light anyways? Couldn't they see what would happen—what could become of him if they made him angry enough? Che! And with Kenshin now acting less and less himself . . . yeah, he could imagine. "Dumb Bastards," he spat the fish bone out of his mouth and headed out for the dojo. Thinking that maybe, if there were more people around the rurouni would be less inclined to act on those instincts, he'd seen resurfacing as of late. "Fuck!"

It only took Sano, five minutes to reach the market place, and from the looks he was receiving he imaged they'd already read the paper. What this would mean for Kenshin though—his guess was trouble. It seemed, when it was convenient, the lot of them would forget that it was thanks to Kenshin that they now lived in peace.

"What!" he roared, "are you looking at?" He glared fiercely at a man, who'd looked at him too long. "There something you wanna ask me?"

But the man turned, leaving Sano even more frustrated. "Guess you people forgot it's because of Battousai, that all of your husbands and brothers are walking around now ain't it."

Ungrateful bastards, he wanted to stand there and punch in a few faces. But it was more important that he get to the dojo now. For all the harm he could do, he knew it would be ten times worse if Battousai stirred. It'd been more than a year and half since they'd last caught a glimpse of the demon, Kenshin kept within. But even so, they all knew that in fit of anger, and if provoked with just the right bait, he would awaken. Especially if he felt, Kaoru was being put in harms way. And fuck it all, if that isn't what they'd just done. They hadn't named her by name. Oh no, but they'd been sure to say she had her own dojo and that she was the _only_ female kendo instructor in all of Tokyo. He knew, they might have as well just written down the address for all the problems this would cause.

"Sano?"

The underlining edge to his voice, made Sano's posture droop. It had been too much to hope for of course, that no one would have pointed out the article or that he, himself would have avoided picking up the paper. But of course . . . Sano turned, half expecting amber eyes and a menacing air to surround him. But as he turned and faced the rurouni, he could only see worry etched on his features. Which in turn, worried him more; Kenshin was only really afraid of two things, loosing Kaoru and returning to what'd he'd been.

So which was it—"Kenshin?"

"This."

The ex-gangsters' anxiety increased as he watched the rurouni produce an article from his sleeve.

"Kaoru-dono, gave sessha this article."

He was reluctant to take it, even as the smaller man placed it in his hand. He didn't want to read. It's not like hadn't already read it but—just something about the rurouni been right there had suddenly made him very nervous. "Kenshin—" he didn't want to admit he'd already seen it but— "I read it, already." Kenshin's eyes narrowed. It was only a fraction and hardly noticeable, but Sano noticed and it put his guard on high alert.

"Do you think then," Kenshin asked, calmly, forcing his voice down to the rurouni register. "That they're doing this simply to draw me out?"

Of course! But he refrained from saying it. Instead he scratched his head and looked around, almost absentmindedly as he stalled for what to say.

"Sano?"

"Yes," he answered, quite unable to meet the rurouni's intense gaze. They landed on the crumpled little piece of paper he had given him. Only as his eyes focused and he read over what the rurouni had placed in his hand, did he realize two things. One, they weren't talking about the same thing and two, he didn't know. Kenshin's attention had been diverted to a murder, whose article covered three quarters of the paper. And so, he must have never turned the paper over.

"This murder," Sano asked, stuffing the article into his pocket. "How is it supposed to flush you out?"

"The way that man was killed Sano, could only have been done by someone of a 'particular' skill."

Sano, confused, shook his head. "I still don't see what this has to do with you?"

"Sano," he began ever so patiently. "Maeda is someone who hurt Kaoru-dono. Everyone in the market place saw . . . sessha try and draw—"

"But he died in a house fire."

"No Sano, he was dead before then. His body was found in pieces. The blade went right through the bone. The fire was only a cover."

"So," Sano asked, not liking where he was leading. "You're saying, people will think you did it?"

"Not yet, no."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Sano could unabashedly admit he didn't know what the fuck was going on now.

Kenshin sighed. "Kumamoto is missing?"

"So what, the man's old and senile."

But the rurouni only shook his head, a bit disappointed. "You can't see it, can you Sano? The way this ties into me?"

"No," he retorted. "I can't"

"He was stealing from Kaoru-dono."

"Oh," he remembered now. The old man had kept on giving Kaoru the bad tofu and overcharging her until Kenshin had gone down there and politely, asked that he either give her another bucket of tofu or return her money. Neither of which had appealed to the old geezer. And though he'd given Kaoru another bucket full of fresh tofu, he'd made sure to put it down hard so that it'd splashed and ruined her kimono. "He made her cry, didn't he?"

Kenshin nodded. "It was a new kimono."

The five word statement was enough for Sano to realize that Kenshin would never forget anything anyone ever did to Kaoru and if he'd been the hitokiri still— "Che!"

Kenshin nodded again. But before he could elaborate any further, he turned—tilting his head at an angle, as he listened to the whisperings of the wind. Or that's what Sano, thought it was until they grew louder.

"Busu!"

Sano and Kenshin exchanged looks as they stepped away from the shadows of the trees and further out into the road, right into Yahiko's path it seemed as he nearly knocked Sano over.

"Watch it you little runt!"

But he was already on his feet and running; laughing from a distance at Kaoru and Sano as he dashed on further ahead.

"One of these days I'm going to kill that little punk."

Stupid brat, he turned back around, half expecting Kaoru to contradict him or to deny him first dibs but . . . the words never came. He realized, because no one was really listening, at least not to him. Kenshin had moved close to Kaoru and was looking her over for scratches and bruises, as they talked quietly amongst themselves.

Just as well, he thought, I wouldn't know what to do if Battousai decided to emerge. Better that he stay near Kaoru, her presence alone appeased him, even if he never dared admit it. She kept him whole.

Something akin to envy rose within him but as always, he pushed it back. Shaking his head in silent denial, of what he dared not admit. He stuffed his hands back into his pockets, before silently, leaving them to be.

And though Kenshin heard him, felt the shift and sadness in ki, he paid it all very little heed. He was, as always, just the slightest bit more concerned about _her _than anyone else.

"Kaoru-dono?" He was sure that somewhere along the way while chasing after Yahiko no doubt, she'd taken quite the tumble—a bad one from the looks of it.

"I'm fine." She blushed, patting the quite visible dust out of her kimono. "It was just a small tumble," she admitted, quietly looking down. "I'll be fine." Still, quite unable to meet his gaze though she glanced at him beneath her lashes. "Will you come down to the market with me?"

He nodded. Ignoring how his heart leapt at the look she spied him. He remained quiet and typically distant, as they walked down the road and into the crowded market. Never thinking twice of the glances thrown his way, people, had after all always cast him a second glance when they realized he still carried a sword.

All that ceased, however as Kaoru stiffened and broke away—and the last of a woman's thought, ". . . she must be good to him in bed," fell over the murmur of a circling crowd.

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Kenshin did not known what happened then. One moment, she'd been at his side and the next, he'd had to physically restrain her from attacking the woman she'd already knocked down. Absolutely furious—he felt the trembling in her limbs and the sudden flaring of her ki as a murderous protectiveness seemed to well inside her.

It made him afraid to let her go. And all he could do, all he could think of as he pulled her closer against him, is that he had to get them out of there before she managed to get away—but as her feelings intensified, filled his senses with them, something stirred. He felt it, as fury and hate, blanked around his senses, and he let her go.

There was screaming and shouting before his mind registered the smell of blood and he snapped out of his confusion, grabbing her from around the waist and carrying her away. He didn't think. Didn't know what to think—what had happened. All he knew, or at least could discern is that, she must have slipped away while Battousai had managed to resurface. Before he'd managed to shove him back into that dark place, that prison, his mind had created.

Kaoru eventually, stopped thrashing. Aware of the increasingly tightening grip around her waist, she, in the end decided to simply let him carry her home. Either way, they were almost there and what strength she possessed, she would need to run off into her room before he managed to somehow corner her and ask what'd happened.

Stupid woman.

Kaoru smiled grimly, at least satisfied that she'd managed to split her lip before Kenshin had lifted her off. That, she thought, would teach the other for making such remarks. Especially so close to the ever dense rurouni, whom she was sure, had not heard what the woman said.

Honestly, she knew the article would stir a bit of trouble but she never imagined it be her whom reacted first. _Though better her than the rurouni _her conscious whispered and she whole heartedly agreed.

Watching the gates come into view, she wondered what he thought had set her off. She didn't want to lie to him but more than anything . . . She didn't want to admit why she'd gone off the way she did. Other than she'd been thoroughly insulted. She had been appalled by the idea that someone—anyone, could ever stay with another individual simply because they could satisfy them like that.

Her rurouni wasn't like that. And to suggest such a thing, in her eyes at least, was just asking for it. Stupid woman, she had better never come across her while alone or she would really be sorry then.

The sight of flowers and trees caught her focus, diverting her attention to the fact that they were now within dojo walls. That knowledge set her on the brink of running, and as he set her down on the foot of the porch, the gates easily visible from her standing point, she had half a mind to attempt it. She almost did.

But it really wasn't in her nature to run, she knew, as she sighed, and met his gaze. She was briefly surprised by the dark pools she encountered. Darker than the warm-violet she had become accustomed to, she thought . . . . He looked mad. But as she opened her mouth to ask him if he truly were, the look vanished, leaving nothing but concern etched on his handsome face.

"Gomen nasai," he began voice soft and low. "Sessha should not have . . . interfered but . . ." He had been worried and confused and he'd reacted before thinking. Dragging her away like she was his . . . "gomen—"

"It's all right," she interrupted, reaching for an arm that didn't pull away. "I'm not mad." Her hand, so small on his sleeve, ventured down the edge, to where the hem met his wrist, "I—" but before she could say it, say, that she loved him with all her heart. He pulled away—as oblivious as always. "Sessha will go and start lunch then." He said, giving her a small smile before he turned and went inside, leaving her with words unsaid and the feel of his skin, still warm on her hand.

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He didn't ask her what'd happened. He didn't even ask her why she hadn't been mad. At the time, he'd simply figured he needed to leave. He needed space and breath that wasn't all filled with the scent of jasmine.

But now, alone in the kitchen, cutting things into slices thinner than the finest rice paper, he wondered what had set her off. What had Shimizus' woman said—what could she say, to have provoked her like it did.

_". . . she must be good to him in bed."_

What did she . . . whom did she mean? Not Kaoru-dono . . . certainly, his hand paused, the blades' end glinting razor sharp in the dim light. He knew there had been rumors, in the beginning; of course there had been rumors. But they had gotten to know him and even those that liked to listen to gossip, had in the end, relented to the truth. He was a man of honor. He was honest and by most people's standards, _a poor lamb_, as he'd once been called. Coincidentally by the same group of women who'd been huddled together today.

So what, he wondered, could have happened to make them turn on them like that. He'd never—he'd never so much as looked at her inappropriately. The restraints on his emotions were so strong they flowed into every aspect of his life. The way he smiled, spoke, and laughed, the way he looked at things and touched them. There was never any double meaning in what he meant. He did everything, if unconsciously, to warrant peoples trust. So what, he wondered had made them think different. What was it about now—why did they think he'd touched her. More than that, how did her been _good to him_ . . .

She had understood, he realized. To some degree she had understood, and reacted every bit on her behalf as much as his. That's why he'd felt her ki flare. That murderous wave of protectiveness—it'd robbed her mind of common sense as much as his. And with fear always fueling him, the way it did, he'd reacted without thought, taking her away from the danger—the fear—he'd sensed coming from all those people.

Only now, he had to wonder, if that fear hadn't all been his own. Since for days now or weeks or maybe even months—he'd had this small growing suspicion that there was something _not quite right_. But lurking, like a fiend in the dark, hiding within the shadows, where he couldn't quite seem to find the source, as much and as carefully as he'd scanned his surroundings. There was nothing there. And so he'd looked inward, briefly thinking if there was something wrong he'd know, because he always knew. Despite, the life he now led, he knew how the world worked. Knew what murderers thought and at what angle, to drive a blade through a man's skull—he knew too much. Too much of things, he'd rather forget and too little, of what he wished, he didn't have to push away.

_If only—_but it did him no good to want, to wish, to desire with all his heart because when it came right down to it, he couldn't touch. He couldn't allow himself to _feel_ those types of feelings. Even when it seemed she returned them. Like today, when her small hand had reached for him—the way her fingers had curled around his wrist, had tried to pull him towards her, and her lips had parted. Though whether to speak or be kissed, he hadn't dared stay and find out. He'd fled like some sort of coward. And he'd never been a coward. But like Saitou had said, ten years had been enough to ruin him, to weaken him. So much now, he ran away from temptation—from love. Afraid of what might happen, if the past tried to repeat itself.

Kenshin sighed, saddened and frustrated, as he continued his task. Chopping the last few strips of vegetables as small and thin as the previous, hazardously unaware of the mush he'd created. He took it all to the pot and dropped it in; watching it a moment, as it disappeared beneath the watery surface before he turned and left the kitchen—fighting against, the thought that no matter what he told himself, he needed her. He wanted her. And no amount of self persuasion could ever make that go away.

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They whispered, between the two of them, quietly and with their heads bowed close so he wouldn't hear. So he wouldn't find out, what they discussed behind his back. Aware of how he might react, if he knew. They sat huddled together, throwing glances at the door. He had left them alone, but they weren't sure for how long. And so for the moment they were free to discuss, what'd happened.

"I just couldn't stand it."

"I know but you have to be careful, you know how he is. How easy it is for him to pick up on things like this."

"I know . . . but . . ."

"Fighting will only make him wonder."

"It never has before."

"But it will now."

"You worry too much."

"And you don't worry enough."

"There's really no need, he's vowed—"

"Never mind that, don't you see where this is heading . . . what this could make him do?

"He wouldn't break that promise."

_"He would for me."_

"Jou-chan," Sano found himself at a loss for what to say. It was true but at the moment he was trying to reassure her, not add to her worry. "I'm sure . . . He has more common sense than the both of us and he wouldn't let himself get baited the way we do. I'm sure if you can keep him out of the market place—"

"You think after today, he'll let me go alone!"

"Shh," he frowned, throwing a cautious glance towards the door. "Well then just go with him, stay near enough that you hear whatever he hears. And I say if you have to pop'em one like you did Mayako today then do it."

"But Kenshin—"

"—will understand one day." Sano interrupted, clasping an arm around her shoulders. "Now be a good girl and wipe those tears."

"Fine," she said, a bit irritated that he could be so calm after having almost six fights that day. "But if he stops liking me," her voice dropped menacingly, even as she used the sleeve of her kimono to wipe away the last remaining traces of her tears. "I'm going to make you sorry."

He laughed; outright amused that someone so small could be so bold. "I gotcha Jou-chan, don't worry."

At her perplexed expression, he merely shrugged. "I'll find you a husband, don't worry."

"Sano!"

His arm slipped off her shoulder immediately. As they both turned their heads as one towards the door. To where Yahiko stood, smiling like a madman. "You're gonna help her. Isn't that like the blind leading the blind?"

"And what's that supposed to mean, you little runt."

"It means chicken head, that the only person who would marry ugly—" He didn't get to finish. Sano had slapped a hand over his mouth in time to make him stop but the jest of his thought had gotten across. And it hurt; he could tell from the way, silent tears bloomed and spilled over her lashes, marring the paleness of her cheeks.

"Kaoru," he hadn't meant to make her cry. He was just teasing, "I—I didn't meant it." He looked to Sano for help but he only shook his head. "I'm sure there's someone—Kenshin." He called, relieved to see the rurouni standing in the door way, his arms full of food. "You'd marry Kaoru wouldn't you?"

Time stood still. For a moment as the question hung there, and as Kenshin looked both confronted and confused, his eyes intent on her rigid back. "Kaoru–dono," he questioned. "Have . . . have you found someone you wish to marry?"

A million thoughts ran ahead, flashed across her mind and pointed out how he should have answered, pointed out he cared and that he must have cared because his voice had slightly wavered and what did it all mean if he didn't love her—if he didn't and wouldn't ever want her. "I thought I had." She said simply, rising from her seat. Keeping her back to him as she left the room, and as more tears streamed down her face.

Kenshin looked at them, an unreadable mask covering his expression, neither cold nor menacing, but unusual with the amount of indifference forced upon it. His eyes, no one saw as he turned and left, taking the food with him as he headed back out, a direction opposite the one Kaoru had gone. Lost to his own thoughts as he left them, starring after him and wondering, just what, exactly was going on.

Though Sano had a better clue, there wasn't anything he could do to fix it. _But if he stops liking me . . . _Sano closed his eyes, feeling, deeply for the woman crying her eyes out. _I want him to love me . . . _And if only, he thought, it was that easy to make him see Jou-chan. I would make him. _But I want him to love me . . . _I know he thought, I know. Hesitating a moment, as he stood there thinking, deciding on whom—he went after her, convinced that he could be strong enough, that he wouldn't turn as her face filled with disappointment that it was him and not Kenshin coming after her.

His hands fisted tightly at his sides, he knew it wasn't right. It wasn't his business to interfere, to sooth or comfort her the way she needed because . . . It wasn't him she was in love with.

But . . . as a friend he reasoned, reaching the end of the veranda, coming around the corner and towards her room, he reasoned, it was all right. He was Kenshin's best friend and—

Kenshin took care of what was his, he realized. As he spotted them—not in her room but out in the yard, beneath a canopy of leaves and shadows, as _his_ hand stroked over her hair, soothing her with words, he was too far to hear.

And glad all the same he could not, as he turned and left, unaware of Kenshin's pale-violet gaze, following him as he walked back into the dojo, away from them and out of sight. Before eyes, as warm as sunlight flickered down to the dark-head nestled in the arms she belonged—would always, _only _belong to.

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Score-cards! Who's keeping track. Raise your hand . . . Raise your hand . . . One . . . Two . . . And not counting beyond. I'm glad you all joined me. It's 4 am in CA and I'm tired and hungry but I'm finished with chapter two and I think that's all that matters. Hooray, for winter break.

As you can see a lot is going on and this is only chapter two. Well two of twenty, but still you have to remember the story is broken into two parts. Chapters 1-10; belonging to _Echoes_, counts down one day at a time to the one year anniversary of Enishi's Jinchuu. While the _Sounds of Yesterday_, chapters 11-20, begin four years from that day. Now, glad that's out of the way. Let's move on . . . .

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Small Notes: From a distance . . . dream and memory look quite the same, distorted by echoes that haunt him still. Kenshin is sometimes unable to discern the difference between dream and reality and hesitates when he still ought not to . . .

Killing Iizuka—a wish from so long ago, to hurt the one _traitor_, the one who set it all into motion so long ago, twisted into something unbearable as he realized even within the dream that Kaoru had once again taken Tomoe's place. Jolting him awake in the middle of a lake, unaware of how he'd gone there but sure, more than anything that the place he'd fallen asleep at, had been the dojo.

This ought to have worried him, ought to have made him wonder and scrutinize the subject until he found a plausible answer but this had not been the first time.

Kenshin, as the dreams have worsened, have become harder and harder for him to bear, has decidedly given up more and more—until he barely sleeps now. The fact that he's not waking where he's fallen asleep has very little bearing on him . . . at least at this point the subject is ignored as he heads back home.

Later in the day, as he's washing clothes, Kaoru interrupts him before it seems she's even had a real chance to examine the 'article' someone left out front for her to find. When she realizes what it is however, she becomes flustered and tries to hide it. And funny, how he reacts . . .

Who is Kenshin, _really_? Is he the soft spoken man who would rather get hurt than fight. Or hurt another before harm can come to the one he loves. Is he both . . . two sides of the same coin. The man who would turn on a friend if he saw betrayal?

It ought not to matter, he is human after all but . . . his life is defined by two main characteristics; hitokiri and rurouni, killer and protector. And he forgets that once he was both. Or how close, those two natures can become when he's under stressful situations like now, suffering from so very little sleep. Tormented by what could have been and what could happen if he gave into those emotions—that _want_.

Kenshin is acting odd, unaware of close his personalities have become in the last few months, so that when Kaoru tries to hide something, something he deems important, he's first reaction is to shun her. Not a rurouni reaction but the hitokiri's . . . when upset.

And how important is this article she gave him? How important a help or obstacle will it become? Already Kaoru's had one confrontation. And Sano, it seems has almost had six.

What is the meaning of the article in the first place? Why would the government let it be printed and why, above all things is Kenshin more preoccupied with some murder than what is going on now. The people have basically been told where he lives. More importantly, what Kaoru's connection to him is?

But all this seems unimportant, as Kenshin struggles with his feelings. Such traitorous feelings . . . he can't help but want to runaway. Because the alternative . . . He can't let himself think about it—doesn't want to think about it. But . . . he can't seem to avoid it. Sano has come too close, too close to what's already taken—to what's his. And though the rurouni might shy away from such things, such behavior, Battousai does not.

I hope these small notes help you understand a bit better. As always though, email if you have any questions. Thank you all for reading. And please, don't forget to review.


	3. Within a glance

Usual disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through the review button, alright. All right.

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CHAPTER THREE: Within a glance

The ground beneath him shifted as a sense of vertigo entered his limbs and he tilted forward, gripping the hilt of his blade as something in him roared. And pale-yellow fury, broke past the last restraints, drowning him in an all consuming fury, no amount of reason was enough to hold.

Battousai moved, beyond pain, beyond loss and the reach of her love as he struck out in vengeance. Killing the reason his life was gone. He desecrated the body. Bereft of thought and reason, remorseless in his overwhelming anger and desperation, his need to inflict the same kind of pain he was feeling tear him apart. He became awash in blood. Furious, that she had left him, that she had loved him, shielding him with her body, so that he could live.

He hated her—for not being selfish enough to save herself, for loving him more than her own life. He cried silent tears that seemed too loud amongst the dead quite. So what, if deep in the middle of the forest, surrounded by so much death, he picked her up. Held her body close and whispered useless words of love as he rocked them back and forth, he couldn't have her back. Though he wished for all-the-world a second chance, to see her smile and laugh, watch her eyes grow alight with love—happy as she'd always been; calling to him with frustration in her tone and her gem like eyes, dark with fury. He wanted her. And it ripped him apart that he had realized too late what she meant to him. What could have been, if he had allowed himself the chance to love her? He whispered her name, choking on the syllabus that had once brought him joy—as he cried.

Unresponsive as warmth enveloped him in a deep embrace and the scent of jasmine filled his breath, he continued to cry, too overwhelmed by his sense of loss to be able to discern the difference between warmth and cold. He felt dead, on the inside where she had lived, he was dead and he willed his heart to understand, so that slowly, his breathing eased; the beats of his heart with it, as he slowly slumped forward . . . into her waiting embrace.

But there was screaming, were there should have been silence. And even in his deep rooted wish to die and be at peace, he heard her scream his name. Fear and anguish, filtered through the layers of sleep then, making him react faster than needed, faster than the rurouni as his eyes snapped open and he half rose off the futon, reaching for a weapon he no longer had, _his katana . . . _

Kaoru's grip on his shoulders tightened, watching worriedly as pale-violet eyes focused on her face, traces of amber slowly ebbing away, too slow for her not to notice. As his expression settled in relief and his hands closed around her waist, roughly brining her down to him—he held her. Close against his chest, breathing warm against her face—thinking so incoherent still, he pushed her slightly back. Gently tracing the sides of her face before his hands took to lightly cupping, warming the tender slope of her throat in a gesture so very much like affection.

Confusion and want, raced through Kaoru who for the life of her would have sworn that Battousai was not capable of anything she would have ever considered tender and yet, the way he held her, touched her—_"Kaoru . . ." _even the way he said her name . . .

"Kaoru-dono," he meant to push her further back but her face crumbled and he paused in his attempt, knowing full well why but hesitant to broach that subject. He steeled his nerves, ceased the unconscious touching of her face and drew himself back. "Sessha," he stopped, cleared his throat of the roughness it'd gained during sleep and tried again. "Sessha did not mean to worry you Kaoru-dono but . . . it was just a nightmare. It's all right now, sessha—"

"Stop it," her voice, a whisper, of its normal strength made him focus on her again. "Please, stop it." she begged, drawing slowly back. "I don't want you to lie to me. If . . . if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. But _please_, don't lie to me."

As expected, his gaze skirted away from hers, guilty and ashamed. Aware that for the last couple of days now, which ever way his mood had shifted, he'd either drawn closer or pushed her further back. Unable to control his actions to the extend he always had before. Not because of guilt or whom he used to be but because of . . . _Enishi_.

He hardly ate, he barely slept and all the hours in between he spent thinking about how to avoid spilling his frustrations out onto the others. Manipulating his expression, so that she would see what he knew she needed to see. But that was becoming harder and harder to do. Everyday he put on his mask, smiled and laughed, tried so hard—for her, because she needed it. More than he needed to be sane. He wanted to keep her happy. But . . . maybe it was time he left . . . just for a short while . . . He thought, maybe if he could come up with a good enough excuse, she would let him go. But as he met her gaze, felt the tremor of anger spark in her ki and the worry in her eyes dissipate, he rethought the idea of suggesting it just then. Instead, he cleared his throat, looked around the room and wondered twice that morning why his sword wasn't by his side.

"Ano," he couldn't think with her so close; "My sakabatou?"

Kaoru's narrowed gaze fleeted once around the room then twice more when she noticed it was truly gone. "I—I don't know, I didn't see it when I came in." She said, suddenly troubled by the thought of someone else touching it, using it.

So was Kenshin, he knew he wouldn't have left it far. He'd learned his lesson after Gohei tricked . . . "Yahiko?"

"He slept over at the Akabeko." She looked around again, nervous. "You don't suppose . . . _someone_ came in and took it do you?"

He didn't know. He should have but with all that'd been going on—fuhh, he didn't want to get angry. But damn it, he tore the blankets off him and stood, aware of her eyes as he redid his ponytail and headed for the door. Stalking as Kaoru trailed just behind, curiously quite as he made a round of the dojo. Then one of the grounds when he didn't seem to see it . . . beneath a tree, the same tree he'd found her crying under just the day before . . .

His gaze flickered to her face but she'd just turned back, and was surveying where his eyes had been. When surprise light up her face. And he knew she'd seen it too. So why he reasoned, as he left her some feet back to get it, would she be surprised if she'd been the one to take it in the first place—though why he would even think that, he had no clue. Kaoru, he knew would never take it without asking and if ever she did take it, she wouldn't be so careless as to just leave it out where anyone could take it. It hadn't been her; but if not her and if not Yahiko, then who?

He bent down carefully, looking around for footprints or other clues, but there was nothing there. Still he unsheathed it, examined the blade front and back and looked over every single dent he'd put on it before brining it closer. To Kaoru it would seem, to get a better look but that's not why he did. He needed to be able to smell it, to make sure that all he could pick up on was the cold smell of steel, the leather around the handle and a slight musk of dirt and sweat—no blood.

But there was a faint trace of something, as he scratched at the tip of its back. Careful of the sharp edge, as he got the substance off—he brought it closer to his eyes, inspecting it for a long time. Carefully turning over what it could be . . . what he was afraid it might be . . . though in the end, unable to determine what it was. He re-sheathed it, cast a cautious glance around and grabbed her by the elbow as he took them back inside; unsure of what to think, as he gripped the hilt of his blade, the stirrings of anger beginning to wake as he wondered just how careless he had become.

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Sano smiled, surprised to see her at the door and waiting with that look of worry, darkening her eyes. "You keep showing up like this Jou-chan and people are gonna talk."

She rolled her eyes. Blew a way ward strand out of her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "Come off it."

His smile grew larger wondering where she could have heard such an expression.

"Something happened today?" He asked, opening the door and letting her in.

"Yes, Kenshin's Sakabatou . . . someone took it outside. But it was neither me nor Yahiko and he doesn't think it was you, so?"

"But he would have sensed someone come in."

"I'm not sure he can anymore, Sano. I just—I don't know. I asked him earlier but he never answered me," which could mean absolutely nothing there were things after all which he would just never discuss with her but it had seemed like he didn't know. And though she knew she just shouldn't assume . . . she couldn't help it. He was been so difficult, she'd just thought—

"Jou-chan?"

She looked at him, frustrated and annoyed, her thoughts easily led astray by thoughts of her rurouni in trouble. "What?"

Sano grinned. "I said, maybe he left it out."

"No, after Gohei—he always keeps it near."

"Maybe, he just doesn't remember."

Kaoru looked at Sano, wondering for a moment, if maybe the ex-gangster had fallen and hit his head—suggesting Kenshin would forget . . . she shook her head. "No matter what is going on with him . . . he would never just leave his sword someplace . . . _you know that._"

He agreed of course but he liked the idea a whole a lot more than someone—anyone, being able to enter the dojo; take something as well guarded as the sakabatou and get away. What did that say about the assailant, if Kenshin really hadn't been the one to leave it out?

"I don't like what you're thinking."

Sano frowned. "What?"

"You think that because he looks tired, he's somehow . . . he's not weak Sano."

"I know Jou-chan."

"Then why do you keep trying to pin things on him."

"What?"

Kaoru shook her head, trying hard not to cry. She was so tired of it. That's all she'd been doing lately. Something happened and there she was, a pool of tears just waiting to brim. No that it hadn't been nice of Kenshin to come after her the day before, but she wasn't going to start letting every man and his dog see how weak she was. Where was the pride in been a Kamiya, a kendo instructor and _current female interest of the Hitokiri Battousai_—in accordance with that stupid article. Kaoru sighed. "I have to go," she was worried he'd think something had happened to her, especially after earlier. She sighed again, really ticked, that things needed be so complicated for them. "I'll see you later for lunch or dinner, all right."

Sano hesitated, wondering if he should tell her now or later or just tell them both at the same time, since now, he wasn't even sure if he should— "Wait Jou-chan, I'll walk you back."

She smiled. "Thanks but you don't have to, I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, well humor me then."

She huffed disagreeably, though she still allowed him to walk her back, she thought Kenshin at least agree would that it was better to have an escort home when he felt there might be trouble, even if he hadn't been so forthcoming as to admit that there might be trouble, at least just yet.

The thought only made things more complicated, since she'd begun wondering if all of these things weren't just because he wasn't sleeping well. He had been acting so odd—but after seeing him, so tormented by his dreams, those nightmares. She'd begun to think, that what ever he felt during the day, was not been carried over into his dreams, because whatever he saw there were true horrors, things she probably couldn't even begin to imagine, he wouldn't have been crying otherwise, nor would Battousai have emerged so quickly when she'd called for him. Well for Kenshin, she amended, still surprised that the hitokiri had been the one to respond. And that he'd . . . he'd be so affectionate.

Kaoru sighed, rethinking her theory on the rurouni and his counterpart. And wondering, once again, just why he'd been so relieved to see her. The rurouni saw her everyday, after all, so why would Battousai be so happy to see her.

Thinking, about it only made her head hurt as she soon realized because for the life of her, she'd have thought that if anyone would want to avoid her it'd be Battousai whom she'd thought would only see her as a hindrance, something he needed to avoid, perhaps even ignore. But now, having seen him so close without the usual anger coloring his thoughts . . . she had to wonder, if perhaps she had been too harsh in her previous judgment of the hitokiri. Who like the rurouni had been terribly alone before she'd come along.

Sighing, wistfully, bitterly, she admitted that perhaps despite everything she liked to believe, _she still didn't know him at all._

Turning into the street of the dojo with Sano quietly along, she tried to banish the nasty thought, too late perhaps as guilt welled up inside her, freezing her step just outside the gates. Hesitant to enter and face the concerns of a man, she didn't think she deserved. Not until she understood—the thought trailed off as the gate swung open, Sano half turned, noticing her lack movement as he paused, turned back towards her and reached out with a gentle hand, wondering why her expression seemed so caught . . . caught, he realized on something just behind him as he turned. And stared at a topless rurouni, hair unbound as he seemed in the middle of returning inside.

Only he had stopped, caught between modesty and her shy curiosity which seemed to prompt a strange sort of fixation with the way her tongue slowly wet her lips and her eyes, darkened with emotion, he felt had no right to exist. Turning away, glancing at Sano instead, his eyes narrowed, gaze zeroing on the hand touching her shoulder, in what he supposed might be comfort.

Sano took a step away, knowing jealously when he saw it. He smiled at the much smaller man, "Oi Kenshin, where's your gi?"

He was baiting, Kenshin knew, expecting an, _Oro_ in feigned ignorance before flushing and moving out of sight, to hide or change, whatever was required or expected of him to do _but not today_. No, he shook his head, not today. He was tired. For three days now, all he'd had was an hours worth of sleep, and he feared being unable to protect them if the need should arise. Despite the nightmares, he knew he needed sleep. Had to get some sleep before his nature shifted and he was forced away to that dark place where sleep rose like dark heavy waters, weighing him down into a state of unconscious surrender, barely alive and no longer aware. Like Battousai, had been for more than ten years, before Jineh . . . before Kaoru.

He turned away, knowing what they might think, the suspicions that might arise but . . . What could he do, if he couldn't sense his enemy? Nothing was more important than protecting his family, protecting Kaoru. Everything else, he felt he could explain. Just not now, when anger seemed to be all he was capable off.

Fisting ice-cold hands, he disappeared into the house, hoping more than anything that even if only for a couple of hours; they would just let him be. Let him get that little bit of rest his mind needed so that later, he could explain himself properly, sooth her worries and hope to dissuade Sano from the dangerous line of thinking he'd sensed as of late. He didn't want nor _needed_ him filling Kaoru's head with any sort of hope about him coming around.

He was staying with her simply to protect her, to make sure she had a chance to live as he had been denied. No matter what. He swore that even as a rurouni, he could not ever hope to do enough to be worthy of her love. And no matter how much a selfish part of him insisted that an hitokiri, a legend, and savior to the people had done more than enough by providing her with a peaceful era, he would not bite.

His love for her would keep him in line where his need and want would rather have him turn, smile at her and pull her close. To pepper her face with kisses and have him breath dangerous, seductive words of love into her soft, pale throat. He could not and would not, as long as he clung to reason and his mask. He was a rurouni, peaceful and compassionate and with a vow to never kill again. And because of his past, especially because of his past, he would not yield to such selfishness.

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She was worried now, of course she was worried. It'd been hours since they'd come home and still he hadn't emerged from his room—if he was even in there. Kaoru shook her head. Of course, he was there. She wouldn't start doubting him now, getting all suspicious merely because he'd been a little distant—a little rude . . . like he'd never been before. Kaoru sighed, pacing back and forth down the same length of hall, unused to such fathomless confusion, it was driving her insane. Still, circling back to it for the millionth time, Kaoru wondered what in heavens name, had driven him to retreat the way he had? Was he worried still about the sakabatou, had he seen the 'article' from the day before? What, she wondered, was driving him to act this way—_what?_

She broke her pattern, striding past a napping Sano and into the hall leading to their rooms. She would ask him now before she chickened out and went back to pacing. To wondering—no more, she thought, clenching her hands, she was determined this time, walking right up to his door with her arm raised, ready to rapt on the wooden frame of the shoji before she chickened out . . . again. Again, she thought, backing up a step, she didn't understand why it was so difficult to do it. She had entered his room many times before, had woken him only a couple of those times but still, it's not as if she had never come to stand right here before.

Only now, it felt different, she knew that's why she was having such a difficult time. With him acting—not himself, her stubborn mind insisted, clearly choosing to ignore certain facts. That after many hours of thought, were declared too dangerous to probe any further and so she was forced to abandon certain conclusions on the grounds of them sounding too much like wishful thinking.

Sighing, she backed up another step, shaking her head in defeat before she turned back. Quietly, so she wouldn't wake him if he was indeed asleep. Which she hoped he was, he had looked so weary, earlier . . . without his gi . . . and his hair unbound . . . Kaoru closed her eyes, shaking the image from her mind, as she walked away, a bit too far as she overtook a step from the narrow path and walked right off the side, falling hard on to the ground below.

She bit back a cry, as pain flared along her senses, knocking the wind out of her a moment before she tried to rise. And whimpered, as she realized her fall had been somewhat broken by her hands, injuring an already fragile wrist. She cried out as she raised herself, unable to stop the sudden throbbing shooting up the injured arm. She leaned up against a beam, breathing heavily as the pain intensified when she tried to move it closer, higher against her body in a protective hold.

It was then the shoji slid open, revealing a tidied up Kenshin just as a still drowsy looking Sano came around the bend; both sets of eyes looking from each other to her before locking. Sano, she heard curse, saw him jump off the narrow path out of the side of her eye and idle close by as the rurouni took her good arm and pulled her closer. Inspecting the injury to the right wrist before, long calloused fingers touched the skin around it, watching her expression as he gently pushed against it, adding more and more pressure until she suddenly cried out and tried to back away, only, he wouldn't let her go.

"It's just sprained." Albeit inflamed at the moment but, "Sessha . . ." his gaze flickered to her face, "can fix this Kaoru-dono."

_Kaoru-dono . . . _

She could have thrown herself at him, she was so relieved. Never mind the much hated nickname, he was himself again. "Kenshin," there was no more need to worry now. He was fine.

"But if you'd rather have Dr. Genzai, Sano can go and—"

"No," a smile tugging at her lips, "If you can fix it, it'll be all the better."

"Oro?"

She couldn't help but laugh then, watching confusion cloud his eyes. She took a gentle grasp of his slender wrist before gently tugging him inside. "Come on," she coaxed, looking over and behind his shoulder. "Sano can be your nurse."

"Oi," insulted, thoroughly insulted, the ex-gangster trailed behind. Mumbling under his breath about a good-for-nothing rurouni and a too temperamental woman, he absolutely refused to name by name—though after a quick, menacing gaze from the said woman, he ceased speaking all together as he helped the idiotic rurouni when he asked him to fetch him bandages. Leaving them a lone a moment as he walked off to her room in search of the medical kit the doctor lady had left behind.

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"Kenshin . . ."_

Like a warm summer breeze. He turned his face into it, gently coaxed by the warmth in her features, so open and honest. So hopeful . . . "Aa," he clutched his sleeves tighter, waiting for the brown haired man to hurry and come back. Sleep had cleared his mind a bit but not so much he could be left alone with her.

"Are you feeling better now?"

He nodded, studiously avoiding the dark cobalt gaze as he took a closer look at her small hand. "Sessha," he said softly, "just needed a bit of . . ." space . . . "rest," he said, ignoring for a moment, the memory of her dream-self and the way she'd twined around him, brining comfort to him in the dark abyss of his ever changing memories. "Kaoru-dono . . ." He had made the mistake of leaning in.

She couldn't help but reach out to him, touching over the sides of his face and gliding her fingers through his bangs, she was disappointed as he slowly eased back. As if she wouldn't notice the subtle, pulling away. His meaning quite clear; in that—_don't touch me . . . please_—look she suddenly found in his turned away face.

"Oi!"

Kenshin turned as the ex-gangster came back into the room. And though he could sense the hurt in her expression, he refused to be turned by it. Stretching his hand to take the kit, he quietly set to work. Hastening through the ordeal without ever pressing how much it pained him, to be this close, to have her want him—to touch him, to comfort him, simply because . . . He pushed away the thought, trying to detach himself from the feel of jasmine scented skin as he finished bandaging her hand—before pulling away—further from her reach as he cast an inquiring glance her way.

"Is that better?"

She didn't notice the slight difference in his speech pattern. Didn't wonder where all the polite, guilt-ridden form of speaking had gone. Her eyes, as her attention were all focused on his face, the way concern filled his warm purple gaze and his face, contorted into an apprehensive frown.

"It's fine."

Sano, who'd been quiet so far, let out a long awaiting sigh. They were back to that game, were they? "Kay, so you feel better. Can we eat now?"

Kaoru sent him an infuriated look but he shrugged it off. Everything was back to normal and damn it, he was hungry. "Come on Kenshin, what were you making for lunch?"

That was his cue, like always to avoid the intimacy of an argument, as he stepped back focusing on Sano. "Tae-dono brought some food by earlier." He said, "We can have that . . . that we can." He watched patiently as Kaoru's frown slipped slightly and Sano's face brightened considerably, reaffirming his belief that Sano only ever heard what he wanted to hear, this time, Tae and food, as the younger man rubbed his hands enthusiastically. Kenshin smiled a little. "Sessha will go and get it—"

"Yeah and I'll just go and have seat, come on Jou-chan."

"Sano," she warned, jerking away from the hand coiling around her elbow. "I'm going to help—"

"He doesn't need your help—"

"But—"

"It's fine," Kenshin suddenly said, smiling reassuringly before moving back into the kitchen.

And deflating her ego, Kaoru's struggle ceased almost right away. Turning her gaze towards the ex-gangster now, she said very softly, in a too quiet voice. "Sano . . . Let. Me. Go."

"No, listen—" but as he tried to pull her further away from the hall, felt the full force of her bokken knock him back. He almost released then and there. If not for him being used to pain . . . "Listen," he hissed, yanking her away from her spot. "I want to tell you something before he comes back."

He was stronger, she realized, for the moment with only her left hand in good use. She wasn't able to do much and neither were her strikes as powerful. Sighing, she faced him.

"I'm leaving."

"So go then," she exploded. Irritated that she'd lost the chance to be alone with her rurouni simply cause he couldn't stay.

"What?" She growled and as he wouldn't quit staring. _"What?"_

"Jou-chan," she certainly wasn't making it easy, he thought. "I mean, I leaving . . . as in Tokyo . . . as in Japan."

_Leaving_ . . . by himself. "Why?"

"There are things I need to do." Like getting away before Kenshin comes to realize it's not sadness I feel when I watch him and you together. "Kenshin's fine now." He shrugged. "You can handle the rest, right?"

"Yes, but . . ." He was like her older brother. "Where will you go? You're not in trouble are you?" Of all days, why tell her today and like this . . . behind Kenshin's back. "You are going to tell Kenshin right? You're not just going to run off without saying good-bye—are you?"

"No," he reassured. "I'm going to tell him, I just wanted to tell you first?"

"Why?"

"Because . . ." _I think I love you_. "Jou-chan—" He didn't want to betray the trust Kenshin had placed in him. But—looking deep into her jewel like eyes and seeing the new born worry there—he stepped back, releasing her arm almost hesitantly. She's only concerned, he reminded. She loves me like family and I couldn't . . . I wouldn't take advantage of that. Whom she loves is Kenshin; as she should. Some time away would prove that to him. That what he felt now, was only something in passing, because she was the only female he'd ever really cared for—because of her kindness and innocence, her temperamental childlike nature and brute force—because . . . she was as she was. He grinned good-naturedly and kissed her forehead. "I just—" but he never finished, like before he suddenly felt Kenshin's presence too close.

Without thinking, he stepped back, tucking away a sudden wave of nervousness as he glanced towards the rurouni who'd stopped at the door. And though quite a distance away, it was his eyes that stopped him from moving any further.

"Kenshin, Sano's leaving."

"Jou-chan!" Damn it, he was going to tell him. Just not when he looked so damn pissed, _Che!_

He made no attempt to grab her as she walked on past him, though he did wonder if she was as oblivious as she suddenly seemed. Edging so close to Kenshin when he was pissed like that. Fuck. He certainly didn't have the nerve. But then he wasn't built like that either he thought, watching the rurouni's attention waver, refocusing on the small hand curling around the edge of his sleeve.

"He's leaving Japan."

But there was very little reaction on the rurouni's part, for a moment, his eyes only met Sano's which made the younger man wonder what the other was suddenly thinking.

"Where are you going?"

Kenshin's voice, Sano thought sounded awfully calm still, so it probably wouldn't hurt if he took a couple of steps forward, a little closer to the table and the food, which despite everything had not been forgotten. Still—"China," he answered, eyeing the food as the rurouni paled.

_China . . . _

For a moment everything flashed white behind his eyes, his only thoughts centered on grief and pain and the death of one woman because of another.

_Enishi. _

Hatred and anger seemed to cloud his mind, for a moment blinding him of his past and of his promise, the urge to protect so strong—he felt the dizzying affects of his perceptions shifting; the call of danger too strong, to fight against that part of him which he'd too long tried to bury.

Though before it could awaken, refuse to be pushed aside as fear consumed him, a gentle hand twined around his, pulling him forward and down to the table.

_Kaoru . . ._

She smiled at him, unaware of his fears.

_Koishii . . . _

"You need to eat Kenshin."

And what could he do but nod, going through the motions she expected. As the chaos of his thoughts centered on the whys'; why was Sano leaving now. And why China, of all places, didn't he know that's where _he_ lived. Hadn't he told him, when he found out some months ago that that's where _he'd_ gone?

What if he followed Sano back?

He couldn't loose her again; Never. Again. Once had been hard enough he thought, gripping the chopsticks so tight, they snapped in half.

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From a distance, a young voice boomed;

_Extra! Extra! Newspaper house burns to the ground. Famous reporter Takomoyo Senishi found _

_dead among the ruble._

_Fire believed to be the work of an undercover official . . . _

_Government spies . . . trying to quite down rumors of a shadow . . ._

Yahiko turned away, quickly shifting around the crowd gathering around the newspaper boy, as he headed back at an almost running pace back to the station. Hoping beyond hope that this sudden news had not yet reached Tokyo, for Kaoru's peace of mind, he hurried along, half dragging the stuff Tae had asked him to get. As his thoughts raced along, unable to wrap his mind around this concept everyone seemed so ready to believe. It was the government for goodness sakes. Why would they silence a reporter after the article had already been printed?

**_Amber flames engulf the Kunii House, unsettling Yokohama residents from a false sense of safety as . . ._**

Yahiko tucked the paper into his gi before mounting the train, skeptical still that it could be the government. At least not directly, he thought, it could always just be some official with a lot at stake, should Kenshin's suspicious nature be aroused.

But why he would think that, was beyond him, really. All he knew; was that as part of a privileged few, who'd lived to witness such a thing, Battousai was not someone he wanted to become personally acquainted with. He was protective—he guessed—though it might have been more than that. He didn't know. There was just something about him. Even though his gaze had never quite been directed at him, it'd still managed to infuse a sense of fear towards him. One he or any other man for that matter, would ever be likely to forget. "Poor Busu," he had no idea how she was going to deal with this sudden turn of events.

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Not much to comment, other than the obvious. I'm done with another chapter. Hooray, for winter break. This chapter, the usual twenty pages, was not so tough to write, it's the rest I am beginning to dread. Like many of the books I love, it doesn't begin to get good until chapter three or in my case, right after chapter three, either way. Let's move on.

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Small Notes: Within a glance . . . glass and mirrors can be deceiving. Just like dreams can often bear too much reality . . .

So here we are, a day after the events of the previous chapter. Coming to a start within the shadows of a dream—with Battousai fully active and aware as he'd once been . . . Reliving a memory, that has somehow twisted, into one of his greatest fears; Kaoru dying because of him . . . because her need to protect him, far out weighed her own need to live. Sound familiar yet, he's projecting the hitokiri's value of life onto the dream Kaoru. Which is not to say the real Kaoru wouldn't do the same, she is very impulsive after all. But that's beside the point, what you should've been able to pick up on, is the pattern he sees between sacrifice and love.

Also to be noted, is the fact that his dream comes real close to the memory of Tomoe dying without ever involving any of the characteristics and villains present in those memories. It is an echo, of a memory, altered by fear and the threat of a villain he can't see. He can kill him. But he still can't see him . . . which begs the question; is it merely fear that has him dreaming a faceless villain or is it someone he has sensed but has yet to put a face to?

Coming awake, we catch a glimpse of the elusive beast . . . Safely tucked away behind the mask and iron hard restraints which fear and lack of sleep have slowly begun to dent. So much it seems, it takes him a moment, to shutter his feelings back inside. A bit too slowly, as Kaoru catches tiny fragments of his true emotions, though he doesn't seem to realize that until she leans further into his caress and finally, panic rises within his chest.

Not enough though to distract him from his missing weapon, which he's more than sure he fell asleep with. It's then the unbidden feelings of mistrust arise. Though he seems to forget, that that for sometime now, he's been coming awake in strange places when he can swear he fell asleep at the dojo sometime before. So the question is; was it him or did someone really come into the dojo. And if there was someone there, does that mean that at certain times, when he thinks he feels the clammy hand of danger—there really is someone out there. Someone he can't sense.

But why would someone else need his sakabatou?

Likely first guest: frame up; secondary guess: manipulative exercise to bring Battousai forth. As for third, well . . . Kenshin; as the chapters have indicated to this point at least, Kenshin is not at all himself. Sleep depravation and lack of nourishment have taken their told on him, weakening his psyche against the tumbling emotions he's for sometime, kept at bay. _So who's to say, he himself didn't leave it out there_—or did something with it before coming back into the house. Kenshin, actually, as he seems to feel someone outside the compound, it's why he grabs her elbow and pulls her along, gripping the hilt of his blade in cautious defense despite still being unsure.

Kenshin is suspicious—lately a bit more rightly so as far as Sano is concerned. Though quite preoccupied with all the building problems surrounding him, he's still mindful of Sano, sensing something . . . that just doesn't sit right with the developing Kenshin personality, who feels that Sano is not just baiting him but challenging him as well. And though that part of him which is Battousai, restrained by years of fear and guilt, lying somewhere deep inside him, supposedly unaware—still manages to pick the scent off another alpha. The challenge is clear and responded to as the shadows of danger lurk just behind the purple of his dark eyes.

Sano has been warned. And for all his youth and immaturity, he gets the message loud and clear; unfortunately, a bit too late into the game. He has for sometime now, been developing feelings for a certain kenjutsu instructor. And the only way he can truly back off now, is by leaving.

To Kaoru, news of his departure comes as a sad testament of the human need to grow. Not so for Kenshin, who seems neither angry nor worried, at least, not about Sano. His one and main concern, for sometime now, has only been about her safety. Which right there should raise the flag for you; if you've seen anymore than five RK episodes, you should be very well aware of Kenshin's, better said, the rurouni's need to please Kaoru. Her happiness (after the Kyoto incident, not including ova) is the most important thing to him.

And though the feelings are there still, he's pushing them away, more insistently than before. What he fails to understand is that he's pushing away the wrong emotions. Those small bouts of anger, which were hardly, if ever glimpsed before are becoming quite more frequent. Simply put, he is welcoming more often than not, the anger and hatred he feels towards Enishi than the happiness and contentment he once found in her presence.

Worse now with rumors of assassins and the government involving themselves in a cover up—as for Yahiko, who's been absent from the dojo for most of the time lately, he's quite unexpectedly stumbled into something that could quite literally, change the way Kaoru feels . . . But only if he tells her, which he doesn't seem too keen on doing.

So now, well, only time will tell . . .

I hope that was enough, to help along those who didn't quite get some of the stuff, earlier. Same as always though, email me if you any more questions, yes. Thank you for reading. And please, don't forget to review. Ja!


	4. As shadows move

Usual disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through the review button, alright. All right.

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CHAPTER FOUR: As Shadows Move

Kenshin stirred. Blinking past a haze of slumber to find himself in the middle of the dojo's hall kneeling on the spot . . . he'd found her. Once, when he'd thought his eyes could be trusted; more so than the shattered remnants of his heart—and he'd abandoned her, to whatever kinds of fate. He'd abandoned her when she needed him. And though he'd gone for her, eventually, cried and fought and bled for her to be returned to him, he still couldn't help but wonder—what kind of protector that made him? What kind of man did that make him if he couldn't even . . . _protect your woman?_ He shook his head, struggling past the bitter anger threatening to choke him, he shook his head. Knowing it was useless—to think of what he could have done, if he had known. If only he had known what she meant to him. He wouldn't have broken so easily.

If he had known _then _what the realization would cost him. He wouldn't have drawn back. He wouldn't have crumpled helplessly on the floor and sobbed as his senses splintered—as pain and regret consumed him whole. _NO. _He would have turned back. In every sense of the word, he would have turned back and killed him, then and there. That perhaps, might've even been for the best—returning to what he'd been, since despite regret, he'd at least been free of the shackles guilt had placed upon his rurouni self. And how different then might it all have been if regret hadn't ruled him the way it did.

Sighing, he closed his eyes. Banishing the demons with the next breath that left his lungs, slowly as he exhaled, letting his thoughts drift away. Little by little, as he went through the motions of measured breathing, a reminder still that no matter what his age, his shishou probably still knew best. Not that he'd ever tell him that, the man was arrogant enough, he thought. Smiling slightly as he rose to stand, stretching tired muscles as he headed out the door, down the familiar path and around the bend as he headed towards his room. Wondering still what he should, now that Sano had gone . . .

His steps slowed as he neared the end of the hall. Catching the soft sounds of unrest and familiar calling of his name as he stopped, just outside her room—he didn't wonder why he didn't call her name or gently rasp on the wooden frame, or anything close for that matter to make his presence known, what he did do, was slide the shoji open. Come in the rest of the way and pause at the side of her bed. Silent for a moment as he watched her sleep, thinking and yet trying not to as he wondered what she dreamt. What had prompted her to call him; as she turned and spoke his name, he knelt down besides her. Curious, as he had not been since . . .

He couldn't remember. But neither could he admit that he might, given time—he brushed the thought aside. Refocusing his attentions on her instead; as he pulled her blankets back up to her shoulders, he couldn't help but gaze at her sleeping face, the softening of her expression as she slept, so still and peaceful, so beautiful, she made his heart ache. Longing for what he saw, could feel and breathe and _taste_; in dreams, where his other nature had ceased to rest, he loved her. The way he knew she deserved, without the echoes of his past or the shadows of his future, interfering, as he loved her; without regret, without thought or mind of consequence—so that for those few moments, before his dreams distorted and he knew of nothing else but the overwhelming sense of happiness her presence brought him, the peace her laughter drew or the fervor her touch incited—he knew a love as pure and kind as the woman he was in love with. Untainted by what he'd done. By what he sometimes wished, he hadn't done. To be worthy of that love; oh what he wouldn't give, for the chance.

For her—"_To be mine_."

His hands retracted, sadly, shaking his head as he breathed an exasperated breath. Wondering, for the millionth time, what the hell was wrong with him? It wasn't like he didn't know. He did, he knew better than to this. Indulging in such moments of wistfulness; he hadn't done this since . . . since after they'd come back. When he was still too afraid, fearing someone else might take her as she slept. He hadn't been able to let go. Not of his fears or the anger, or the slowly poising hate he'd developed towards _someone _he'd once thought deserved to take his life. For what he'd done, he had thought it only fair. A life for a life—how utterly ignorant though, for him, to think it was his death he'd been after. Oh, he'd wanted his life, it'd just never occurred to him, to think that _his life _had anything more to do than with his dying.

He'd never imagined that his life could be encompassed in the soul of another or that his joy would derive from the laughter of that other, that his happiness once again, rested in the palms of the woman he'd unknowingly come to love—was a realization, he hadn't been ready for. After so many years, of tears and pain and regret—how could he have known that in that small flicker of emotion he'd always felt around her, had thought of as devotion and gratitude, for all her warmth and kindness—there lay a greater truth.

How could he have known, if he'd never once been able to see, as others saw. That in the contradiction of his actions, his mask, revealed its flaws. Exposing more than just his anger, when he realized, it was because of him, that she'd been taken. Time after time, it was because of him—because of whom he'd been and who he was, she was constantly in danger. And though he could fix that, by one of two ways, he knew, the rurouni part of him wouldn't be convinced until the next time they were attacked. And by then, it might all be too late.

Just the same—he knew, he couldn't act without probable cause. "Not if sessha is to remain with you Kaoru-dono." Gently, moving her bangs aside, he whispered, "And that he does." _More than anything_ _sessha wants,_ _sessha_ **_needs_** _to be with you_—no matter how _wrong _that may be.

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'So when it rains; it really does pour,' he thought. Shaking water out of his hair, as he set his bokken by the door and turned, half-carrying, half-dragging the bottom part of his hakama. Cursing, under his breath, as he slowly made his way. Wondering, why of all the stupid things he'd ever done, he'd ever thought following Kenshin around, could ever be a smart one.

"I mean, he must have known I was there all along." There wasn't much of anything, one could do that he wouldn't notice. Of that, Yahiko was sure. No matter what his state-of-mind. Kenshin never missed much.

Which is why this was all so difficult to understand. Following Kenshin around had been nothing but a waste of time. Proving useless and irrelevant. Although strange, the way he'd walked out into the training hall. He hadn't really done much of anything there other than kneel there for several hours. Quite and still, as he often was. Only different, in a way hard to describe. His whole demeanor, especially as of late, was difficult to convey. Still, he couldn't help but wonder—were _he_ anybody else and were they never to have met, from afar at least, he'd have said that the man he now saw, was brooding.

Though after all he'd been through—shouldn't that be the least bit expected. Kenshin, whatever he once may have been, was fragile at heart. And though, he never might have believed it, had he not seen it first hand. He never would have understood how easily the rurouni could succumb to the turmoil within his heart.

Thinking about it now, only made it worse he realized, since in the end—"I don't know, what I'm gonna to do?" He needed Sano to talk this over with. Kaoru despite everything, always got real scary when she thought _anyone_ had even half a bad thought about Kenshin. What was she going to do when she found out The Yokohama Newspaper was blaming him for this murder. He still hadn't told her and he debated whether _that_ should even be an option. "I mean—" was there even a real need for it. The rurouni, had after all, done nothing wrong. And as far as he knew, the police would have to question him first.

Whatever their feelings about him now, he imagined the government would have to get involved if it looked like Kenshin was going to get into some real trouble. For all he'd done for them; ridding them of Enishi and Shishio. And helping them win the Bakumatsu, didn't they own him like a million favors for that. Shouldn't they be willing to overlook him anything.

If he needed it—"I mean . . . what are the odds that nut job really did see Kenshin light the fire." It'd been dark and the guy had already admitted to having a couple of drinks. "And he never actually saw his face." He just assumed it was the legendary hitokiri because of his long hair and sword. "And couldn't that just be any disgruntle samurai." He knew several people who fit that description. So maybe, he thought, turning into the kitchen and smacking into—

"Yahiko?"

He eeped, he couldn't help it. He'd been too lost in thought to wonder where he'd gone or what had become of him after he'd entered the house. Even so, being startled like this still made him more than a bit angry. How did he ever hope to become Tokyo's best Samurai if he constantly kept getting caught of guard. Of course this was Kenshin and the former hitokiri had a tendency of creeping up on people but still.

"Yahiko . . . why are you wet?"

"Oh—" he considered telling him the truth because: well, Kenshin being Kenshin would always know when he lied . . . but even so . . . how could he ask what he wanted to know, without _seeming _so damn dishonestand untrusting. For all he'd done, for him and Kaoru, how could he now ask him something so—implausible.

"You should change, that you should, before Kaoru-dono comes inside."

_Maybe . . ._ he thought, looking closely at the rurouni, watching him look around at all the water he'd dragged in . . . _maybe, he'll understand._

Sighing, almost dejectedly, Kenshin shook his head. "Go on ahead . . . Yahiko, sessha will take care of this, that he will." Smiling, his rurouni smile. Kenshin felt confusion cloud his eyes as he watched, Yahiko's expression turn from a look of solemn reflection to one of sudden dismay. Since for the life of him . . .

"It'll be all right." Yahiko realized, because whether Kenshin did it or not—should never have been the question. Kenshin was a rurouni and as peaceful as they come. He never, ever would have met or meet a confrontation in the ways of a normal man. And _that_, is something he never should have forgotten. More importantly, he was family and what he did . . . or may have done, whatever that might mean, is something _none of them _had any right to judge.

"Yahiko?"

He shook his head, clearing the heavy burden of his previous thoughts before meeting the soft purple gaze, concerned now, because of him and his lack of response. So that whatever he'd been meaning to say, died before it began. And all he _could_ say, for the guilt building in his chest is—"I'm sorry." For forgetting, for not trusting—for being too young to understand that sometimes, even someone like Kenshin needed—

"_Yahiko_, are you all right?"

"Yeah," looking down at the floor. He said, "It's nothing, I just—thanks Kenshin."

After a moment, when no answer came, he looked up at the silent man. Who's face, had grown uncharacteristically blank. With eyes, as dark as gems, filled with such intensity, it made the hairs on his arms stand on end. Kenshin knew. No-two-ways about it. He always knew when someone lied. But this—this was the first time he'd ever felt how much it truly bothered him.

"I—"

"_Should go _. . . that you should. Kaoru-dono is coming and sessha needs to clean this before she tries to—" Feeling, the corners of his mouth turn-up. He waved the boy away. "Sessha will take care of it, _just go_."

Yahiko moved away, though not before casting him a fleeting glance, more confused now than when he'd first walked in. Since he just—he couldn't understand. How could Kenshin _look_ so much like himself and yet sound so . . .

He suddenly stopped.

He'd only ever heard his voice like that once. Before, when Saitou had come—"But Kenshin's not . . ." He couldn't have been—out there in the kitchen, that was the rurouni they all knew. He'd been worried about Kaoru finding the kitchen in such a mess. So, "It couldn't have been him." It just couldn't. He only ever came out when there was danger. And since Enishi, there'd been no need for him whatsoever.

"I must have just imagined it," he thought. Being so paranoid with the whole, newspaper thing and all. "I must have not heard right." He was sure that's all it was. Cause there was no way in hell, Battousai would ever be caught doing something so . . . so, _womanly_.

Despite Kaoru's assurance that Kenshin was still Kenshin, when he got like that—he couldn't quite agree. He was too different, for one not to notice. That it was more than just the color of his eyes that changed when he became like that. It was everything. From the way he viewed the world to what he heartily believed. And though, somewhere deep down there might have been a common thread of joint belief—when he became like that, it was like the rurouni part they all knew . . . had never been. As though the mask had finally dropped away and what they saw, is all there'd ever been.

It scared him—yeah, but it worried him more. While the rurouni was sworn to protect and defend, he had no idea if Battousai even felt the same. He'd tried to kill Saitou, after all. Despite his vow to never kill again, he'd tried to slice him open. Not because of his taunting or baiting, but because of the threat he'd originally presented. Offering to kill Kaoru was never a good idea. And to suggest it—well, he just assumed it safer not to. If Saitou was any sort of indication on how he'd treated his enemies before . . . well, they'd probably never even see the killing blow.

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In the silence of the room, as he quietly drank his tea, Yahiko wondered about Sano; where he'd gone and why he'd suddenly left as he did. With a just note and offer to have his place. He'd never even said good-bye, just that he'd be back and to take care of both him and Kaoru, at least till he got back. Which he thought was kinda weird, specially since he'd never once mentioned Kenshin. Though they all knew he could take care of himself—he guessed, maybe that's why he hadn't bothered. Ahou! He hoped he was all right. Though knowing him, he'd probably already gotten into some sort of fight. He bet anything, he'd end up doing time too, he was just too easy to rile up. They were a lot alike in that way. He guessed, that's one of the reasons they'd gotten along as well as they had.

Sighing, somewhat sadly, he set his cup aside. Regarding Kaoru for the first, as she quietly drank her tea. Contently lost in thought, he assumed since from where he sat, he could see the tiniest smile just behind her cup. _Probably thinking about Kenshin_—

And on that line of thought, he surrendered previous musings, disturbing the silence around them, as he sought to catch her eye.

"Kaoru."

She started as he called, as though she might have forgotten, he was even there. She looked at him. Blushing profusely, though out of embarrassment or something else, he couldn't tell.

"Yes, Yahiko."

_Ok,_ he thought,_ so I have her attention; now what am I suppose to say. _"I . . ." _I can't just blurt out what I know. Or what_—_I suppose, I know._ Lowering his gaze, he thought maybe it be easier if he didn't look at her. "Kaoru . . ."

He couldn't quite figure out how to tell her what he'd heard. And with her gaze, trained on him so steadily . . . He just couldn't think at all. And as his mind blanked, his mouth went off with out his brain. Spurting off last thing he'd ever wanted to ask her.

"Do you ever think about Shigeru?"

The random question, he could tell, caught her completely off guard; as she set her cup aside, a little crease of worry spread across her brow. And though she answered him, he thought she did it all a bit too carefully, as she said, "I think about _Toki _sometimes. Why?"

He kinda shrugged, not too sure why he'd asked or how it could possibly have anything to do with what he wanted to tell her but, "I think about him . . . sometimes. He was so much like Kenshin. You know?"

She nodded. And he supposed, she did. As she must have seen herself in Toki, the way he kinda saw Shigeru in Kenshin. Or Kenshin in Shigeru, he shook his head, knowing it was one or the other. As he glanced back up, he saw a sort of sadness, clouding her eyes. As she gazed at him, almost _expectantly_, he thought; _she's waiting for me to go on._

"I'm . . . I worry, Kaoru." He couldn't out-right voice why but he figured she must have known. The way this conversation was turning.

"Yahiko—" her frown deepened, for a moment, hesitant to speak. Before continuing, in a stronger, more reassuring voice. She said, "You know it's not exactly, the same don't you. They," she paused, as though searching for the right words. "They shared a kind of bond, yes. Living through similar hardships and struggles, things they had to overcome. But that's about where it ended. Their beliefs, their heart, the way they viewed things—you understand—that's what makes a person so unique. It's what sets them part and ultimately, what keeps one from turning into the other."

When his head tilted. She nodded again, as though understanding, he couldn't quite see. "Alright," pausing. Again, searching for words to express and expels his concerns. She tried again. "Kenshin . . . You know how he feels, don't you? About violence and killing, you understand that to him, it's all a last resort. That if he could, he would settle everything without ever needing that blade . . . he has to carry."

"Kaoru—" He tried to interrupt her, only just realizing, this might be something she'd rather not discuss.

But she shook her head, "I know you looked up to Shigeru, Yahiko. And I know why these similarities might . . . concern you but it's not the same. Kenshin won't kill."

"But if they make him mad?"

"No." She refused to even think it.

"But Battousai—"

"NO!" Flustered, she dropped her gaze, insisting— "He can't. He won't."

And just like that, he understood; the reasons she needed to believe that. She was afraid, but unlike him, her whole concern revolved around _his_ fears. She was afraid he'd kill but only because it would _hurt_ him to break that kind of vow.

"Yahiko?"

He realized he couldn't hold that against her, now could he? It was how she'd been brought up. Her heart and love for others, it's just the way she was. She didn't judge. Not like others, whose eyes were clouded. In her eyes—they were all the same. Weren't they? Its why she took care of them. Why she worked and cried, why she sometimes screamed and nagged them. Why she worried so often. She loved them.

_A lot, _he realized as he was suddenly enfolded. His face, tightly pressed against her chest, listening to her heart beat as he sniffled. Hiding further into her arms, as a hot salty wetness made it self known and he realized for the first time in many months now, how much he'd really missed her. All those months ago. He'd never even told her how much he cared, how much he loved her.

Tae had said she'd known but did she really? Did she know he didn't mean it when he called her names. "Ka-oru," he tried to lift his face, to tell her now before something or someone could have the chance to take her once again. But she _shh'd_ him. Softly gliding her hands through his hair—_just like his mom had used to do_—

Before she'd died, he remembered how hard she'd had to try . . . so much like Kaoru . . . Only he'd never given her the chance. Even after she'd showed him the succession technique. He'd remained ungrateful. Just some, little bastard who deserved what he got—loosing the only thing he'd ever known since his own mothers love. How could she stand him. How could she even bear to look at him after how he'd acted.

"_Kaoru_—" he tried to push her off. Struggling to put some space, if any at all between them but she was stronger than she looked. Forcing his limbs back to his sides almost as soon as he'd begun. Holding him, a captive in her embrace, as she slowly began to rock them. Waiting for him to settle—she did something he did not expect. Resting her chin on top of his head, as she softly began to murmur, crooning against his hair.

_Words . . ._ he didn't so much as hear but rather _felt_ of all she meant. As he nodded, eager to believe her and whatever else that might entail, he sank into her arms. Crying like the child he was. Really wishing he could believe—if for no other reason than to know she'd be alright. He wished . . . whatever else might happen, he wished for Kenshin to always keep her safe.

For all their sakes, he knew Kaoru could never leave them—though only Kenshin seem to understand this. He was sure the rest of everyone felt the same. They'd have to, wouldn't they? After almost loosing her, he didn't think there was anyone among them who could bare to see that happen, not again. Kenshin specially—after all he'd suffered, he knew nothing short of death itself, would ever keep him from being there when she needed him. _Not ever again._ As he had heard him promise a sleeping Kaoru once—

_Will there be a repeat of what happened . . . that day. I swear . . ._ _that happiness you almost lost. In all this violence . . . I will protect it, Kaoru. I will protect it . . . _

And he had known, of course, the instant he'd opened his mouth he had know who it was. Promising her not just protection in that statement but a devotion greater than all his life. And as he'd expected, almost from the very start, the hitokiri had turned his head, looking straight through the shoji to where he hid. Pinpointing his location, with such exact precision, there was no doubt, he'd been seen.

Not that it'd even mattered though. As he had left him there alone to continue watching over her. He remembered thinking only that he wasn't even the littlest afraid. If anything, he had thought a pissed off Kenshin would do better at keeping her safe than the mild non-threatening rurouni ever had. Not because he couldn't . . . exactly. It's just . . . every time he remembered Kaoru's body, pinned to that wall. He just couldn't help but wonder; had it been Battousai all along—would that white-haired freak have even had the chance to do what he did.

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At times—when in the low, failing light of day. As the sun just begins to set—his eyes, could almost seem to darken. Filling with such emotion, he's forced to turn away—separating feelings from actions. As he'd had to sometime before—ages ago now, from when he'd first had had to learn; that to complete a specific task . . . sometimes _detachment _. . . was all there was. A simple means to an end, if that's all it'd really meant.

Then—or now—as he watched a play of shadows filling up the grounds, he thought it kind of odd, that one place could look so much like another. It just felt strange, though familiar in reminiscent sort of way . . . like before . . . only better, because _he knew_ this was his home. Whatever other place . . . was probably better off forgotten.

As he settled back, watching the darkening skies, wondering if there'd be rain or if the sun would merely set—he heard her sigh. Much to his surprise, he realized he had failed to sense her. Not that it mattered. But surely—had they been somewhere else . . . anywhere else, it could have meant either of their lives.

"Koishii?" He had to be more careful. Months in hiding, shouldn't have made him this distracted. If anything, the small break away, should have made him all the sharper. He should have felt her coming—

"Kenshin?"

His eyes narrowed, despite his promise not to do it so very often. He just couldn't seem to help it, he was to used to hiding behind his anger to simply just stop only a few days after. Even if she had asked him to—"What is it?"

The words had come out harsher than he'd expected. And from the way her eyes had suddenly started to glisten, he thought she'd surely start to cry. But no—

"Kenshin-baka."

As her fist connect with his face, he realized he really should have seen that coming. She'd never been one to let him get away with such behavior, so honestly, what did he expect. "Kaoru?" He knew he couldn't chide her, she was too used to getting her own way, for anything he now said to even get through to her. Either way, it's not as if she hadn't slapped him once or twice before. If anything, with the frequency she dispersed them, he thought he'd soon become immune.

"Koishii," she blushed at the endearment, still a bit embarrassed by that particular aspect of their relationship. She turned her face away, flushing furiously as she did, so that he had a pretty good idea why. "What is it?" His voice, now more amused than anything, only served to make her color heighten, as she turned back around. Trying really, really hard to glare at him.

He smiled. And watched amazedly as that was all it took for her to waver in her resolve. For the amusement on his behalf to turn into a silent kind of wonder, as he watched the dark look of anger melt from her striking jewel like eyes.

"Ano . . ."

He thought it nothing if not comforting—to watch her expressions reveal so much of what she thought.

"I . . ."

Looked so shy, he thought; with her face slightly turned and her eyes perceptibly cast on her lap. She looked beautiful. Even more than when he made—

"Ken_shin!_"

He met her gaze, maybe with a bit too much. As she colored. He decided, that perhaps, he did enjoy her being a little mad. The way her eyes flashed and her ki spiked . . . he really shouldn't enjoy that little thrill, it gave him. To feel her intentions and know she couldn't act on them . . . He really was a bastard, wasn't he.

"Aa."

With the mask back in place, he knew she was a bit too put out, to try and guess what he might have thought. As she squared her shoulders, unintentionally drawing his gaze, he saw her smile. Making him wonder, just how much of him she really thought she knew.

"Anta _please_, I've been meaning to tell you for days now . . . I just . . . I didn't know how to tell you."

The hesitance in her tone, would not have been enough of a cause for worry, if her gaze had not also been withdraw. "Koishii?" He was no longer playing, as he watched her eyes scrunch, in denial of the forming tears—

"I want to leave here."

"What—" to hell, that'd been the last thing he'd expected. But—"why?"

"I . . ."

He cupped her face, holding her still as he looked into her eyes. "_Why?_"

The moment she closed her eyes, he knew she'd lie. "I . . ." she trailed off. As though thinking, of something he might actually believe. "I don't . . ." She shook her head. "I don't want you to go."

He let her go, unable to decided if she lied to him or not.

"Kenshin?"

He shook his head, drawing further and further away from her.

"Please," she made a grab for his hand, only to have him step further back. "Kenshin, please. You can't leave me."

Of course he looked at her, the hesitant way she continued to speak his name—he knew there was something wrong. But he couldn't know it if she didn't tell him. Didn't she understand that.

"Himura."

He turned around, giving his back to the house and her as he met a young boys gaze.

"This just came for you, _sir_."

The envelope being extended, was black. The color of duty and shadows and the hollow way his heart felt at hearing her sob behind him. As he took it. But what else could he do. He had sworn to this. It was his job. It's what he did. Why was she trying to keep him from something she knew he had to do.

"Kenshin—"

"No." He didn't want to argue before leaving. "I'll be back later, all right we'll talk when I come back." As he stepped into the house, retrieving the mishiyuki he would need. He thought he heard her mumble—though it sounded muffled and incoherent, even with his great sense of hearing. He stepped back out, dressed in what he needed and with his daisho at his side. As he took a moment to look at her, wondering if she'd fine—before deciding he really shouldn't stall at all. The longer he took in completing this assignment, the longer it would be for him to return. And that, he thought, could only make things worse.

As he was leaving, glancing briefly over his shoulder and back to the porch, he saw the young boy had taken up his seat. Very, very close to Kaoru, as he wiped the remnant of her tears away, so careful and with such tenderness—Kenshin stopped.

Listening to what they spoke. Almost didn't matter, as he walked back towards where they sat however, he had the distinct impression, he hadn't been listening at all. As the boy repeated his statement though—"Onee-sama, _please _don't be sad. It doesn't matter if he's gone. I'll never leave you. I swear."

"Won't you smile, onee-sama. Wouldn't you smile for me, now."

And _that_, made his blood run cold. As it finally registered, who it was. "Enishi." His sword was out and piercing before he could think twice about it. As she screamed, and tried to shield him though, Kenshin could only watch in horror as the blade pierced her instead. As Enishi took off running, screaming or what could've been him sobbing, he couldn't tell. He couldn't hear him, even from as close as he'd run away. He couldn't hear him swearing to make him pay. All he could see was, Kaoru. The confusion and hurt in her gaze, the anger which then replaced it and the hateful way she refused to look at him again.

He didn't understand. And as her eyes finally closed and Enishi ran away. All he had was this guilt and fear, an anger so great . . . he could have lay waste to an entire nation and still, they wouldn't understand the meaning of pain. _Enishi._ If nothing else mattered then . . ._there was no reason for him to live_—as he ran off into the forest, blindly seeking the reason for his grief. He failed to miss a block set out in front of him. As he tripped and cut his hand . . . Kenshin came awake, somewhere in the forest and with blood slowly dripping from his hands.

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Well, as you can all see I'm back and this is the latest of chapters . . . in my collection and probably for a while too since I'm going to spend the rest of my time updating the other stories. Provided my post form last night took that is and the new chapter looks as it should. With all the right spaces and divisions and such. So, I'm crossing my fingers. In the meantime, let's get back to the story, yes.

Small Notes: From the beginning . . .

Starting with the title of our chapter, we notice the reference made to shadows and darkness, all subtle hints for which the hitokiri more than anyone else is so often known for. More so, as of recent, since The Kunii House made the mistake of printing up a particular article involving the hitokiri and a certain kendo-instructor they've dubbed his woman.

While this chapter, excludes mention of it, you should still be kind of wary. While it has not become a big deal--yet, it should make you wonder. Who wrote that particular little bit of info. And why?

If everything around them, is simply happening out of coincidence then what do the reports of missing people have to do with Kenshin. More importantly, why is he so concerned?

Even at his worst and most defeated, Kenshin was never one for paranoia. Though that can no longer be discounted, since it becomes a symptom among people who rarely eat and worse, among those who rarely sleep. In this instance, Kenshin becomes prime suspect. Cause how many times have seen him sleep--if each chapter accounts for a day in our count down to the anniversary of Enishi's Jinchuu--how many times, have you read he's slept? Not many, would be my guess. Since every time he does manage to finally fall asleep, he is terrorized by nightmares. And abruptly starts awake, most often, before the sun has even had a chance to rise--and too repeatedly before he's even had an hours worth of rest.

As fatigue begins to weigh more and more heavily upon his tired mind, his mood decidedly alters. Shifting to adjust more than to adapt to his current state of mind. Something which should be noted. As well as the fact that this, mostly tends to happen when he's too tired to even notice. Not that others don't. As both Sano and Yahiko have been privy to some of the more, deliberately hidden behavior. You have to wonder though--and perhaps, can't even help but think, that some part of Kenshin--no matter how tired, is still very much aware and extra cautious that she doesn't _see _anything that might upset her.

That, in itself would attribute to her insistence that Kenshin, no matter what his state of mind, is still just Kenshin. Normally, this much would be true. But as the days move forward, the statement becomes more than less likely. It becomes irrelevant, as Kenshin's behavior shifts more and more from what we know, to what we've only seen tiny glimpses off.

His behavior in the dream, is a direct testament of that. In there, he's neither the hitokiri nor the rurouni—_exactly_ but more of something in between. This correlation between the two; it becomes irrefutable when the shift is finally observed. The jump from caring to angry, to suspicious and then outright dangerous; refusing to hesitate when he sees no other reason.

Though his mind twists the desire to kill Enishi, he still refuses to let it be. If for no other reason, if has nothing else to loose, he wishes the death of Enishi to be the last thing he ever does. Even in sleep—he can't let go of that. He will never be able to let go of that. And that perhaps, is where the problem lies.

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. Though I apologize for leaving you on such a spot, I hope you guys understand that just couldn't be helped. I have so many stories to update. That it'll probably at least a month before you see another chapter. At least you're forewarned right.

Thanks for reading. And please, don't forget to review.


	5. And darkness draws

Usual disclaimer--Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me throughthis website or my own.

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CHAPTER FIVE : And darkness draws . . .

In a dim, shadowed corner of the yard; beneath a canopy of leaves and along a shrub full of flowers resting against the inside wall—he stood, eyes unseeing. Hidden beneath the dark wet veil his hair had become which even after hours in the river, lingered still of the tainting smell of blood. Like the smell of plum blossoms, it would forever whisper of the ghosts in his past. Despite regret and a heartfelt wish to _sometimes _forget; he could **not **outright deny—_that_—part of him didn't remain _exactly _the same, even after all these years . . .

He could not escape what he had been. Nor what he felt, at times like these, when it seemed his very soul threaten to rip it-self apart. _And all_—because of _him, _again, because he couldn't quite let go of _this _. . . fear and anger, this self-hatred—he resented way beyond his own inability to forgive himself. _He was useless_—he thought, bitterly smiling as the anger he'd always rather chosen to believe the hitokiri's and the hitokiri's alone, began to twist itself inside him, driving into him like shards of broken glass. It hurt, yes. But it was nothing, to the pain, his dream self had inflicted both upon himself and Kaoru . . .

No amounting of washing could make him forget that—no matter how cold or deep the water in that river had become—through out those hours, he had not been able to forget _the hurt _in her expression; the shock and betrayal, he'd seen fill her eyes—was just too real for him to simply disregard.

Even in a dream, he could not bear to see her suffer; never because of him—and certainly _never _because of someone else. He'd see them dead first, he thought; slowly opening his eyes, revealing the depths of his anger as he tried to focus bright, silver tainted eyes.

However useless he had become, he refused to leave her side. Leaving would only reveal a weakness he could not afford, not at her expense—he thought. Wordlessly, drawing in a breath before turning from the wall; reflections put aside as the first stirrings of his senses came alive; drumming through his blood like opium fogged the mind. The slow tingling sensation drew familiar around his back, raising the hairs on his arms like a kiss of breath against his face.

It was a stirring without sound but a ki, he would recognize beyond the ends of time; it was ki more familiar than his own, he thought, leaping from the ground to the outside wall without a hitch of effort. As he straightened liquid smooth limbs from a crouch, the whispers of his name suddenly made him halt. That something indefinable, catching on his senses like many layers of cobwebs, as he scanned his surroundings, liquid blue eyes narrowed.

Something from a distance echoed back, something like pain . . . But nothing else, he thought. Walking a few feet away before he realized what he'd done. After tonight, drawing from the shadows of the yard, was not good idea he reasoned as leaned against the dojo wall, eys closed, as he focused on pushing down his ki before bouncing it out again; this time, catching nothing but the echoes of sleeping figures and a glimmer, of what he'd thought—might have been . . . a Shinsen-gumi.

_Saitou_—he thought, mouth turning down at the corners as a flush of hatred spread across his skin. There was no reason, for the Shinsen-gumi to be here; no reason whatsoever, he thought, unless there was something going on he didn't know about. And if that was the case, there was only one reason they'd ever come.

Only one thing he could do then, he thought. If that's the way they decided to proceed, then he had no other choice—

Suddenly looking back, head slightly cocked, Kenshin listened to something like his name being called . . . Before abruptly turning, jumping back over the wall and making his way inside the dojo. The echoes of his anger long since faded from his mind, as all his senses attuned on Kaoru and the restless way, sleep had conjured the murmur of his name.

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"Kenshin," Kaoru murmured, blowing out her bangs in frustration before shaking him awake. "Come on," she coaxed, "Do you want me to be the one to start lunch?"

"Kenshin?" she called, slight worry coloring her tone when it became apparent he could not wake up. "Kenshin," she murmured, touching his forehead apprehensively before drawing back. Eyes wide and bright, as Kenshin's eyes flickered opened, recognition fleeting through pale lavender eyes, as they blinked at her slowly. Kaoru swallowed, unbidden tears trying to spill over her cheeks, as she mustered up the strength to keep him down.

"You have a fever," she explained, her grip loosening as his eyes blinked at her again, a debilitating sleep overcoming him before questions could be asked.

"What am I going to do with you," she murmured, hands slightly caressing his face before drawing up his blankets; tucking them around him, as best as she could around his seated form. Though sooner or later, she would end up dragging him over to the futon by the side of the wall. Just not now, she thought, right now, he needed to fall into a deep slumber, it was obviously the only way he was going to get rest today, she thought.

"I'll be back to check on you a little later," she promised, reluctantly drawing back on her haunches before completely rising off the floor. Hand posed, centimeters from gliding through his bangs, before begrudgingly, drawing it back as well.

Kami only knew, the way he could read peoples thoughts, their ki's and all of that, he should have figured out well on his own, how in love with him she was. Rurouni no baka, she thought, concern wining over frustration as she paused at the door. Warm affection radiating off her, as she slid the shoji closed—and Kenshin she could see as he lightly turned in sleep, the soft murmurs of her name making Kaoru pause.

As she stood outside his door, catching the whispers of her name being called, she shook her head, allowing her tears to spill over as she walked away. _How_ he could not realize, was beyond her. But nevertheless, she thought as she wiped at her eyes, she had things to do. Her rurouni was sick and she had to pick up the slack.

Kenshin had been out since breakfast and though she had not realized it was because he was sick. She now had twice as much to do. A good thing Yahiko had left more than an hour ago to help Tae too, she thought. The house would be much quieter without the little fool running amuck. Smiling fondly at his place at the table she walked straight on through to the kitchen.

"At least he'll bring some dinner home," she murmured—"So that's something I won't have to worry about. But as for lunch," she thought . . . She might end up going into town after all. Kenshin would need to sleep and she did have to see Dr. Genzai anyways, so she might as well go change she thought; as she made her way back through the hall though she began to think better of it. If she came too close to the room he might wake up. And he was so damn stubborn; she might not be able to drag him back to bed.

"I better just go in what I have on," she thought, brining the lapels of her kimono a little closer over her chest. Goodness knew she should have known better than to wear a kimono from two years ago simply because there had been nothing better handy. Though she could have gone outside and brought in the wash, she realized. There was nothing she could do about it now, if she did, she would never leave the house. At least not while there was light out or Kenshin remained asleep. "I better just go," she muttered, pulling on the lapels in a self conscious way.

She felt fat but what could she to do, "It's not like people look at me anyways," she thought pulling a bit of money from the pickle jar in the kitchen and heading out. She had to hurry if she was going to get any tofu at all today. Most vendors closed by lunch and didn't return until well after two, that is, if they did indeed come back for the day. She wasn't sure if the new vendor did just yet. She hadn't been back to the market place since Kumamoto had ruined her last new kimono. Kenshin, she realized, had insisted on it.

Though why, was still well beyond her. She had chalked it up to Kenshin just being Kenshin. But now that she thought about it, it dawned on her that he had never really given her a reason, nor had she ever really asked.

Kenshin no baka.

He was too protective of her, she thought, tripping over a stone on the road and nearly falling. As a set of strong arms brought her up straight, Kaoru's face reddened. "Gomen," she bowed, flashing a grateful smile before stepping around her rescuer.

"Don't I at least get a name," the stranger murmured, falling into step with Kaoru a few seconds later as she reached the market place.

"Kamiya Kaoru," she said, a bit more coolly than normal.

"Aa, Kaoru," he cooed, flashing white teeth and a handsome face as he moved aside his bangs. "What a very pretty name," he said, bowing slightly, as she turned to look at him.

"My name is Takemura Hano. _You_—"he stressed, "May call me Hano."

Kaoru nodded, a bit perplexed as to why he continued to follow her.

"So where are you going?" He asked, a slight smile playing on his lips as Kaoru eyebrows knotted.

"The market place," she gestured, knowing she must be looking at him a little strangely because he blushed.

"Ah well," he shrugged, his smile becoming a little broader. "That explains everything." He teased, watching as a little color rose high on Kaoru's cheeks.

"We needed some tofu," she elaborated, a small smile ghosting across her face as she took a left.

"We?" He inquired, dark eyebrow raised in question as he watched her nod. "Brothers?"

"No," she said, knowing she was being short but at the same time, she felt a little uncomfortable with his many questions.

"Aa," he nodded, bright amusement falling off his face as he looked at her knowingly.

Kaoru frowned but said nothing further until she reached the vendor. "Kahto-san? _You_ took over Kumamoto's place?" She asked, blushing embarrassedly after she realized her lack of formality towards the older gentlemen. "Gomen, I meant to say Kumamoto-san," she amended, worrying her bottom lip as the new tofu vendor, chuckled.

"Come now, Kaoru-chan. I've known you since before you could run. There's no need for such formalities. I am surprised however to see you in town without Himura." He said. Eyes pointedly narrowed at the male by her side.

"Oh—" _right_, she thought, face falling a little as she remembered the impromptu reason for her trip. "Yes, Kenshin's feeling a little under the weather. I had to sneak away while he was sleeping," she admitted, missing the surprised look off of two very curious men as she stared down at her tofu bucket.

"Well," Kahto said, clearing his throat a little. "You tell him, I hope he feels better and that I expect to see _him_ very soon." He emphasized, his smile a little forced as he glanced away from her to her unnamed companion.

"Sure," Kaoru nodded, handing over her bucket as silence descended between the two.

"You be careful now," he warned, a slight frown marring his old face as he handed her back her basket.

"I know how to take her of myself," she informed him, winking at him as she turned around and began her walk to Dr. Genzai.

"He's awfully friendly."

Kaoru sighed. "Look," she said, trying her best not to sound ungrateful. "I appreciate your help and all but you don't have to follow me around town."

"And leave a pretty girl like you all alone? I don't think so." He smiled all pretty white teeth and dark blue eyes. "Your . . . What was it? Himura, might not forgive me for letting a little thing like you walk around all on your own," he murmured, sidling a little closer to Kaoru, who tightly held on to her tofu.

She was young; she would admit and probably didn't understand very many things about how the world worked. But it sounded to Kaoru like this guy was coming on to her. And, okay she could see why Kenshin might be a little bit right about her coming into town by herself. But she also had to admit, this was the very first time, something like this had happened and not that the guy wasn't cute, she guessed, if you liked the dark haired and blue eyes and all that but she wasn't interested. She loved Kenshin.

Could she say that she wondered and have him kind of get it, without her having to spell it out?

"Kaoru!" Yahiko yelled barreling his way from the Akabeko to across the street, to where she stood frozen by the sight of his dangerously sloppy bokken movements. "What are you doing here? Didn't Kenshin say you weren't allowed to come to town alone?"

"She's not alone." Hano stated, interrupting Yahiko's tirade for a movement as he was glanced at, judged and instantly disliked.

Yahiko took a breath, "Who the hell is this? And where's Kenshin?" He yelled, drawing looks from a few curious individuals now circling around.

It made Kaoru mad immediately. "What in the world is wrong with you?" She snapped. Eyes narrowing dangerously as she approached him. "Where do you get off yelling at me for anything?" She growled. Temper just barely contained as she glared at him.

Yahiko despite taking a step back, refused to look away. With everything going on lately and Kenshin being in danger of being framed or hauled in by the government; Kaoru couldn't just go around making friends with new people. Men especially, he thought, as he glared at her in turn. "Where's Kenshin?" He asked, a bit more politely than before he was after all, not completely stupid.

"At home," she snapped, walking away from Yahiko, whose mouth had fallen open in surprise.

"That's quite a temper."

Kaoru sighed, _again_. "Look," she said, tone a little clipped as she stopped to look at him. "I said, thank you. And I don't want to be rude but I don't need any company ok. I don't have any money so if you were looking for that or a free meal maybe then you can just head on off back to the Akabeko. Tell Tae to put it on my tab ok."

She walked away quickly, feelings his eyes trained on her as she cut the corner and continued on her way. She had hated to be rude but something about the way Yahiko and Kahto-san had reacted to Hano, seemed a little off.

It was true she seemed to see the good in people but she didn't think she was that bad a judge in character.

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"So you're a Kenjutsu instructor?"

'_Okay_,' Kaoru thought, trying, really, really hard to maintain a reasonable point of view. "Did you follow me from Dr. Genzai's?" She asked, sounding almost as nonchalant as she appeared when she glanced at him.

He grinned but shook his head. Somehow, she couldn't find it in herself to believe that though. Her hands were full with the tofu and the small satchel across her breasts carrying Kenshin's medicine. Not to mention her wrist still hurt when she tried to perform defensive moves—really, there was just no way to start a fight she couldn't win, she thought.

Glancing down into her basket, she wondered again, why he was so determined to follow her. There had been at least a dozen girls prettier than her at the market place but he'd never once glanced at any of them.

"I—" Kaoru licked her lips, "I have someone already," she murmured, feeling her blush heighten as he tilted his head and smiled.

"Himura . . ." He repeated, a grin taking over his handsome face. "Himura Kenshin." He stated, watching as all that pretty pink left her face.

"How—"

"It wouldn't be proper for me not to know," he teased, a dark brow rising up and down suggestively. Which if anything made Kaoru's pace hastened.

"No need to run away now," he breathed, catching her by the arm as she almost sped away. "What's your hurry?"

"Kenshin's waiting for me," she lied, feeling a little cornered as she realized where she'd stopped. She wasn't too far from home, that was only two houses around the bend but here, in the alley between the street and someone else's wall. She was without weapons and lacking a bit of her usual strength.

"That's ok," Hano smiled, coyly closing his eyes as he drew down to whisper against her ear. "I'm sure he'll sense you before I can do much." He mouthed, words muffled by her face as she tried to turn away.

"Let go," Kaoru snapped, struggling to get enough space between them so she could at least toss the tofu aside. Sprained wrist or not, she was about to show him who Kamiya Kaoru really was.

"Let. Me. GO!" She yelled. Kneeing him between the legs and taking a step back. As he fell, one knee down the other upraised as a hand tightly clutched her wrist.

"I should have expected something like that," Hano mused. "Being Battousai's woman and all, but I got a little distracted," he admitted, looking a little flushed as he stood back up.

Kaoru's face paled, eyes wide as she realized, that damn article had circled more than one print. "I don't know what you mean," she braved, schooling the fear out of her features with more than just a little effort.

A slow smile spread across his face, all charm and seduction as he sidled close again. "I've been all around town," he murmured. "No one else fit your description."

"No one else could possible hold his attention," he acknowledge, looking at her for a moment with genuine regard. "You're very pretty."

"Kenshin won't like this," she thought.

"That's the whole point I'm afraid," Hano implied, as he gazed at her widened eyes, he realized she must have not meant to say that out loud.

"Kenshin . . ." he would never look at her the same if she didn't fight. If she let herself be tainted by someone else, Kenshin would never want her, she thought unable to keep the tears in her any longer. "Kenshin . . ." would never forgive her she thought, preparing for this come to blows, when Hano suddenly stiffened against her.

"Kaoru . . ."

The pronunciation of her name was completely disregarded as she looked past Hano's shoulder. "Kenshin," she murmured, signs of relief filling her face as she regarded him.

"Come," he said, making no move to take her. But Hano she realized must have known enough about Kenshin to let her go without a fuss.

"It was nothing personal," Hano smirked, eyes dark as he watched her sway by. "Just business," he admitted, winking at Kaoru as she turned around in Kenshin's arms.

"I'll see you around, ne Kaoru-chan." He said all smiles and fun as he attempted to leap up.

The look however, froze and fell off his face as Kenshin appeared in front of him, eyes pale and washed-off lavender, a hint of danger tightening the muscles around his face.

"You touched something that wasn't yours." Kenshin murmured voice barely above hearing, too low for Kaoru to make out but just enough to instill fear in Hano.

"I could kill you for that," he intoned, the sound of his hilt clicking home made Kaoru run towards them, pulling on his sleeve with a desperation he hadn't seen since . . . "Stop," he ordered, voice cold enough to freeze her heart.

"He wanted to hurt you." He reasoned. A flicker of the rurouni, coloring his tone before his eyes lost all warmth, turning his back to her as he pulled Hano aside, face hard and unforgiving in the dimness of the path. "During the Bakumatsu," he reminisced, "You would have been killed for a lot less than what you've done," he hissed, face pressed close enough to make Hano's face turn white.

"Please," she begged. Eyes full of tears in her desperation, sinking to her knees. "Please don't do anything to him," she pleaded. Face upturned as he turned back to look at her.

Eyes darker than before—"Kaoru-dono," he murmured, forgetting about his hold on Hano, as he turned towards her again—Hano ran away, putting as much distance between the two of them as he could muster before the fear of getting caught could make him faint or otherwise throw up.

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"Kaoru-dono," he murmured, groggily raising a hand to his eyes before. Suddenly sitting up, memories of the events flashing through his eyes, as Kaoru looked across the small span between them.

"What happened?"

"How do you mean?" Kaoru asked. Head lightly tilting to the side as his eyes began to narrow.

"Outside . . ." He took a moment to take a breath, steadying a dizziness he had not been aware he possessed.

"What happened outside—" he began, watching as Kaoru's gaze drifted from his own, to a bowl she started pouring water into.

"Kenshin," she sighed. "Nothings happened outside." She said, handing him the bowl with an expectant gaze. "Now drink it before it gets cold," she instructed, eyes steady on his hands as he put the bowl aside.

"Kenshin," she warned.

"Kaoru-dono, are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes," Kaoru murmured eyes strangely bright as she regarded him. "Now take your medicine," she coaxed. "I don't want you having any more nightmares."

"But that man, outside." Kenshin began, watching her shake her head before falling silent.

"Kenshin, I just woke you up."

"But earlier," he insisted. "Sessha woke up, you weren't here. But sessha—sessha could sense you, could feel your fear."

Kaoru turned away, placing his medicine between them. "Kenshin," she began, slowly as though trying to find the right words. "I haven't been anywhere outside these dojo walls. I know better than to leave while you're ill," she murmured, eyes cast down as Kenshin studied her.

"But sessha . . ." would not have let him get away anyways, he reasoned. If it had indeed happened, that man would be dead. Rurouni or not, even that part of him, couldn't have forgiven such a violation.

"It's your fever," she reasoned, coaxing the medicine back into his hands. Slowly tipping the cup against his lips with thoughtful concern and yet, he couldn't completely let it go. Yes, he'd been having nightmares, almost nonstop in the last few months but this was different. He remembered . . .

"Kenshin, please . . ."

He was sick, he gathered, a fever of some sort; that could account for his slower reaction time. For the hesitation . . . For letting the other man go . . .

"You're making me worry."

"Gomen," he apologized, automatically taking a drink before he realized what he'd done. With Kaoru, he inwardly sighed, there were just some things she'd conditioned him to respond to. He knew she'd never purposely taught him to but he did regardless, he thought, unable to keep a yawn from escaping him.

"Drink the rest of it," she whispered, a light commanding touch tipping his elbow and making him drink.

"I know you're sleepy," she murmured. "But just one more drink and you can go to sleep."

He nodded. Knowing he shouldn't feel so sleep so suddenly but it was difficult to fight it. He felt so sleepy he thought—taking a last drink from his cup before she took it from his grasp; warm, gentle hands, settling him on something soft.

"I'll be here when you wake up," she promised, smiling slightly as she gently touched his hair—coaxed him with all her might to make him fall asleep.

And there was nothing really bad about that, he thought just do as she wished—there was no real danger after all, nothing to suggest that any of what he'd thought was real; no marks, no bruises, there was nothing to even make him think she lied to him. No real danger, he thought, drowsily grasping her hand as he fell asleep.

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"Once an hitokiri always an hitokiri, ne Battousai."

_Aoshi_, he thought. Surprise quelling the anger, he'd carried since Jineh had died. "What are you doing here?"

"I came with Misao." He simply stated; eyes shuttered as Kenshin's narrowed.

"So where's Misao?"

A smile almost, _almost _ghosted over, the okashira's mouth. "Did something happen?" He asked eyes slightly darker than before as he regarded Kenshin's stiffened posture.

"No."

"No . . ." Aoshi murmured, eyes distant as he looked at the forest behind Kenshin. "Then what are you doing here?"

"I don't see how that's your concern."

Aoshi nodded, the curve of his mouth telling Kenshin, he'd picked up on everything from Kenshin's posture, to his form of _I_— "Won't Kamiya worry, you're not at home?" He asked. Eyes though cold brightened with amusement.

"Won't Misao?"

Aoshi's amusement faded, the first stirrings of anger, coursing through his veins, as he regarded the hitokiri. Voice and eyes as cold, as anything he had ever done. "No," he stated, face blank as they regarded one another.

Kenshin smiled, eyes dangerously close to bleeding past lavender. "Alright," he conceded. Hand drifting from the hilt of his sword to casually hang down at his side; as he began to walk away, Aoshi close as his side, he refrained from looking back. The forest would have to wait he thought, concealing anger with ever step, as they made their way to the Kamiya dojo.

"Oi! Aoshi, Misao says you've taken up pottery is that true?"

_Sano_, Kenshin thought, pausing at the door, where Aoshi stiffened beside him—"Aren't you supposed to be . . . out of town or something?" He asked, a little confused by the other man's appearance.

"What? And leave Jou-chan alone?"

Kenshin stiffened. Anger rising for a moment as the other man grinned down at him, eyebrow wagging in a way that made Kenshin want to rip it off.

"What are you doing here?" He asked his tone a little colder.

"It's lunchtime Kenshin, where else would I be?" The gangster asked, looking at Kenshin strangely before going back inside.

"That insolence will get him killed," Aoshi murmured, eyes darkened by an anger he could not conceal from Kenshin. As he looked at him, face blank of all emotion—

"Aoshi," Misao screamed, running out of the house like a little kid on holiday. "Sano, said you were home," she breathed, eyes bright and sparkling as she looked down at the leader of the Oniwabanshu.

"Misao," he greeted, voice calm, as he produced an air of aloofness, the little weasel seemed to ignore.

"Kaoru's been waiting for you." Misao stated, eyes only flickering over Kenshin before returning to her leader. "She's out in the back."

Kenshin nodded and made his way on out through the yard, the sounds of laughter carrying through the wind like the smell of spring. As he stepped down, eyes searching Kaoru out when he saw her.

Eyes as dark as a winter sky, closed as she laughed, hands slightly clasped over a swelling belly he could see, even from a distance.

"Anata," Kaoru murmured, eyes alight on his frozen form.

"My brother's come to visit," she said, turning briefly in the direction of a white haired man Kenshin could not clearly see.

But then he didn't have to. He never would have had to. He knew his ki, even disguised as it now seemed to be. Kenshin felt his vision fail him as dark amber overcame him.

"Come here," he whispered, hand outstretched towards Kaoru who looked a little perplexed.

"Are you not feeling all right," she asked, taking a step forward before her arm was suddenly clasped.

"Onee-sama," Enishi spoke, words soft and lilting as a song. "I just got here, don't leave me." He begged eyes strangely warm and affectionate as they regarded Kaoru.

"Oh," Kaoru breathed, casting a slight hesitant look towards Kenshin, whose hand had drifted towards the hilt of his sword.

"Kaoru," he called voice deeply un-amused. "Come here."

"No," Enishi said, putting Kaoru behind him as he squared off his shoulders. "I've come to take her home."

"Home? She is home," Kenshin reasoned. Anger spiking as Enishi shook his head.

"Home is where she's safe. And safe, is only by my side," Enishi whispered, pulling out a blade from within his trench coat. "You nearly let her get raped." He said, casually tossing his coat aside as Kaoru watched them, her expression fully bemused as Kenshin stiffened.

"That didn't happen," he reasoned. "That didn't happen."

"No," Enishi asked, "Then what were you doing out by the forest?"

Forest . . . Kenshin thought, vision flickering back to Kaoru, face full of tears as an unnamed man pressed himself against her, mouth too close against her face, as he breathed in her scent.

"I could kill you for that," he thought, face blank as he moved into a Battou Jutsu. The sound of his hilt clicking home frightened Kaoru, making her react in the same way his distant memory supplied.

"Stop," he told her, vision blurring as her unnamed assailant replaced Enishi in the yard.

"I swore I'd protect your happiness Kaoru. And _I will_, even if I have to kill to protect it . . ." He told her, blurring from his spot as he reappeared in from of them, blade glinting silver bright as he cut the man down, blood splashing across his face, as Kaoru crumpled with the weight of the corpse on top of her—his blade deeply embedded in her abdomen, as she stared at him, deep blue eyes widened in apparent shock.

Kenshin's katana fell from his hands. "No," murmured, voice resonating deep in his chest. "NO!" he cried, watching Kaoru gurgle on her blood," as he pushed of the other body aside. "No!" he screamed, voice deepened by his pain. "NO!"

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I'm back and much sooner than the six weeks I can be quoted as saying just a few days ago. School, what else could have kept me from you wonderful readers all this time, huh. I've been working none stop and though I'm a little sleep deprived, I think the chapter turned out pretty good. Its 21 pages and still, I feel I might cut off a little short. There are certain aspects of this particular day that needed to be tied into it but I just couldn't seem to make it fit without confusing the reader. Well more than I normally do anyways.

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Small Notes: What can I say that might not give the next chapter away? Well, I think I can safely say, for the time being that, the chapter begins a few hours after the last. (Remember each chapter represents one day on our count down to the first, Jinchuu Anniversary.)

After his traumatic dream, Kenshin spends many hours in the river, trying to wash the blood off his hand. Eventually however, he returns home and for sometime, just stands outside in the yard. Dark thoughts consuming without him really noticing.

A flicker of something draws his attention but instead of chasing after it like he would most normally do, he refrains. Afraid, of being drawn out away from the dojo and from where he could easily protect Kaoru. So he stays, bouncing off his ki at distance when Kaoru's sleeping murmurs break him off his train of thought.

Later, a worn down, sleep deprived Kenshin oversleeps, driving Kaoru to his room, in concern for her rurouni. When she arrives, she tries to wake him but it soon becomes apparent to her he has come down with some sort of fever.

From there . . . I can't tell you anymore for now. Sorry. I swear though, you'll be able to tell what really happened from the next chapter. I'll be sure to include plenty of footnotes to help you guys out. Until then, thank you for reading. Please don't forget to review.


	6. Where voices echo

Usual disclaimer--Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through this website or my own.

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CHAPTER SIX : Where voices echo . . .

In the distance, as the first rumbles of thunder rolled through the evening sky, the first signs of lightening began to flash; lighting up the evening with silver-blue bright patches that nearly split the sky in half. A storm was coming and soon, the very air as well as everything around them would be overcome by it.

Not much longer now, Kaoru thought. But hopefully a little longer still, Yahiko wasn't yet home and she worried about him getting caught in the first winter storm. Though she worried regardless, it was way past ten o'clock and he had never been this late before she thought, sighing in agitation as she glanced towards the front gates and still found no Yahiko walking through the door.

She was going to beat him up for making her worry so, she thought. Yahiko no baka, this was time she could have spent with Kenshin, happily watching out for him as he remained asleep.

"Kaoru?"

Her head snapped back. "I'm going to kill you," she assured, walking the distance that separated them before sighing and enveloping him in her arms. "I was worried Yahiko. You've never stayed out this late before."

"Yeah," Yahiko nodded, "Sorry about that, Tae closed a bit late, there was bit of a brawl and I stayed to help her clean up." He finished, brow slightly furrowed as he noticed, the lack of light behind her. "Is everything ok?" He asked, watching her face as she seemed to decide something.

"Yahiko," she began, wondering if she should kneel or something to make him understand her, at least a bit before his _I told you so_, could reach Kenshin's ears.

"I want you to keep quite about my trip to the market today, ok."

"Why, what happened? Where's Kenshin?" Yahiko asked, a look of concern washing across his face.

"He's . . . sick. I went into town to get him some medicine and things but . . ." She was not going to tell him, she thought. It was embarrassing enough that he'd been right. "I . . ."

"What? You got into a fight again?"

It was not easy telling him when his eyes were rolling all over the place like that she thought, eyes narrowing slightly. "No I didn't get into a fight." She snapped. "But Kenshin . . ."

"Stop pausing," Yahiko bit. Temper dangerously close to the surface since he'd seen her with that guy, which reminded him suddenly. "Who was that guy you were with earlier?"

"Yahiko," she hissed, pulling him by the arm and towards the shadows, careful glances thrown over her shoulder as they hid beneath them. "Look," she said, already more than a little annoyed. "I need for you to do me this one favor all right. Don't mention me going to the market and never, ever mention that guy in front of Kenshin, do you understand?"

"Kaoru . . ."

"Yahiko, this is important." She snapped, lowering herself to her knees in a fit to make him understand. "I'm not playing any games here, Kenshin can never know."

"Kenshin . . ." Yahiko began, eyes narrowed as a bit of understanding dawned on him. Kaoru was afraid . . . of Kenshin. Which made no sense at all because even when Kenshin turned all Battousai . . . "Oh," he thought, eyes widening as Kaoru's face began to pale.

"Yahiko," she pressed, "You have to keep quite about this. You can't tell Kenshin anything about today. Do you understand?" She was going to start shaking him like a doll if he didn't nod soon, she thought. Eyes slightly worried as she continued to glance at the door.

"Did he . . ." Yahiko paused, unsure of what he meant to ask but—"Are you ok?" He asked, concern making her smile.

"I'm fine, Kenshin . . . I fine," she assured. Eyes, gliding away from his before sighing somewhat more at ease, now that Yahiko had returned.

"Alright," he reassured, brotherly concern taking over his features as he helped her stand. "I won't say anything. But you have got to be more careful Kaoru; you can't just go around talking to strangers." He went on, speaking to her on some level, out of concern she thought as she smiled at him—

The echoes of Kenshin's screams, made them freeze. For a moment, blank of thought before they moved, as fast as their legs would carry them, barreling their way through the halls until Kaoru reached his room; heart, painfully small as she slammed the shoji aside.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru called, stepping away from Yahiko who seemed afraid to move away from the wall. "Kenshin, can you hear me?" She asked. Carefully kneeling in front of him before grasping his shoulder, "Kenshin," she called, heart tearing as he began to sob. "Kenshin please," she pleaded, shaking him lightly and then harder as he began cry.

"Maybe . . . Maybe you should slap him," Yahiko said, dark brown eyes, glistening with the beginnings of unshed tears.

No, Kaoru thought, that might scare him and I don't know who would then wake up. "I better not," she said, pausing in her shaking as she looked at his tear stained face.

"Kenshin," She murmured, eyes glistening and spilling as she pulled him towards her. "It's all right, Kenshin. It's all right," she murmured over and over again until some part of him, seemed to understand. And sleep as he'd once known it, came for him again.

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In the beginning—confusion was but an escape from last nights thoughts. All memories of dream and nightmare forgotten as he slowly began to unwind, shaking sleep out of his mind as he uncoiled limbs from restrictive confines; hands and heart stopping alike as they touched upon a sleeping Kaoru, who'd coiled around his side in what could only be a need to comfort. Though him or her, he could not decipher.

_Last night _. . .

He could not remember—he realized, not anything at all, not since . . . Since, he had tried to leave the dojo, since Enishi and that damn envelope . . .

'But that couldn't be right,' he thought, brow furrowing slightly, as he recalled the last of his thoughts. His recollections of the dream and waking up, slowly fleeted through his mind; making him wonder once again why he could not seem to recall anything beyond that time, beyond that dream and Kaoru, who he remembered, had been asleep on her futon when he'd at last come inside, not here, in this room where the very darkness around him seen to want to touch her, he thought. Closing his eyes against a dizzying spell, he had not been aware of.

As the image of her sleeping form rose in his minds eye, he knew without a doubt it could not to be the same night, she had had different clothes on he remembered. Though for that matter, so had he, he mused, a perplexed expression washing over his face as he regarded Kaoru once again, curious underneath it all, by the unexpected manifestation of her sleeping in his room.

_Is it not true?_ He wondered; eyes lit a pale lavender in the darkened room, soft as they lay upon her and yet, Kenshin sighed. Regardless, he thought—"Sessha cannot be with you."

For now, that amalgamation of self deceit and untruth had to be enough to keep himself away, he reasoned, shaking the drowsy feeling from his conscious as best he could before crouching down to take her in his arms. Gently moving her a bit aside before laying her down on his futon, covering her with the many blankets she'd no doubt set out before carefully brushing his fingertips across her temple and slowly then withdrawing from the room.

Confused on so many levels, he did not know what to do. Something like this had never happened to him before; even after Tomoe's death when grief had seemed like it might never end. He had not been moved by the hand of death. He had loved and he had lost. But he had not been shattered by that sense of loss. It shamed him even now to think he might have not really loved Tomoe, not as she loved him or as he suspected he might love Kaoru.

"_Kaoru_ . . ."

Was it not enough, he wondered, to have brought the Meiji to Japan, to have lost his sense of self and any other bit of humanity Kaoru had somehow learned to nurture . . . Was it not enough, he reasoned, suddenly fisting a hand against the wall as he took support from another wave of dizziness. "Was it not enough," he murmured—

"_To be worthy of her now_ . . ."

He shook his head, sad understanding angrily working its way from his heart to eyes his eyes before he slowly turned away. Leaving the dojo grounds in a veil of shadows created by the rain and darkened sky, heading towards a place he had only ever been to once in his life. Reasoning, as he always did, that what he could not forget, he could drown away as he'd once had learned to do in his younger days.

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Coping with the situation as Battousai had once done, went remarkably unnoticed by the forefront of his conscious thought. As he entered Sano's favorite place; _Toushi_, a mixture of drink and smell of men suffused the air, evoking such a feeling of De'ja vu across his senses, his eyes narrowed.

Frustration barely concealed shone bright and clear across the serious set of his expression; as he moved across the room, small water droplets continuously fell from his clothes, slowly pooling into a tiny puddle as he took his seat in a corner of the room. Light barely visible from the shadows did little to intrude.

Eerily similar to past occasions, it was the attendant at the bar who rushed over to his table, quickly setting down a bottle of sake and it's dish before quickly disappearing from his sight.

Hair as dark as blood now clung wetly to his face, doing little he knew, to shroud his identity from the masses. But even then he moved his bangs aside, unveiling his face as he took a drink. Light, pale lavender eyes almost lost to a hint of gold, resurfaced now and then as he took a drink. A small smile working its way up to his lips as a spike of fear emerged from the closest men. A swarm of murmurs all around before the taste in his mouth, regained that bitter tang of copper and salt. Sake, tainted like his drinker, he mused. Angrier than he could imagine for reasons still unknown.

He had lived through chaos and violence and anger, Kami only knew. Through out the Bakumatsu, despite a sliver of guilt, he had never once been afraid of the blood that stained his hands. Not until Tomoe, when she had laid heavy in his arms, face streaked red by the droplets of his cut marring her lifeless face—had he felt the first stirrings of that fear.

But now, in view of such recent events, with this cut on his hand and the memory of all her blood, staining his blade; he found, he could no longer understand . . . No matter how much he reasoned, it was just a dream. He did not understand.

How had he managed to run into the forest? And how, did he ever _trip_ in the exact same place he had dreamt. How was it even possible, for him to have gotten from the dojo to forest without ever tripping until then? He could not understand. And it worried him even more now that his dreams and reality had found a common thread.

The echoes of his dreams, he would admit, had finally found a way; resonating within his dreams until the stirrings of an amber gaze had roused from that place he'd thought had kept him safe. If he couldn't manage to find a way to control that stirring soon, he himself would be locked away. And Kaoru, whom the rurouni part of him had come to love beyond thought, he feared, would forever turn away from that amber gaze. No matter how much he yearned for her affections, she would never look at him the same again Battousai would make sure of that, he thought, closing his hands around the small dish so tightly, it shattered beneath his grip.

A slow even breath and a pause in the soft murmurs around him was enough for him to refocus all that anger, reigning it back a little tighter before he rose, eyes a dark purple now as he walked towards the attendant who he noticed, had grown a little paler than before.

"Hi . . . Himura-san," the man began, his voice only wavering a little. "I . . . Gomen," he apologized, bowing deeply to a confused rurouni.

"My name—"

"Aa," he said, laughing nervously as Kenshin's eyes began to narrow. "Well Sano used to come here all the time. And you . . ." He cleared his throat, discreetly wiping at the sweat on his brow with the back of his hand. "You were here when that man Kurama tried to kill my brother over his bill . . ." he trailed off, watching nervously as Kenshin nodded. His expression slowly clearing to something more familiar, a little less threatening than what he'd seen when the ex-hitokiri had first come in. Which reminded him suddenly—"Your bill is on the house." He said, concern beginning anew as something strange flashed across the rurouni's face.

"You don't have to—"

"But I insist," the bartender said, ignoring the slight tremble the hitokiri's voice produced in him before putting it aside and letting something like a smile ghost across his face. "Alright?"

Kenshin nodded, purple eyes, a little darker as he headed back out into the rain, clothes and hair still matted against his skin as he dissolved into the shadows like legend had always said.

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When morning dawned, thunder and lightening, still in battle over the darkened sky, Kaoru awoke with a bit of start, jumping in place as another clasp thunder roared with the sounds of dragons tearing up the ground. Frightfully peeking around, as the sounds died off and she couldn't help but yawn as she realized she wasn't in her room and Kenshin, she sighed was not in his either. Though he should have been, he was still sick she reasoned. He hadn't had enough medicine for the fever to go down. Kenshin no baka, she thought, silently fuming as she rose from his futon, folding over a blanket, she was sure he must tossed over her at some point during the night. Not that it mattered that was twice now, he just up left, she thought angrily tossing the blanket and futon into a corner in the room before stomping out.

He could be so thoughtless sometimes; she fumed, working her way through the house and into the kitchen. Knowing that with the weather and all, he wouldn't have dared left the house, not unless she specifically said it was ok.

Rurouni no baka, just wait till I find my bokken, she thought, ki spiking with vindictive eagerness as she entered the kitchen—only to find no one in sight.

"All right," she murmured becoming a bit perplexed as she wound back around, heading instead to Yahiko's room. That good-for-nothing rooster head and Yahiko had always had that in common; neither, she knew, could break the bad habit of sleeping in until someone came along with a bucket full of water she thought, smiling a little at the distant memory.

"Yahiko," she called, knocking on the wood panel of his shoji. "Yahiko."

She waited a few seconds, ear pressed close against the soft-rice paneling, but nothing happened and she sighed again before carefully opening the door.

His bed was unmade which was no surprise to her at all. He never made it up unless someone made him. Besides, it was raining she reasoned, so he must have gotten up for food and then . . . Well, he would have wanted to come back to bed she thought. Closing the door with a distinctive snap as she wondered where either of the two might have gone.

The training hall, it occurred to her as a likely place for Yahiko to have gone but Kenshin—"He better not have left," she whispered. A sudden shiver running down her spine, as something akin to fear flashed behind her eyes.

Determined now to find either one, she step outside of the main room and out into the back, making her way to the veranda. As she watched, a slight sprinkling rain suddenly turned into a full-out down pour, washing over the yard with such force, she barely heard the sounds of thunder, booming not too behind a distinctive light which lit the sky—

"Kaoru?"

"I_i-tai_!"

"Kaoru! Kaoru are you ok?"

"Do I look ok?" She snapped. Raising herself off the wet ground as Yahiko peered down at her.

"Sorry," he apologized, wincing as he took a look at her mud ridden kimono. "I didn't mean to make you fall." He said, a slight smile trying to break across his face.

"I going to kill you," she assured, wincing a little as he grabbed her hand.

"It still hurts?"

"Yeah," she nodded, holding it close to her chest as she looked around the yard. "Have you seen Kenshin?"

"No. Have you checked his room?" He offered, peering at Kaoru for a moment before sighing as he realized they still hadn't moved. "Kaoru, it's raining."

"Yes? I didn't realize," she bit.

"Whatever then, I'm going back to bed." He snapped, turning back around and stepping back on the veranda. Glancing casually back at her as she peered off into the distance.

"You're going to get sick, if you just stand there _Busu_."

She glared at him immediately. "You better watch yourself Yahiko-_chan_. You wouldn't want Tsubame to find out you wrote her a poem would you?"

"You ugly hag . . ." he breathed. "And here I was almost worried about your health," he fumed. Dark eyes narrowed as he saw her smile and wad up a step towards the veranda. All it would take was one push he thought, one push and she'd fall back into all that mud.

"If you tell Tsubame . . ." he threatened.

"You'll what?" She snapped. Deep blue eyes narrowed as she towered over him. Gaze dark in amusement as she watched him look between her and the muddy yard, his thoughts only too clear on his intent. She prepared herself to grab on to his hand as she fell back.

"I'll tell Kenshin."

"Tell him what?" Kenshin asked voice soft and amused, as he caught the strangest expression on their face.

"Nothing!" They chorused, ki spiking simultaneously which even to him implied a shared lie.

"Nothing," he murmured watching them carefully as they refused to meet his gaze. A distinct air of fear blanketing his senses with some concern as they seemed to try and hide it, nervous eyes sliding across his face before they sighed, heads hung low as defeat surrounded them.

"Kenshin," Kaoru said, voice soft as he regarded her. For a moment blank of thought as he rushed over to her side—"Kaoru-dono," he murmured, realizing for the time since he'd across them, how wet both had become. "You need to change, that you should" he said, looking seriously at the both of them before pushing Yahiko in the direction of his room and taking Kaoru by the hand.

"Kenshin," she winced, pulling her injured hand from his grasp as he regarded her. Purple eyes a little lighter than usual but nothing really out of the ordinary, she thought. Watching him watch her before something in his gaze dimmed.

"Does your hand still hurt Kaoru-dono?"

She nodded, wishing anything but to remain silent. She wanted to ask him where he was. Why he'd left her so suddenly this morning as well as what he had dreamt the night before to have upset him so.

"Sessha will take care of it then," he said, flashing a rurouni smile in her direction which always seemed to have the desired effect, even when she didn't want it to, she blushed. Abruptly turning around and walking away. Thoughts of Kaoru no baka filling up her head until concerns over what to wear won out over common sense.

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It didn't take long for him to find the things he would need to take care of her wrist. Though he worried she had fallen again and caused further damage, he could not leave the house while she was still awake. He knew how much she worried when he was out of her sight, he thought, feeling light devotion suddenly darken as a flash of ki and anger, spiked somewhere in the house behind him. As he abruptly turned around, dark-eyes narrowed as he sensed out its direction. Kaoru barreled her way into the room.

"You," she pointed, face pale and accusing. "You're sick and I can't believe I could forget something like that." She fumed, snatching things out of his arm as she dragged him by the arm.

"Kaoru-dono?"

"Don't Kaoru-dono me," she snapped. Turning around so quickly, he might have knocked her down, had he been anyone else.

"But sessha—"

"Does not feel fine," she interrupted. Anger flushing her features a light pink hue he found a little distracting. As he tried to step away, Kaoru's hand tightened. "You did not take enough medicine yesterday for you to feel fine Kenshin. You are not fine." She raged, twisting the material of his gi until he found himself following her once again.

"But sessha doesn't have a fever," he argued, feebly pulling on his wrist in an effort to make her release his arm but she would not. "Kaoru-dono," he tried again, stilling her movements with a little more added strength.

"Please, if sessha begins to feel ill—" he paused as Kaoru let him go, real anger beating against his senses as she stepped into his space, a slight look of worry darkening her eyes as she placed a hand against his face. And Kenshin . . . Kenshin jerked away, surprise kindling his eyes as she slowly lowered her hand.

He had not meant to do that, he thought. But she should know better than to touch him. He had spent months trying to avoid such intimacies. Why would she do that now? What the hell had happed the day before to make her think such an action would be welcomed, he thought. Face blank of expression as he regarded her—"Kaoru-dono . . ."

"What? You're sorry?" She asked; hurt transmuting to a deep unguarded anger. A myriad of emotions, eclipsing the brightness in her eyes as she slowly turned her face away. "You're always sorry," she whispered.

As he shook his head, denial making him take a step away—Kaoru nodded. "All right," she said voice barely above a whisper as his attention snapped back to her solemn face—understanding dawning late, as he saw her read his silence as affirmation before she looked at him once more, eyes dark and unreadable, as she turned around and walked away. The dulling sense of anger, dissipating with the distance the slight echo of her anger had threaded through his head.

However he had meant to answer had frozen at her outburst, laying him immobile for a second before realized he needed to go after her. Knowing however undeserving he might feel, the simple truth of the matter did not change the fact that she had chained his heart long before he had ever dreamt possible.

Brokenly, unsure and however else his heart might have felt, froze once again as he caught up with her in the hallway. A cold breeze, tangling through her hair swept it against his arm as he reached for her, hoping to make her turn—when the world around him suddenly dimmed around the edges. The echoes of her voice, coming in and out of focus as he watched the hurt and confusion on her face clear off as she caught him in her arms, concern never wavering as he pulled himself away.

"Gomen nasai," he said, face suffused a dark pink as Kaoru gazed at him. "Sessha . . . sessha didn't mean to trip," he murmured unable to meet to her gaze as she began to smile.

"Kenshin no baka," she whispered, her tone alight with affection as she regarded him once more. "You never listen," she chided. Slowly coaxing him to understand—"You're still sick. Why don't you go rest?"

"Kaoru-dono . . ." He didn't want to argue over this, he realized. Kami only knew, he didn't want to inadvertently hurt her feelings either but what did she expect him to do. He felt fine. Admittedly, he was a little tired and the unexpected dizziness was ill-timed obviously but other than that. He was perfectly fine, he thought, sighing in defeat as she regarded him.

"If sessha takes some medicine now," he proposed, carefully watching her reaction brighten as she smiled. "Can he not just promise to take some rest later?" He asked eyes hopeful as her head tilted in thought.

"Well, I suppose that would be alright," she murmured. "You wouldn't be walking around if you didn't at least feel better than last night . . ." She trailed off, eyes unreadable with an abundance of emotion Kenshin stepped away from, rurouni mask, just barely shielding his retreat.

"Aa," he said, sensing something in her emotions, she quickly tried to blink away.

"Are you hungry?" She asked voice hopeful suddenly as he gazed at her.

"No."

"Kenshin?" She asked, tentatively searching his gaze as he shook his head.

"Gomen nasai," he apologized. "Sessha forgot you haven't eaten," he recalled, plastering a goofy grin over his face before slightly bowing. "We'll eat together just as soon as sessha's made you lunch," he soothed. Mask fully in place as he watched her nod, cold from the inside out as he realized something in his speech, had revealed a twisted little morsel of truth.

"All right," she agreed, smiling lightly as she turned back around. "I'll just get your medicine," she tossed, briefly glancing at him over her shoulder before leaving him alone, in a now deserted hallway. A feeling of dead weight settling over his shoulders as he realized that cold-distance hatred, he'd long ago attributed to the hitokiri's persona, had resurfaced once more . . .

Even after all these years . . .

His thoughts were tainted; no matter what he did or tried to do, Jineh had still somehow sensed it. Saitou had known, of course but _Enishi_ he thought, bitterly turning away—had been the only one to prey upon it. To them; _an hitokiri would always _be _an hitokiri_. Nothing he could do or say would ever change the fact he thought, briefly glancing up at the darkening sky before exchanging the warm comfort of the dojo grounds for the cold solitude the rain now offered.

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"Yahiko?" Kaoru called, slight annoyance beginning to wear her temper down. "Come on." She thought; how many times do I have to go through the same thing. "Yahiko!" I'm going to kill you, she thought, inwardly sighing as she looked around. "This isn't funny." She yelled, rounding the corner when the training hall suddenly caught her notice. 'The shoji shouldn't be open,' she murmured, stalking towards it with some determination. "Yahiko—

"Kaoru! Don't . . ."

But it was all a little too late, Yahiko's captor punched him in the stomach, cutting off the rest of any words as the air escaped his lungs. The slight sting of tears, blurring his vision as Kaoru rushed inside.

"Kao . . . oru, no. "

Surprise flickered through her just a second or so, before someone caught her. "Yahiko," she called, straining against the binding hold. "Yahiko, are you all right?"

He could nod, albeit slowly he realized, getting a better look at their captor as he had not been able to before. _When he caught me off guard_, he thought. Eyes narrowing slightly as it ran over, the man's strange dark gi and if he could remember correctly, onmitsu bottoms, he noted, focusing for a moment on the man's twin set of wrist and leg guards. When it occurred to him, the ensemble would not look so unusual if the man's face wasn't also covered. It was a lot of clothing for . . .

"You're not a thieve . . ." Yahiko whispered, eyes wide as the man looked around Kaoru's struggling frame to look at him.

"I'm here for something a little more valuable." The bandit said, voice strangely deep for someone of Yahiko's stature and Dr. Genzai's weight.

Kaoru immediately stopped her struggle. The fact that the man had been able to get into the dojo was enough to confirm her previous concerns. Kenshin wasn't home. This man, whoever it was, had waited patiently out somewhere close, lingering until the opportune time to sneak inside.

"There is nothing here of Kenshin's." She stated, voice loud and clear, only wavering a little at the end.

"I would beg to differ," the man said, pulling something out of his gi as she tossed a sideways glance towards the side of the room. Yahiko, she thought, watching worriedly as he began to inch towards the practice bokken's she kept on the wall.

"I'd suggest you stop _right there_," the bandit said, never looking up as he tied Kaoru's hand behind her back, testing the knot before nodding and pulling her along.

"Oi!" Yahiko yelled, grabbing a bokken quick of the wall before scrambling after them. "Oi."

"Yahiko," Kaoru warned, twisting back to look at him. "Stay back." She ordered. Resisting the harsh pull the bandit gave her binds. "I want you to stay back."

"Kaoru, he's not even carrying a sword." He pointed, putting his right foot in front of his left before tightening his hold on his bokken.

"What?" For a moment, she stopped shaking her head, twisting immediately back to look at the bandit.

"Oh, I don't need one for the likes of you," he explained, smiling underneath the garment that hid his face, as he pulled Kaoru forward, she tripped over the last step coming down the veranda, landing messily on the ground below as rain continued to fall around her. Yahiko charged at the man, bokken held up high as he struck down with enough force to make her proud. And yet, as she watched them the bandit simply raised an arm, absorbing the weight of the blow, through a wrist guard, she had not noticed.

"Who are you?" Kaoru asked, face a ghastly shade of white as she slowly made it back to her feet. Eyes ever watchful of her Yahiko, darkened in concern as he staggered back, baffled only briefly before he retook his position, gripping the bokken a little tighter than before charging once again even support distributed through his body, as he raised it, form only a little off as he drew it back—

The bandit punched him in the apex, freezing every feature on his face as he fell back, eyes tightly shut, Kaoru scrambled to his side, pulling hard enough on her wrists to almost tear the fabric free.

"Stop," he growled, getting to her just as she swung her legs under her arms, hands rising protectively in front of her as he approached.

"I don't know what you want," Kaoru said, slowly backing up towards Yahiko, who had not yet resumed breathing. "Please, just let me check on him, all right?"

"No, I don't think so." He said, grabbing her by the arm as she dove for the bokken. "You're a feisty little thing though I'll give you that," he murmured, pulling her hard up against him. "I can see why he likes you."

_Enough is enough_ she thought. "If you have such a problem with Kenshin, why don't you just take it up with him?" She snapped. "I'm sick and tired of being taken hostage and dragged all around," she fumed, her voice only growing louder. "You're all a bunch of cowards—"

Even over her rant, the backhanded slap he delivered against the side of her was loud in the courtyard. The echoes, of it ringing loud and somewhat off, as it reverberated through her skull, stunning her for a moment into a silence that did not last.

"Kenshin!"

Both Kaoru and the bandit stiffened, unaware of the moment, Yahiko had regained conscious.

"Kenshin!" He screamed darting away from the bandit and into the open yard. Unashamed to call for help; not when Kaoru's life depended on it he thought. Pushing aside his pride as he'd once had to do for her before.

No one, he had sworn, would ever take Kaoru away from them. Not ever again and if by that it meant he could not be the one so save her then by Kami, he would at least be the one who'd bring her help he thought, running around in a full figure eight around the yard before heading towards the gate.

"I'm going to kill you," the bandit growled. Catching Yahiko just as he touched the doors, a bloody arm quickly grasping at his throat before the full weight of the unexpected attack hurled them towards the woodened wall.

"Let him, go." Kaoru ordered, tightening her vice like grip around his neck. "Now," she growled, ready to tighten her grip further when he suddenly pushed her off. Posture stiff, as his head swiveled around. "Fuck," he growled, quickly tapering on his rising anger before shoving Yahiko aside, leaving through the gates out as fast as he could. Running and running, until he felt a good safe distance away before ever even considering the possibility of slowing down. Though at this pace, he'd have a hard time catching me, he thought, somewhat more relieved by all the rain, which hadn't let up since the night before.

_Just_ act casual, he told himself, slowly sliding his hands into his pockets, when the unexpected weight of something sharp knocked him back. Eyes catching only shadows of a man, as he bent down, long dark hair obscuring his eyes before all sensation as he knew it, eclipsed to darkness.

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Well another day another chapter, eh? Bet you weren't planning on seeing me so soon again, huh? Oo Well I can't blame you, school, work and all, keeps me sleepy, mostly moody and awfully busy. I do hope however, that you are finding the story to your liking. This chapter was twenty-two pages and not so bad a cliffhanger ne?

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I might have used a couple of Japanese words you don't know and I did try to avoid much of that in the story but there are just some things that don't sound right to me in English. So for reference purposes:

baka: stupid, idiot

bokken: wooden sword; Kaoru's weapon of choice (also called _bokutou_)

busu: ugly, hag; Yahiko's name for Kaoru

futon: a thin Japanese mattress that is rolled up for the day

gi: jacket-style top

gomen nasai: I'm sorry

hakama: loose pleated pants that tie in front

maa, maa: now, now (Kenshin's basic phrase when trying to break up a domestic argument)

onmitsu: loosely translated, means "ninja"

sake: Japanese rice wine

Toushi (is the name of the bar, Kenshin visits): the kanji, written together to form this word, means "fighting spirit"

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Author's Note:

The beginning of this chapter as I explained in the small notes of the other one, finishes up the day. I think it quite thoroughly explains that what Kenshin saw (in the last clip, with Aoshi, Sano and Misao) was all just a dream. One he could not awaken from and from which we later learn; he keeps no recollection off. Strangely enough, it's not just the dream he can't remember but the whole rest of day. Including his little encounter with Hano, which Kaoru begs Yahiko not to tell.

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Small Notes:

When Kenshin wakes up again, it's sometime before dawn. The sky is dark and the rain still heavy outside when he notices Kaoru casually coiled around him. His first thoughts automatically go through the recall process of events that might have happened before.

He realizes quickly it can't be the same night because their clothing has changed, they're not in her room and he should still be wet. He's confused and dizzy, with not way to explain why he can only recall the day of the river.

However perplexed he has become, the desire to have her is still strong, so much so, he reiterates; he cannot be with her. Even if he questions the truth of his statement, Kenshin leaves, feeling another dizzying spell as he reaches the porch.

Time and nightmares have worn Kenshin thin, perhaps a little more than he realizes. Which can be easily read in his actions not only towards others but in the way he's tried to settle things within himself.

Kenshin's chosen haven is not the river, which as we all know is where he goes to meditate on life's most concerning issues. Instead, he goes to the last place you'd expect the rurouni to go. A bar, which is strange in it by itself. But something else is askew, and it becomes apparent when: 1) he doesn't try to hide his face and 2) he finds it amusing his presence alone, can still cause a spike of fear in others. Yet through it all, you can't be sure when Kenshin's Kenshin and when he's not because since the nightmares began, specifically in the last week, Kenshin's eyes have been shifting color nonstop.

In the mean time, morning dawns, Kaoru stirs and for the life of her can't figure out where the hell, Kenshin's gone. He knows better she thinks. Fuming as she looks for either him or Yahiko through the house. No good for nothing freeloaders, are her thoughts when she stumbles into Yahiko coming from the outhouse.

When asked about Kenshin, Yahiko has no idea where the poor rurouni might have gone. He assumes, Kaoru calmed him down, put him to bed before returning to her own. As they interact, he realizes they're getting wet, he tells her this and for some reason, the small comment leads them into an argument.

Of course, it's when they're threatening each other that Kenshin walks in on them, perplexed by the shifting, nervous ki they're both unknowingly vibrating.

His reaction again is not typical. No, "maa, maa, Kaoru-dono, let sessha calm you down--" speech. He isn't even aware of them been soaking wet until she interrupts his thoughts.

In a flash then the old Kenshin returns, at least momentarily, her injury seems to set something off in him which causes him to withdraw. Not completely but enough for it to become apparent when Kaoru confronts him about his behavior about _always_ being sorry and Kenshin not denying it.

And yet, the rurouni isn't gone. He chases after Kaoru, trips on his own two feet (after a sudden dizzy feeling) and offers to cook her lunch.

His one word response: "No." was short, cold and to the point. It's no wonder Kaoru wanted to make sure who'd she'd spoken to. Since as of late, despite been naïve and quite the innocent, Kaoru is anything but stupid.

Kenshin knows this, maybe even fears it a little. Whatever his usual reaction might have been is suddenly replaced by frustration. The anger which the hitokiri banked in closely has been resurfacing again though it isn't until now, that he realizes this along with a few other things. 1) The anger, which should have been the hitokiri's and his alone, has resurfaced without him turning into Battousai. 2) His thoughts are tainted still, though in what form has yet to be deciphered. 3) Lastly, it is everyone else's belief, Jineh's especially that drives him away. Because an hitokiri will always be an hitokiri, isn't something he could deny. Not to himself, certainly not then.

His need for a little space however, has great repercussions, not only have there been two attempts on Kaoru's life now. But both seemed to be driven by the same motivating factor.

That damn newspaper article, practically told anyone who could read, where Kenshin lived. What he valued most and what he might do to get it back.

The way the bandit spoke to Kaoru, assuming her fiery temper; "is why he may like you so much." Is a direct link, to the article and as well why he'd come. His retrieval of that something valueble however seems to go horribly wrong. Yahiko won't let her go without a fight, while Kaoru refuses him to lay a finger on Yahiko when all he wants is her as a hostage.

His interaction with them suggests, little, to no scouting at all, of the intended victim which could possibly be the determining factor in his failure to kidnap her from the dojo. He never thought to think ahead, he didn't prepare for any possibilities. He most certainly didn't anticipate Yahiko waking up and calling to all four winds for Kenshin to come.

Though surely, that must have been what he sensed. Why else would he have left in such a hurry? Someone's ki scared him off. Though whose, we can't be certain of. Just as we can't be certain of who he ran into at the end, all he saw was a man with long dark hair and in the rain, beneath darkening skies, that could be just about anyone in sight.

I want to thank everyone for reading. Please, don't forget to review.


	7. And Scent Arises

Usual disclaimer--Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through this website or my own.

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CHAPTER SEVEN: The scent arises

Even in a tumble of rain, shielded by an overgrown crown of thick heavy branches, the snap of bones echoed like a twig beneath a boulder. As Hano's neck bent, falling at an odd angle as his body hit the ground—the figure of a man approached, veiled by the surrounding darkness as he sat on his haunches, tightening a noose around a now limp neck before slowly easing back. Straightening with fluid grace as he almost casually tossed a rope overhead, aim nothing short of perfect, as it coiled around a branch that little by little helped him lift the body. Blank of all emotion, as he decidedly secured the rope around a stodgier-still form; using one against the other, to keep them off the ground, forevermore silent, in a forest that an all too many thought as haunted—hidden deep among the foliage would ensure _no one_ ever came across them, at least not until it was all too late . . .

Silently, the figure left the forest grounds, dirt and blood washing off as he stepped out into the rain, ki spiked in degrees by the maddening turn of events. As he smiled, in his own twisted way, face upturned towards the sky beneath a veil of dark wet hair; a sick parody of a caress coiled around him as a lock of hair curled around his neck, the memory of the rurouni coming to mind as he had watched _her_ from afar—eyes distant as the wind had curved around her, hair outstretched towards him invitingly as he had lingered near the yard . . .

He _knew_ better than most probably, how easily she could turn the rurouni back into what he'd been. And yet, it was a wonder, really, if she even knew that at all. She could do it more easily and more calmly than any of his known foes and still, manage to keep him under control.

Why she chose not too, perplexed him still—at least to some extent, she seemed to prefer him weak, willing to forgive and loath to let him kill; _to show them all whom they knew him to be_—the rurouni had done well to find himself someone sweet, keen to let him be, like he couldn't _always_ pretend to be . . .

All the same, one or two more men still had to die. The rurouni was not so far gone but no amount of pleading would ever bring him back, he thought, eyes still closed beneath matted locks. The beginnings of smile curving his small mouth, as a familiar ki bounced off his own; a dark wash of anger, echoing distantly as he headed towards his home. Silent as a shadow as he shot over a wall and into the dojo yard, straight on through and over the other wall as he led him back home.

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It was sprinkling, when he arrived. Dark heavy clouds moving through the sky like origami swans on a moving pond, flowing like the familiar scent of dirt and trees, whispering of gentle flowers—like they did the faintest trace of blood. Familiar in the way a fading ki stirred the echoes in his mind, inevitable and as unavoidable as the rising scent emerging from his thoughts. Danger so palpable, he could taste it on his tongue. He was _not_ calm, by any means, the anger he'd felt brewing in his blood before he'd left; only intensified as he looked around the yard. Catching traces of a scent and Yahiko in what appeared to be the middle of cleaning up.

"Yahiko," Kenshin called, surprising the youth, who dropped his broom. "What happened here?"

"Kenshin?" The youth asked, surveying the wet dirt beneath their feet with such anxiety, Kenshin's gaze refocused on his face.

"What happened?" He growled, as bits of anger slipped past his tightly held control, the young boy paled, eyes wide as they stared, transfixed by the changing shade of his eyes.

"Are . . . you _alright_?" Yahiko asked voice low and un-provoking, a slight nervousness in his limbs, the only indication of his fright.

Kenshin understood his mistake; "Who—" He asked, voice carefully tempered to something recognizable— "Was it?"

"I don't know. I mean no one we know." Yahiko said. Wary eyes cast on his blank face.

He understood and nodded, taking it in strides and truth, for the time being. "What happened?" He asked, able to pull on the rurouni mask briefly through his anger.

"There was . . . a thieve," the youth began, nervously eyeing the front door before breaking eye contact all together and strategically looking away, "He was . . ." Mumbling, trying to put off the inevitable for as long as he could.

"What?" Kenshin prompted, sharply taking him by the arm and forcing his eyes to meet him.

"He hurt Kaoru." He admitted and almost immediately regretted his choice of words. Kenshin's face grew pale, faded violet eyes turning silver-blue of their own accord as he let him go.

"Wait!" He called, running after the rurouni as he rushed into the house. Afraid Kaoru might kill him if she found out what he'd said had been the reason Kenshin went on a rampage. "Kenshin wait," he pleaded, hurriedly chasing after him—"Wait!" As Kaoru's shoji snapped open, Yahiko stopped, slowly taking in a breath before stepping in front of Kenshin as he stepped out of the room. "He slapped her." He corrected, eyes, imploring him to understand his mistake. "It was just a thieve Kenshin. He somehow knew you weren't at home and thought it'd be easy to take . . . whatever." He hedged, "When we surprised him, he didn't think we'd fight back. But we did and he hit us, that's all."

"What do you mean he knew—" Kenshin began only to pause mid-word, head slightly cocked to the side as his eyes narrowed. "That can't be—" because, who had he chased home then, he thought, blinking past his anger to rethink his statement.

"No one else has been here?"

"No," the boy answered, expression furrowed in concern as he gazed at him.

"You didn't _see_ anyone else?"

"No," he assured, watching the rurouni nod to himself, before blinking back the odd expression off his face.

"Where's Kaoru-dono?" He asked, face and voice, gentle as he gazed around them, genuine concern, masking every crevice of his expression.

"She's taking a bath. She should be done soon." The youth offered, suddenly trailing off, as really looked at Kenshin and the floor around them. "Kenshin," he groaned. "We've dragged water inside . . . And you, you went into her room. She's gonna kills us," he whined, shoulders drooping theatrically as he looked around them in despair; making Kenshin smile, despite the situation.

"Sessha will take care of it, that he will." He reassured, flashing a small rurouni smile at the youth before gesturing him away. "Go and get yourself changed," he ordered, "before Kaoru-dono sees you."

"Ok," he nodded, beginning to walk away when he paused suddenly. Dark brown eyes, narrowed once more as he glanced at the rurouni. "She was really worried, you know . . . because of your fever and all. She's going to want to know where you were." He warned, hinting enough for Kenshin to understand and nod his head.

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He was in the kitchen, setting out their evening meal when he sensed her light approach. Her worry and anger, permeated the air like then scent of jasmine often did the end of spring. He was glad, at least, that he'd had some time to calm down since he'd gotten home. Think about how things had been and admit that though he'd being terribly confused about certain recent events, his leaving here earlier hadn't been one of them. He had no valid excuse to offer her, he thought, feeling his heart grow small at the imagined repercussion, his thoughtlessness might have incurred.

As Kaoru walked in, dark blue eyes, cast around him and his surrounding, he felt her resolve begin to waver; a flow of concern overtaking the anger that had once surrounded her. "Kenshin?" She asked, pitching her voice low as she came a little closer. "Are you alright?" She wondered, nearing him enough to smell but not quite enough to touch. "I was worried . . ." She trailed off, eyes suddenly drawn to his hands and the tight hold he had on the knife.

"Sessha's fine," he assured, easing off the death grip on the blade before slowly turning back, eyes, a dark constructed purple that looked genuine enough.

"You aren't supposed to leave like that when you're ill, you know."

"Sumimasen," he apologized. "Sessha did not mean to worry you, that he did not."

"You didn't even take your medicine Kenshin. You just left. You could have ended up seriously sick, do you even understand that?"

"Aa," he nodded, meeting her eyes for the first time and almost wishing he hadn't. "Kaoru-dono. Please—"

_Don't cry over me_, he thought, closing the space between them and brushing a thumb across her cheek, slowly drying off a trail of tears before moving to the next.

"Kenshin," Kaoru winced, moving away from him as his hand touched the bruise on her face.

"Don't," he warned, taking a firm hold of her chin as he tilted her face.

He meant _only_ to see the bruise, to be reminded of the consequences of his actions once again before he let her go . . . The gesture wasn't meant to mean anything more but his anger was still too close. Always so fucking close to the surface now, he didn't often realize a slip of the tongue or gesture here and there that might remind someone from his past, of who he'd been.

"Kenshin . . ."

His eyes weren't muted; some part of him recognized this and understood her hesitation. They weren't quite the color she was used to. They were too light for the rurouni and yet not quite the color she had seen when Saitou had been here last. He wasn't in any type of battle so he knew the only shade possible resembled something like a pale lavender.

"Are you worried," she asked, making no move to touch him or in any way move her head—just, watched him. Carefully noting the way his eyes narrowed, with an interest he suddenly found uncomfortable.

"No," he lied, pulling away completely before turning back around, continuing the task at hand in the type of silence that suddenly made it wrong for her to be there and still, she did not leave.

"Kenshin?" She called, tentatively moving to the side, edging close but never close enough—not anymore, he thought, sighing inwardly as she stopped near his arm.

"Where did you go?"

He had known she would ask almost from the moment he had realized where he'd ended up. He knew he would have to give her some type of response, she needed an explanation or she would worry otherwise. And as it had proven to be true in the past, anything that made her unhappy, made him unhappy. No other way around it though he knew, even if he didn't like the fact, he owned her an explanation.

"Kenshin?"

"Kaoru-dono," he began, composing enough of himself, to string her name together with the honorific. "Sessha just needed sometime . . . to _think_, about things." He hedged, distantly aware of the tremor that ran along her limbs.

"Things?" She repeated, furrowing further into a frown. "What kinds of—" _Things_, is what she had meant ask but instead she paused, tensing in a way he could feel in his heart—the fear that seemed to be pooling in her eyes, he knew, even without turning, he knew what it was she feared. "You're not leaving . . ."

"No," he assured, interrupting her mid word as he finally turned around again. Surprised suddenly by the angry determination he found staring back at him. And he couldn't help but wonder then, if briefly, had he not interrupted her so soon, would he have found out 'that statement' hadn't really been about to be turned into a question.

"Then . . . I don't understand."

"Kaoru-dono . . . It's nothing." He said, offering her a small waning smile. "Sessha just . . . There's a lot going on—" he explained, without really having to explain at all—"with the fires and reports of people missing," he trailed off, watching her expression suddenly change.

"But that kind of stuff happens all the time." She reasoned, watching him a lot more closely than he would have liked. "Wait—have the police been by here already?"

"No," he denied, quickly shaking his head. "Kaoru-dono—sessha's not involved . . ."

"Really," she asked, not bothering to hide the disbelief, he knew, she was entitled to have. But at the same time, he couldn't help but become mad.

"Really," he echoed back, eyes flickering in annoyance when she suddenly sighed, light moisture gathered on her lashes as she turned away from him, intent on walking away when he reached for her.

"Oi! Kaoru?" Yahiko yelled, coming into the room just as Kenshin dropped his hand, releasing a bit of her sleeve as they both turned around to face him.

"Kenshin," he sighed, exasperation clear in his tone as he stopped beneath the doorway; "Is dinner almost done?"

"Aa," Kenshin replied, moving away from Kaoru again without a backwards glance. Feeling her eyes on him only a moment longer before she abandoned him once more, turning her back on him as he had hoped she would—_just_ never imagined, she actually would.

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There were a lot of things in this world he could never admit to not understand. But, Kenshin's behavior, he knew wasn't one of them. He was sure, he didn't understand at all, he thought, eyeing Kaoru closely as Kenshin took his seat. Silent as a statue as he regarded her a second before looking down, mouth stretched tight, as he began to eat. Saying nothing to either of them as he drew himself in, indifference stretched so tight against his skin, the air grew cold with it.

He seemed angry, Yahiko thought, glancing up casually as Kaoru took a bite, blinking back tears in such an unmistakable fashion. He wondered why Kenshin had yet to notice. He never let her cry; it was the one thing he always seemed to avoid. Always ready to remedy too, if someone else had being the cause, which it hardly ever was since Megumi had gone.

A sudden draft through the house made Kenshin pause, dark eyes narrowed to warning slits as he looked away from his bowl.

"Where are you going?" Kaoru snapped, setting her bowl down with clank as Kenshin stood, back stiff, as he looked out towards the door.

"There's someone here." He began, when Kaoru's abrupt rise behind, made him turn.

"Yahiko can get the door."

"No," he broke off, in a steady, serious tone that left no room for argument.

"Fine," Kaoru replied, walking past him before he could grab her hand.

"Kaoru-dono." He called back, hesitating only a second before going after her. Yahiko following closely behind got there just as Chief Uramura entered through the front. Surprising a look of panic on Kenshin's face for a second before it vanished and was replaced instead, with the steady look he'd worn inside.

"Uramura-dono," he greeted voice strangely deep, as they regarded him.

"Himura-dono," the chief replied, walking past and angry Kaoru, who snapped the shoji closed. "I'm so glad you're home."

'_Where else would he be_,' Yahiko wondered, trailing behind Kenshin as he led them back towards the table. Taking his earlier seat, as Kaoru offered the chief the same along with a bit of tea.

"I'm sorry to trouble you like this," the chief apologized, looking honestly troubled by his interruption but—"Hamada Shouko, the only eyewitness in the Kunii House Fires has gone missing."

"Missing?" Yahiko echoed, looking stupidly at the chief as Kaoru glanced at him.

"What fires?" She asked, looking a lot more perplexed then Yahiko suddenly felt.

"The fires in Yokohama," the chief explained, setting down his cup of tea as he noticed their blank expression. "It's been in all the papers. Every one of the Kunii publishing houses has been set on fire. Always past midnight though, so there have been no more casualties other than—"

"Takomoyo Senishi," Yahiko thought, looking startled when the chief replied;

"Yes, actually. He was their star reporter."

"Yahiko, how did you know that?" Kaoru demanded, looking a little lost and lot concerned as she gazed at him.

"I . . ." He had meant to tell her, he thought, about the newspaper and everything he'd found out but, then they'd had their little tea session and he had realized that she might not even care. At least, not in the usual way most people did because, well, simply put, she loved them—loved _him_, it seemed beyond the usual limitations placed on that emotion.

"What does this have to do with your visit . . ." Kenshin asked, adding the chief's name almost as an after thought when Kaoru frowned at him.

"Aa," the chief nodded. "I was getting to that." He said, pausing for second on his thoughts before looking back at Kenshin. "He was being moved to a safe house here in Tokyo, you see. Fugita-sama had thought it best if we kept him out of harms way. But something happened along the way. His escort arrived at the station a couple of hours ago and . . ." He shrugged, almost imperceptibly. "They had similar blows to the back of the head. They don't remember what happened, exactly. But they do remember having seeing something through the rain, something like a shadow." He sighed, watching Kenshin with something like unraveling disgrace. "They're very vague on the details, I'm afraid. Dr. Genzai was surprised they even remembered as much as they did."

"Your captain, Fugita?" Kaoru asked, looking a little worried as no reaction crossed Kenshin's face.

"He was on assignment in Yokohama when the newspaper burned to the ground. But he hasn't checked in since he assigned Hamada to Tokyo."

"That doesn't mean his missing," Yahiko argued, watching Kenshin as he nodded in assent, a small rurouni smile flickering across his face.

"Saitou is anything if not resourceful," he added, unconsciously gripping the hilt of his sword before, blinking back some emotion he didn't want known. "He's fine."

"Himura-dono?"

"Sessha," he asserted, "Is sure, he followed your men home, hoping perhaps, for your assailant to show up. When he did, Saitou would have simply have had only to wait for your men to be knocked out before moving in to finish the job himself."

"But Hamada-dono—if he ran away during the fight, he could still be out there, wandering around in circles. Please, Himura-dono, you have to help us find him—Fugita-sama, always said, if we needed help to come and find you." He implored, bowing down respectively towards Kenshin whose expression, showed very little of his thoughts.

"What did you want him to do?" Kaoru asked voice deceptively low as Kenshin finally glanced at her.

"We need him to track down Hamada-dono and bring him to the station. If he's been . . . silenced, indefinitely, Himura-dono can at least tell us what kind of man to be on the look out for."

"I still don't understand why Saitou would bring him here though?" Yahiko asked, regarding the chief a little more suspiciously then Kaoru ever had. "I mean he's a Shinsen-gumi captain and all, he could have just guarded him-himself right?"

"It is not for us to question our superiors," the chief snapped back, looking aggrieved by even the suggestion of it. "We do as we are told, besides battou . . ." he trailed off, looking seriously guilty for a moment as he avoided Kenshin's suddengaze.

He knew, as he knew everything else when it came to an opponent; Hamada had been moved on Saitou's orders. He had wanted the killer and had moved him to Tokyo to draw him out. Knowing full well that somewhere along the way, Kenshin himself would become involved, because Kenshin wasn't just Kenshin to Saitou. He was Battousai. And hitokiri's and nemesis, that is, assassins and killers, always had the same kinds of thoughts . . .

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In the waning light, moving quietly into the room—"I think Hamada is dead." Yahiko confided. Surprising Kaoru enough to set the teapot on the counter before it slipped from her hands. As she turned to gaze at him, pale and concerned, he shrugged his shoulders, radiating distress like steam came off a train.

"Why would you say that?"

Yahiko sighed, glancing anxiously behind them before meeting her gaze. "A couple of days ago," he confessed. "When I went to run an errand for Tae, I went to Yokohama. I was getting back to the train, when a man dropped his paper. In the background, the newspaper boy kept yelling on about the fire in which that reporter died. How they thought it was an undercover official, you know. Someone working for the government, who'd silenced him for what he knew or wrote, I'm not sure." He paused, swallowing perceptibly before—

"The people gathered around kept whispering, something about a witness, they didn't believe too reliable. He had seen the person who'd set the fire but only in passing, from a distance and he'd already had too much to drink, so—" He shrugged again.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You've been sort of worried, already, with Sano leaving and Kenshin getting sick, I didn't want to make it worse."

At this, Kaoru frowned. "Why would you think this would make it worse?"

"Hamada—" Yahiko began, stumbling over his next words, "He couldn't have been that close but he said . . . He assumed, that because of his long hair and sword—"

"Yahiko," she interrupted, closing the distance between them, until there wasn't any room left at all when she finally kneeled in front of him. "Is this why you were asking me about Shigeru?" She asked, holding his face as he nodded. "And did you think; I would automatically assume it was Kenshin, if I read that paper?"

When he nodded again, Kaoru sighed. "You're still young Yahiko and I know there are things you don't always understand but you can believe me when I say you can trust me, trust Kenshin." She told him, smiling a little before brushing a hand through his hair. "I wouldn't have believed some speculation in a newspaper simply because it sounded plausible."

"I know," Yahiko admitted. "But they really made it sound like it might be him, you know."

"It wouldn't have mattered." She said, rising to her feet as she heard the front gate close. "I know Kenshin." She whispered. Smoothing the front of her dress before putting away the teapot she had washed. "I am however, curious about this article. Do you still have it?"

"Aa," Yahiko replied, leaving to fetch the article when Kaoru called him back.

"Yahiko," she stopped, motioning him to be quite as the figure of Kenshin began to near. "Will you do me a favor and just show me tomorrow."

"Sure," he replied, catching Kenshin's eye as came inside. "Night, Kenshin. Night, Kaoru."

"Goodnight," they replied, watching the youth for a second longer before turning back towards one another. As an awkward silence fell between them, Kaoru looked away. "Did he say anything else?" She asked, turning back around as she continued to wash a cup.

"No," he whispered, coming a little closer to the basin as she moved to put away her cup.

"Sessha can do the rest Kaoru-dono. You can go to bed . . . If you like," he added, not sure what it was he meant to offer but—"Saitou can handle this on his own." He said, feeling her pause behind him as he continued to wash a dish. "He has to be nearby."

"Maybe so but I don't want to keep you from helping someone else."

"But you worry," he argued, keeping his back to her as he washed another dish.

"I will always worry." She said, sighing deeply before she turned around to leave again. "Do what you must." She whispered, "Just be careful."

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Her response wasn't cold, not by far; she had bid him to take care after all. But being _allowed_ to go anywhere on his own, chafed violently against some part of him because his temper elevated with her retort. _Do what you must_—like she didn't care enough to stop him anymore, he thought. Breaking the teacup in his hand, with such undeniable strength he could only blink back a bemused expression as the basin water began to be tainted red.

She hadn't even noticed his hand, he thought, squeezing the shards still enclosed before letting them go. Sighing inwardly as he picked up a nearby towel, he used to wrap around his hand, noting at last, the silence that had descended upon the household. And he couldn't help but wonder; how long he had spent out here in the kitchen tonight; thinking of her and _not_ Uramura's comments.

He had to help; she had said in none too many words. He had to help—without the worry of her going out after her him. _He_ had _to help_ because that's what rurouni Kenshin did, he thought. Picking up the basin and taking it out to the yard, tossing out the water with a hard splash that echoed in the silence of the yard.

It wasn't raining anymore and the distinct smell of blood in the water he'd just tossed aside, suffused his lungs immediately, brining back the old anger and resentment for a surrounding, that for a brief second, blurred to something more. Something known and familiar, almost, like the resonance of metal, like the color of his eyes and a distinctive battle cry, that echoed like the roar of dragons.

He could not let go. She wouldn't let him. No matter how hard he tried, to keep himself a safe distance away now—she was there, insinuated into his everything thought, like poison. Like death, he welcomed with closed eyes and open arms, because he wanted it _so much_, he ached to breathed without it another moment longer.

He wanted—too much now. He could feel it. When he looked at her and her attention wavered to something else, something in him uncoiled, made his blood run cold until something in his gestures or his words, brought her attention back to him. And he knew, because some small part of him had to know, he wanted her for himself, despite what he'd said and what he'd promised, despite that and the clear foreknowledge of his worth; he could not give her up.

He wanted her like her wanted dark _things_ now. Things he had never let himself think before because he imagined; well, _things_, he thought. Smiling without humor at the dark skies above his head, clouds so dark a blue now, he sighed with something like regret before he carefully set the basin down. Jumping from his spot to the top of the wall with hardly an effort he cared to spare a thought for. Sensing for something like movement before he jumped down off the wall and headed—_not home_ but away . . . from his thoughts, those tears, and dark angry eyes now because he couldn't help but lie.

It didn't matter that he lied to himself. He had for years on end and it had never bothered him once. He could still smile and laugh and pretend everything else around him was just fine because that's what this mask had afforded him to do. It had let him pretend, he realized, when everything had not been all right.

With something like hopeless blossoming in his chest, Kenshin continued down the empty road, thoughts turning over Kaoru's lack of concern as his subconscious carried him to Sano's favorite place. And again, for the second time in almost two days now, he didn't realized where he was until he found himself already seated inside, tucked into a corner of the bar with sake and anger, going bitter down his throat. Isolated by a wash of anger so strong, he could feel others sense his ki. And yet—

'Him . . . _the Hitokiri Battousai_, someone scoffed. _Please, his wife must have tossed him out for not getting the job done, just look at him . . ._'

They laughed, fastening his attention so quickly, Kenshin's head snapped around to meet them. Watching clear dread wash over unknown features as Kenshin set his drink aside, turning his body towards them with carefully, measured slowness.

Face and mind, blank alike as all emotion was replaced by this sudden burning hatred that licked at his skin like ShiShio's flames had almost once engulfed him.

"Hi-Himura-dono," the bartender called. "Please, please not in the bar." He begged, calling from afar as others turned to watch.

Watched as pale violet eyes, became a distinctive autumn tint of gold, burnished like brilliant colored diamonds as he gripped the hilt of his sword.

"During the Bakumatsu," he said, voice deep and smooth like silver—"Men were killed in the street for a lot less than that."

"Himura-dono, _please_."

"Fine," he agreed, reluctantly moving his hand from the hilt of his blade before turning towards the door. "_Bring_ them _outside_."

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Well, this is much shorter chapter than I had hoped. It's only 19 pages long. But I hope, at least to have made it worth your while.

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Author's Note: (Well, what can I say without giving myself away, huh? Especially with the opening scene. Let see . . .)

Since the beginning there has been something or someone, the rurouni cannot sense. And at first, he attributed all this strange little happenings to someone, he knew shadowed his every step. But as the days to Enishi's Jinchuu have begun to draw from ten on down, Kenshin has begun to sleep less and less, sometimes, going only with an hours worth of sleep before a nightmare wrestles him from his slumber.

Eating, less and less, until it's reached the point, where he completely skips over meals now, wearing himself so ragged; a transition of personalities has slowly begun. Without notice, Kenshin temperament flies off the handle, swinging as wild as a pendulum—when he becomes angry, and it's so quick to happen now, he reacts without thinking. Lashing out at anything or anyone, he might think is provoking him; as is evident in the yard, when he first arrives.

(Continuing from the last chapter . . .) Very near the end of lunch, Kenshin left because he became extremely angry. And wonder of all wonders, he ended up at Toushi's (If you recall, that's Sano favorite bar.), where the bartender, seems to recall Kenshin being not just the savior of his bar but also, the legendary Hitokiri Battousai. Now . . .

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Small Notes: There is something, like a shadow of a man, with long-dark hair and a samurai sword carried at his side, which many have begun to think is Kenshin as Battousai. (This chapter's no different).

In the beginning scene, this shadowed-figure, is seen to be disposing himself of two individuals. Individuals, who have by the way, been a rather great nuisance to Kenshin, himself—and so one would think, it's got to be him.

Only, he can't chase himself, can he?

When Kenshin arrives back home, he's already angry, because not only has he not been able to shake it off from before but now someone else's invaded his home. He had sensed someone close. And when he arrives, not only does he find this to be true, there was indeed someone willing to come in to his home but they also dared enough to hit Kaoru, and that is something even the gentlest part of him can't forgive.

After a brief misunderstand Yahiko quickly runs to correct, Kenshin is left alone for sometime to ponder over the day's events. Eventually, he makes his way to the kitchen to begin dinner, which is where Kaoru finds him. And at first, it seems like it will be a typical fight, with the rurouni getting knocked out for being a complete idiot but all that halts mid-motion. As something about Kenshin stance, beckons Kaoru's patience.

Questioning and chiding him, have almost no affect on the rurouni but as Kaoru tries to move away, something in Kenshin instinctively changes. His answers become sharp and short, as do the movements of his hands. But Kaoru hardly takes any notice, between his closeness and the firm, hold of her face. Kaoru doesn't dare move. It isn't until his eyes begin to change color, that she recognizes something in his features; some type of sign or feeling, Kenshin catches himself displaying. And pulls back, making both him and her angry with evasive answers, she can't stand to have tossed at her like she's an idiot. It's why she leaves.

And though Kenshin-himself had wanted her to leave, when she does, he completely misinterprets her departure. Becoming angry once more, as dinner is set and served.

Yahiko knows something happened, during dinner, Kaoru keeps trying to blink back tears while Kenshin, he just can't understand because the rurouni would never just let her cry. But Kenshin does, never looking up, as Yahiko keeps glancing between the two of them, wondering what could have gone wrong when he notices Kenshin has suddenly stiffened.

Angry outburst and clipped retorts make no difference in the end. Kaoru opens the door, only to find Chief Uramura looking for Kenshin to help them with a case.

And at last, the witness is revealed. However unreliable, Hamada Shoujuko might be, Saitou had wanted him out of harms way, for what purpose, is yet to be seen. As Uramura explains, it is not for them to question their superiors. But to do as they are told. And in this instance, seeing as how he needs help and Saitou had once suggested it, he goes in search of the only reliable help he can find.

It is both interesting and unfortunate that once Yahiko had decided not to tell Kaoru about the newspaper clipping, someone else would bring it to her attention. And in the end, as Kenshin walks Chief Uramura to gates, he takes the time to come completely clean.

Despite earlier emotions, Kaoru's very understanding of the situation. Knowing when to press him and when to coax him. It is only Kenshin's inevitable return to the kitchen that keeps Kaoru from reading that damn article, which up until now, had gone unnoticed by both alike. All thoughts of him are quickly suspended however, as he offers her something, she doesn't immediately grasp because though he offers her a type of choice. She doesn't understand. He doesn't word it in way she will understand.

What he says, is— "Saitou can handle this on his own." As he feels her pause behind him, he admits, he knows, "He has to be nearby." And while these statements are both open to interpretation, there is one correlation that should be visible to all; he offers to stay out of it, to turn his back on Uramura and everyone else to with it, for her.

But Kaoru won't let him. Her rurouni helps people and she would never stand in the way of him doing that. No matter how she loves, Kaoru isn't selfish. She would never knowingly keep him from doing something; she knew he needed to do.

And so she says, "Do what you must—"

Which he completely misreads as a lack of concern, of her giving up once and for all, on anything to do with him. And still, he's going to help Uramura because it's what she's asked him to do because he could bare almost anything in this world but her disappointment. He could not, simply said, because he could never let her go.  
And it becomes clear once and for all that our Kenshin might not be Kenshin anymore. Because though he admits, he could never let her go. She is perceived something like poison. Like death, he gladly welcomes. Because he knows, he wants her. And all those dark thoughts, what the rurouni imagines bad thoughts, are nothing more Kaoru filled images, reciprocating a simple touch.

But even then, he knows he turns his back on her because the truth of what he feels and what he senses are all twisted up inside him, driving a needling frustration he can't control—his patience has long since dwindled to threads and cobwebs, and without it, Kenshin can only remember a passing resentment that always goads him back to anger.

And it is in anger that Kenshin finds himself back Toushi's. Somewhat blank on how he got there or how long it's been, but he drinks, choking on the bitter taste of his emotions, as whispers of his appearance run through the bar.

It is in the worst possible moment then that a couple of men, began to make fun of him, provoking a reaction, he-himself probably isn't even aware of. But needless to say, he will soon, make them regret.

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Thank you for reading and please, don't forget to review.


	8. Drowning Screams

Usual disclaimer--Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through this website or my own.

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CHAPTER EIGHT: Drowning Screams

It was cold and dark and ever so bleak when he awoke. It was odd; it didn't come with a start. Only a bit of a neck ache he realized, as he slowly rose off the floor. Wondering at what point during the night he had fallen asleep and in the kitchen no less, he thought, rubbing a hand to the back of his neck as he worked at a small kink that seemed reluctant to go away. As he turned, ready to take that first step away, the cold wet part of his hakama skimmed against his leg, freezing him a moment as he tried to recall the previous night's events but for all his endeavor, he could only remember a fuzzy image of what had taken place. Undoubtedly, coming home—he knew, he remembered _something_ of a scent, Yahiko cleaning up the yard as well Kaoru no where near his line of sight.

But as he took a look around, a deep seeded worry, blooming in his heart now; he remembered Uramura coming here late last night—waiting patiently to have a word alone with him before trying to explain things to an upset Kaoru. Only she had walked away . . . And the image of that, takes time, he realizes as does the reason for their discord, as it gradually fades to the forefront of his thoughts, sinking into memory like something said years ago—Kenshin blinks. Feeling the edges of last night's anger, well out of his blood but his thoughts, are something like confusion, he can't shake off—not when he had watched her walk away from him and thought; she must have not cared.

And it takes only a moment now to realize the absurdity of that thought, which is in such disaccord with how he feels and _knows_ Kaoru to be, that he can't fathom, how he ever came to think such a thing. Especially since Kaoru was by far the most unselfish being he'd ever had the grace to meet. How he could think any less . . .

He didn't understand—he could remember almost everything about last night _except_ actually going to bed. And that, he would admit, bothered him more than just a little because through out everything, he had thought the one thing he could always at least count on, was remembering when he'd gone to bed . . . It was the waking up in different parts of town that had worried him there a while but . . .

He sighed, suddenly too exhausted by his thoughts. Disturbed maybe even a little by the lack of coherent attention he seemed to have in regards to a misplaced recollection, as all but a sliver of last night's events ended with Kaoru walking away.

It wasn't until then though, that it finally occurred to him, that Kaoru _had_ indeed gone to bed upset and as he walked away, maneuvering through the halls with his trademark-rurouni guilt shadowing his every step—he could only _think_ of how he'd left her all alone, allowing her to cry over him when he _knew_ he didn't deserve such tears. He was honest enough with himself to admit he didn't deserve anything but her contempt. His behavior these last few months was deplorable. But he just couldn't seem to act another way. He had to keep her at a distance and the only way he had been able to manage such a feat was by keeping himself detached. Finding any and all excuses to keep himself coolly removed from the circle of her . . . warmth.

He was afraid. And yet afraid, didn't beginning to describe the emotion he felt fill him at the mere thought of her in pain; not as he slid the shoji open and not as he closed it behind him, entering her room with soundless steps until he felt near enough to kneel besides her. Choking on emotions he could only see as guilt and regret—at the very sight of tears, already dried her ever youthful face—he slowly swallowed against his will.

"Sessha," he whispered, "Has failed you so much already—" he did not know what else to do, he knew no other way to be, not with his life so full of anger and regret and a guilt now so twisted by a demon like hate.

"Sessha is all but useless to you Kaoru-dono." So why she would even want him to remain with her was well beyond him. But—"At this point, it really doesn't matter anymore, does it? You don't want sessha to wonder off again, no matter how much better off you might be; you want sessha here . . ." he trailed off, sighing so deep, he felt her breath inside his lungs.

"Even when someone as lowly as sessha can turn his back on you," he murmured. "You refuse to do the same. Because you think—" _You want_ . . . "You want trust; in a way sessha cannot deceive himself enough to give, _not ever_." He warned both apologetically and with great regret. Watching Kaoru murmur in her slumber before drawing stray locks away, mouth set soft, as he traced a ghostlike caress against a tear stained face.

Perceptions ever twisted as he drew himself away, casting a soft glance at his Kaoru-dono before bidding her sweet dreams as he set off to cook her breakfast yet again, he promised, if just for today, for a couple of hours at least through out the day he would do everything he could to make it up to her.

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When Kaoru walked into the kitchen a few hours later, relatively calm and seemingly past harboring any real visible anger, everything she loved to eat for breakfast had been carefully laid about. A setting for two people had been placed on the table with piping hot tea steaming off a cup as Kenshin walked in from the opposite side.

"Good morning," he greeted, flashing a rurouni grin as she took her usual seat.

"Good morning," she greeted back, smiling largely as he took a seat beside hers. "Are you . . . feeling better?" She asked, deflecting her previous musings to an altogether different question.

"Aa," he answered back, voice smooth and gentle, if a little deeper than normal.

"Are you . . . I mean . . . What's this about?" She asked, flushing just a bit as he looked up from serving her a little rice.

"It isn't about anything Kaoru-dono. It's breakfast." He replied, smiling slightly as she nodded and began to eat.

"You look better," she announced, holding a bit of rice between her chopsticks as he regarded her. "I'm glad you listened to me about the medicine . . . You're fever might've not gone down without it, you know?"

"Aa," he replied, glancing away as her smile began to warm. It wasn't exactly lying, he thought. If he could remember where the medicine was he would take some later tonight, anything to keep her from worrying or even worse, crying herself to sleep again.

"Where's Yahiko?"

"At the Akabeko, he's promised to help Tae-dono for the next few days, that he has."

"Hmm," she replied, chewing thoughtfully on a carrot as he tilted his head. "We weren't really going to be doing anything important this week but I wished he'd have asked first." She told him, frowning just a little before shaking it off.

"He did. Sessha did not think you would mind Kaoru-dono."

"I don't," she quickly replied. "Your word is just as good as mine. It's just . . ." She shook her head. "He was going to show me something today but . . . it's not important." She said. Smiling brightly as confusion crossed his face. "It's ok," she soothed. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Alright," he conceded, wondering if he should believe her before inwardly shaking his head. "We're going to need some things for dinner later so—"

"I'll go with you," she interrupted. "I need a new ribbon and kimono for the upcoming winter, so this works out." She added flashing him a shy little smile before continuing the rest of her meal—making Kenshin wonder at the same time if anything out of the ordinary had indeed happened the previous night

He hoped it hadn't of course and he wanted to ask her but if he told her; then _she'd know_, he thought, feeling something like a slight dizziness momentarily tilt him forward as he gripped a corner of the bowl, forcibly slowing down his breath until it returned back to normal . . . And if he could admit it, feel the nagging little sense of something wrong, that things might actually be more complicated than they seemed. Or wanted them, he thought, exhaling a slow silent breath before continuing to pretend to eat in peace; taking only a couple of more bites before slowly rising, clearing off plates and bowls around him as Kaoru set her cup down slowly.

"Kenshin . . . Are you _alright_?"

"Aa," he answered, feeling the rurouni mask stretched tight against his features. "Sessha's just wondering what to make for dinner that he is." He lied, watching the unease melt from her eyes as he smiled again. "Will you get Yahiko's coat Kaoru-dono, he forgot to take it with him this morning that he did." He asked, gathering the rest of the things set out as she stepped away with a reassuring nod.

There was something wrong, he thought, that was quite apparent but as to what or why that was, he had no clue. He had but a sense of it, like the thrumming of his blood or echoes in his mind. It felt, almost, like emotion rolling of its own accord—like something he couldn't control. And it was strange he knew but he couldn't seem to shake it off. Though he did know, if he wasn't careful enough, Kaoru would soon begin to pick up on it.

And for the time being at least it would simply be better if he kept her distracted. Especially since he had yet to tell he wouldn't be home for dinner. The chief would be grateful obviously but _Kaoru_, he thought would not be very happy at all.

"Kenshin?"

"Oro," he replied, forcing the word out of his mouth as he dropped in the last of the dishes, making sure to splash himself just a bit before he turned around. Dark purples eyes looking perfectly startled.

"Gomen," she apologized, twisting the ends of Yahiko's coat as she tried to force back a rueful smile.

"It's all right." He soothed, turning around with a half smile on his face. "Sessha will do the dishes when we get back." He promised, drying his hands on a nearby towel before rolling down his sleeves. "We should head on out while it's early enough." He prompted. "It will rain again before the week ends and it would be nice not to get caught out in the rain today." He reasoned. Smiling a rurouni smile he was afraid she'd see as a little too forced.

"All right," she beamed, heading out ahead of him as he sighed in relief, worried despite reason over something he couldn't even begin to recall.

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When they'd stepped outside; quietly making their way down the road and into town. Kaoru would admit; she'd feared Kenshin might behave something like he had the last two times they'd been out together; which if memory served correctly had been terribly disastrous on all accounts both at the marketplace and later on with his confrontation of Hano in the alleyway.

It really was comforting to see him behaving like his usual self again she thought, watching him as he idly chatted with Kahto as he served them a share of tofu.

There had been nothing for her to worry about; really, she had been worried for not, she thought. Smiling as Kenshin made his way to her before they headed off to a little stand a couple of feet away.

"Do you know what color kimono you wish to buy Kaoru-dono?"

"I do," she responded, half glancing at him as the little shop came into view. "I've had it picked out for a while. I was just waiting to gather enough money to buy it." She told him, greeting the young woman waving at her hello: "Mika-chan."

"Kaoru-chan," the young girl greeted back, briefly casting eyes on Kenshin before smiling wider at Kaoru. "I was hoping you came by today. I know you'd picked out a green ribbon to go with your kimono but we happened to have gotten some in earlier today. And wouldn't you believe it." She told her excitedly—"But there's one that matches it exactly. I thought you might like that one better instead," she added, handing Kaoru a deep-blue silk package with a similarly wrapped ribbon around it, a splash of red, tainting the ends of it.

"It's beautiful," Kaoru breathed, touching the material fondly before suddenly blinking back a few persistent tears. "Thank you."

"Nothing a friend wouldn't do, Kaoru-chan."

"I really appreciate it though, thank you"  
"It's nothing, really. You're going to make me cry," Mika warned. "Get out of here and go enjoy the rest of your day ok."

"Ok," Kaoru beamed, turning around as one of the strangest expressions she had ever seen, flashed across his face.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru called, drawing him from his thoughts in the blink of an eye.

"It looks like a very nice kimono." He complimented, moving with a fluid grace that didn't quite register.

"I- it does."

"Aa," he nodded, voice soft and velvet smooth as he flashed her something like a smile Kaoru couldn't look away from. "Are you ready to go home?"

"Sure," she murmured, eyes cast stubbornly on the ground as something like a blush tainted her cheeks soft changing shades of red.

"Yahiko won't be home for dinner." He commented. Eyes alight on the road ahead as they began to make their way out of the market place.

"He won't be home too late though, will he?" _I worry_, she almost added, watching him a second before returning her gaze back towards the road. Eyes narrowing suddenly as a couple of men moved in front of them.

"_Where_ is _he_?" One accused, eyes dark and narrowed, as the wind ruffled his bangs away from his face. "_What_ did _you _do _with our friend_?"

"Friend?" Kaoru repeated, "What are you talking about?"

"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin warned, stepping slightly in front of her as one of the other two gripped his sword.

"Where is he?" The same man asked. "He disappeared sometime last night. And it had to be you. You followed us home!" He accused, waving a trebling finger he quickly withdrew. "You were pissed off enough cause we never came out of that damn bar. What did you to him?" He yelled.

"Kenshin was home last night." She informed him, moving slightly out from behind Kenshin to glare at the man. "Don't you dare accuse him of doing something so . . . So vile. Kenshin doesn't hurt people."

"I don't think I was talking to you," the man snapped, glaring daggers at her as she tried to push past Kenshin.

"Well I'm talking to you." She fired back, anger so strong, clouding her judgment, she didn't notice Kenshin's arm snake around her and hold her back. "I think you better be off before Kenshin really does become mad." She threatened, never really thinking the man would hurl himself at her.

"No," Kenshin breathed, moving her out of harms way before she could notice. "You will not harm Kaoru-dono." He vowed, setting his packages down by her feet before moving away from her. "Sessha does not know what this is about. But there's no reason for you to involve her."

"Sessha?" The man repeated. Looking momentarily confused as he glanced between Kenshin and Kaoru. "What the fuck kind of game are you playing at?" He yelled. "What happened to all that shit about killing us?"

"Killing?" Kaoru echoed. "Kenshin doesn't kill." She growled, really, looking around for anything resembling a bokken to beat him down with. "Kenshin—"

"It's all right," Kenshin soothed, glancing at her briefly before turning back towards his opponents. "There has to be a mistake," he tried to explain. "Sessha really was at home last night. You must have me confused with someone else."

"Yamato, are you sure it was him?" One of the other men asked, pulling slightly on his sleeve until Yamato turned to glare at him. "I know who I saw." He snapped back. Glaring balefully at the two men he'd brought as back-up before turning towards Kenshin once again. "_Where's_ my _cousin_ . . . _Battousai_?"

"Battousai?" Kaoru breathed, feeling faint as Kenshin visibly stiffened.

"_That_ is _not_ _my name_, that is not." Kenshin voiced, loud enough for them to hear as Kaoru visibly relaxed. "Sessha does not know who you are or what you mean to gain from this but _sessha_—" he emphasized—"Has never seen you before today. Please, let us pass."

"No." Yamato enunciated. "Not until I know what you did with my cousin. I will take your wife if I have to but _you_ _will_ tell me what you've done with him."

"You are not touching Kaoru-dono." Kenshin retorted back, gripping the hilt of his sword in warning as the others fanned out.

"Kenshin," Kaoru warned, looking helplessly between him and the way they'd come. "I can go get Chief Uramura." She tried to coax. "You've helped him so much, there's nothing he wouldn't do for you. Kenshin . . ." She trailed off, eyes wide as Kenshin moved. Disarming his opponents with such lightning fast movements, she gaped at him in awe. He was as flawlessness, as she'd ever seen him be. There had been no hesitation on his behalf, he'd just moved, she thought, watching him take a breath before turning back around again.

"Are you all right . . . Kaoru-dono?"

"I . . . Yes." She stammered, glancing briefly at the men behind him before locking gazes. "Are they . . ."

"Going to have a headache when they wake up?" He mused. "Probably, Kaoru-dono but sessha couldn't just stand by and let them take you."

"I know, I . . . Thank you." She said, still a little perplexed by his reaction and over all, damn situation.

"Can you get back home on your own?" He asked suddenly. Voice as gentle as she'd ever heard it and yet—"Sessha will go and find Chief Uramura, that he will. It shouldn't take long." He promised. "Sessha will be home in time to make you dinner . . . Kaoru-dono?" "I . . ." She couldn't say she liked the idea of him going alone. Not now—or well, not ever, she would admit but specially now, when he seemed so out of sorts. "Can't we just go home?" She asked. "Eventually they'll wake up right? Can't we just leave it at that?"

"But . . ." _they threatened you_, remained unsaid, as he shook his head. "They seemed set on sessha being the cause of their distress Kaoru-dono. It wouldn't be wise to let them wonder off. If they woke up and followed us home . . ." He turned away. "Chief Uramura will put them away awhile. Let them cool down and make sense about what they think they saw, all right?"

"All right," she agreed, taking the tofu from his hand as he picked up the rest of the things to take with him. "My kimono . . ."

"Sessha will take it with him, Kaoru-dono, just hurry home. All right?"

"But Kenshin—"

"_Please_ Kaoru-dono, _just go_."

"Fine," she agreed, tossing her hair off her shoulder as she angrily huffed away, ignoring Kenshin's plea to be careful until she was very sure she was far away.

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He was worried and in his haste, it didn't take him very long to find an officer, even less for the chief himself to become involved. He was, as Kaoru had said, very eager to help him out. Though deep down, he knew, it was because the chief hoped for some kind of help. Probably even hoped Kenshin would take care of this little problem of his like he had once before—like with _Jineh_, Kenshin thought, becoming suddenly annoyed as he drew away from the wall. Eyes slightly narrowed as he glanced at his attackers, unconscious probably for a couple of more hours still; so, there really was no point in him continuing to wait around.

Today at least, he wouldn't be getting any answers, he thought. Becoming somewhat angry, as he turned away, briskly leaving the police station before any one of the officers noticed he had left. He had to get home, he knew, or Kaoru would come out looking form him once again. And just now, that was very much the type of attention he'd rather just avoid. Though he did wonder, if however brief, whether that was even possible anymore. Since _no one_, aside from a selective few around him _knew_ who he had been; the fact that other people seemed to know now, common people even at that, was not just alarmingly disturbing, it was dangerous.

How other people had come to know, he would admit he didn't know. And though it bothered him, a great deal in fact, what really worried him was their silence. There had been no one around earlier to hear Yamato call him Battousai but other people, these people he had mentioned from the bar . . . There really was no way for him to buy their silence. And since he refused . . . Since he wasn't . . . Battousai, anymore; he didn't know _what_ he was _to do_ if he found out other people knew.

His anonymity had always been important but never more so; than when he was no longer the hitokiri; than now, when he could ill afford do away with the situation, he had Kaoru and the others to think about. And though he could simply solve this, he could not—would not—simply abandon them because there was no other way for him to hide. He thought . . . no more, as the dojo came into view; gates completely opened to show her awaiting his return, perceptions ever askew as he stopped to watch her turn, eyes ablaze as they turned a darker shade of blue.

"Kaoru-dono?" He questioned, hugging her kimono protectively to his chest as she cocked her head.

"Kenshin," she breathed, exasperation and concern all mixed in the audible sigh she exhaled. "I thought . . ." She shook her head. "You said, soon." She chided, pouting as she came down the steps to help him but . . . Something about her behavior . . . The way, she suddenly seemed to look, scared Kenshin into evading her helpful hands.

A flash of hurt across her face and Kenshin sighed, inwardly hating himself for the millionth time that day. "Sessha can put this away Kaoru-dono, you didn't have to wait." He murmured, turning his back on her as he closed the gates.

"I was only trying to help," she began in a voice that caught on the edges of her emotion, breaking into fragments as he turned but refused to meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry it bothered you," she whispered, turning back into the house as he caught a silent trail of tears streaming down her face.

It pained him to see her cry but she instigated situations where he could ill afford reveal the depths of his emotions for her. And so it always was with something like bitter regret now that he closed his eyes, inhaling the linger scent of jasmine that always welcomed him return . . .

It was neither of their faults he was in love with her but she could at least try and be a little less like . . . Like his whole world, he thought, smiling ironically to himself before stepping into the house, moist eyes, adjusting slowly to the lack of light as he maneuvered his way around, steps ever slow and thoughtful until he reached the kitchen counter, eyes alight on a teapot and adjoining set of cups he noticed as he set her kimono down.

The sight shouldn't have been enough to make him pause, draw him in or in any other way regret what he had done but . . . She had been home, for hours on end, awaiting his return. And in the gloomy light of day, eyes ablaze in awash of joy and concern—he had pushed away, the very affection he always seemed to crave now.

However irrational—it was simply better this way, he reminded, blinking back a few emotions he felt better to ignore. It wouldn't do him any good to think otherwise. What he wanted and what he could have, had long since been divided by an ocean full of guilt and a heartfelt regret, he couldn't just ignore . . . A ten year lifestyle shouldn't be easily swayed, even by such a pretty face he argued, eyes a pale hue as he pushed it aside, far enough away from him and her kimono as he set himself to work, ignorant of everything else around him as he forced the task at hand.

Consequently when dinner was finally done, he had no idea what to do. He had so far avoided thinking about what'd he'd said as well as the expression he'd last seen on her youthful face. But now that he was done, knowing full well he had to fetch her before he left the house, he was afraid; there was only so much he felt he could do, which she'd forgive. Aware that even Kaoru had her limits as well as the knowledge that the day would come when she would simply sigh and walk away.

And however justified that day might be, however close he felt he might be treading near—he couldn't even stand the thought of her turning her back on him completely. He was in love with her and even on his best days, that was enough to make feel helplessly defeated as every where he looked, he was reminded of her being near—of the way things might have been if only he'd met her first . . .

"Kenshin?"

"Aa," he responded, feeling a little lost as he met Dr. Genzai's concerned expression. "Gomen," he apologized, shaking his head free of the cobwebs his thoughts had spun. "Sessha's just a little . . ."

"Sick?"

"What?"

"A little sick still—Kenshin are you sure you're all right?" The doctor asked. Halting mid step as Kenshin drew away. "You're eyes are a little glossy . . . Has your fever gone down yet?"

Fever—yes, he thought, recalling some of what Kaoru had said about him becoming sick, something to do with a fever he couldn't recall . . .

"Kenshin?"

"Aa," he responded, doing his best to recall the rurouni mask for the doctor's inferring gaze. "Sessha's just preoccupied with a case, that he is."

"Oh, did you hear about that already?" The doctor asked, skulking closer to the counter for a cup of tea. "I thought I left, the station before Uramura sent out his men . . ." He trailed off, as he picked up a package off the floor: "What's this?"

"Kaoru-dono's," Kenshin replied, taking the package off his hands before setting it gently aside. "What did Uramura-dono need tell me?" He asked, eyes a shifting purple, he could just barely hide.

"Those men you brought in earlier escaped."

"Escaped?" He echoed, hearing his own voice almost from afar.

"Well, I say escape." The doctor supplied, looking a little troubled himself. "They just kind of disappeared when no one was really looking."

"But they were locked," Kenshin insisted, voice becoming just a little cold as he looked around him. "They were unconscious."

"I don't know what to tell you." The doctor offered, looking weary as he gave a little shrug. "I was there checking on some of Uramura's men when a boy ran by, yelling something or other for the chief to come and look. From there, it just all got a little hectic." He replied, gazing at Kenshin once more. "He was sending someone to get you though."

_Someone_, Kenshin thought, _that would surely piss her off_.

"Are you going to go?"

"Aa," he answered back, untying the strings holding his sleeves before casting a final look around, making sure everything was in place before he glanced at the doctor once again. "Dinner's already done," he sighed, casting her kimono a quick glance before heading towards the door. "Please make sure she eats. It won't do her any good to wait for sessha," he forced. Turning briefly beneath the door, half his features already swallowed by the outside dark, "Sessha might not be home tonight."

"Kenshin?"

"Aa?"

"Don't you want to have something to eat before you go? You look a little pale."

"No—" _I have to go_; he caught off, biting the words off at the very last moment. "Please, just tell her not to worry." He replied, leaving the doctor standing there as a growing sense of unease buoyed from his thoughts.

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In the forest, amid a cold red earth and a blotted out clearing, hardly distinguishable from the trees and darkness, the shadow of a figure moved, diligently working on knot he quickly set use, stringing up three more figures, to hang by a previous two.

One still alive with fear like death etched over his tear stained features began to moan as he drew near. His voice, pleading beneath the gag, escalated into a hitch pitch whimper he seemed unable to control.

A reminder still that even after all these years, the echoes of some things would forever-reverberate a truth, fear and guilt could never hide.

"A pity your cousin couldn't find you," he murmured, voice almost soft from the shadows veiling his surroundings.

Crying and pleading manifesting into sobs, made the tiniest flick of his wrist turn something of the horror like pain into something that ended quite abruptly, the only echoes of his voice died beneath the sound of a click as he re-sheathed his sword.

For the manifesting of his purpose to come to life now all he needed was a little more time. The hitokiri was alone . . . for the most part, rejecting most of the warmth his idiot counterpart had become surrounded by but once he was successfully drawn away from that, nothing would keep him from reemerging. And then, well, all things had a purpose, he supposed. Emerging from the darkness with another rope he slowly wrapped around the heckler, tightening a noose around his neck before dragging the body up. Knowing even Saitou himself, couldn't have done a better job.

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Another day another chapter, ne? Well I hope you all enjoyed the latest installment in the B/K saga, I still have lots and lots to post so I hope you will all stay tune.

This chapter was particularly hard to get out, not for lack of trying though. Believe me but because my hands is starting to hurt again. I had to stop off at the market last night and but some icy-hot. Made me feel a little better but not quite what I would have liked. It's the reason why this chapter is 19 pages instead of the standard 20, again. In know I'm sorry.

I kept thinking about adding to it but it just wouldn't make any sense. It's better just to add it to the next chapter I think, I'm sure many of you will agree. And . . . well having said that, let's get into it, yes.

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Small Notes: It's a new day, cold and bleak and maybe even gloomy, yes but nothing he wouldn't expect. It's almost winter—and a lot of his thoughts run instinctively when he's just come awake but all that stops however as the cold, wet part of his hakama touches his leg. It is a worrisome situation and the panic he feels becomes almost tangible as he realizes there a these tiny bits of memory missing from his conscious thoughts. It seems important that he remember what happened but when he begins to recall things, begins to remember what happened between him and Kaoru, everything else seems to become almost secondary.

As his guilt assaults him, he quickly goes in search of her, hoping to ease some of the worry and guilt that suddenly strikes him down. But even in moments of panic, the mantra he has repeated has become well known; he's worthless and too tainted by the sins of his past to ever hope for his affections to be returned.

He tells her so as he kneels by her slumbering form, choking on his emotions as he whispers things of failure he can only confess as he caresses her youthful face. Lost between actions and words, sending mixed signals to her in sleep as much as he does when she's awake, which as of late has become a much harder habit to break.

And though it has been difficult along the way and for sometime now to distinguish between who he'd been and who he is now; it has become ever more so when trying to discern how much of what he knows and what we can see he sometimes recalls, actually comes from the things a different part of him can only sense.

Though this latest incident does seem to clear up a bit of the haziness surrounding his personality, it is apparent, he's not all there. What used to be an integral part of his personality, things that could make one call him rurouni even, have become greatly disproportion as he wields those traits now like a shield to hide himself behind.

And you can't help but wonder; if this new façade he's had to build around his conscious thoughts is more to hide himself or appease Kaoru, whose fear of his behavior must have been at some point sensed.

He's almost the same, so much so Kaoru can hardly tell the difference. Though there are hints, sometimes in the way he looks at her or how he moves when he speaks to her, only she doesn't notice. Because like all men of strategy, when he waves a hand he makes sure to distracts with the other, though it's done unconsciously on his behave, he still behaves by means of concealment. Almost as if he were trying to hide his identity—though from who—is what one should really be interested to know.

If Kenshin's eyes are shifting colors, Kaoru certainly hasn't said probably because on those rare occasions that they do, caught between emotions and slivers of paling hues, she sees glimpses of emotions designated just for her.

As she shops for a new kimono, unconsciously choosing a deep indigo hue, Kenshin catches something in her body language, something about the way her eyes linger on the crimson splashed ribbon that stirs the echoes of something yet unknown.

She surprises the odd look on his face but without reference to what it might mean, she can do little but dismiss it, returning her gaze back towards the road when they suddenly get harassed.

Approached by men Kaoru's certainly never seen but Kenshin . . . It is not possible to say he hasn't when he might have and just can't seem to recall.

Either way, he disposes of the men with an ease that actually surprises her, forgetting all about Yamato's accusations as she stares at him in awe, perplexed by more than just their behavior as Kenshin himself, turns around. Distracting her with a question she little expected to hear.

As she huffs away, Kenshin remains behind looking after her a moment before finding some assistance; getting the men behind bars in a matter of minutes.

It is a wonder really why Kenshin lingered so . . . But by the time he gets home, the thought is anything but a passing bit of thought. Kaoru is at home, waiting impatiently for him to come home. Worried and frustrated like he can only imagine, which in the ends turns out to be exactly how she awaits him. Letting out a frustration, he can only sympathize with up until she tries to reach for him. And then, it's like a wall between them. Kenshin who isn't exactly Kenshin any more can't stand to be touched. Something about the way it makes him feel, the danger he seems to sense at the feel of her touch makes him apprehensive, so much so, he has come to fear it.

And while he feels extremely bad at the sight of her tears, as we saw he did in the beginning. The same action is easily justified when provoked or as he said, 'when she instigated situations.'

In haling the lingering scent of jasmine before wishing his whole existence didn't depend so much on how she felt before going inside the house. Stopping mid step as he noticed she'd made tea for them and then, as it always is when he makes her cry, his heart twists inside. Reminding him of how long she'd waited for him to come home and the way he'd pushed her away when she seemed to get a little too close.

Blinking back emotions he feels better to ignore, Kenshin pushes all thoughts away, determined to make dinner and nothing else as he devotes himself to that and that alone.

The problem with that however only becomes apparent once he's done. Aware that at some point Kaoru will reach a boiling-point he will never recover from if she chooses to let him go.

He loves her. And the thought of her walking away, however justifiable would surely be his end.

It is at this critical moment, while Kenshin's deeply immersed in thought that Dr. Genzai lets himself into the house. Walking into the kitchen with a greeting Kenshin never heard.

After a few times of calling out his name, the doctor does manages to get his attention but even then, he seems distracted making him wonder if he might still be somewhat sick.

From Kenshin's reaction and glossy eyes it seems like he might. But when the doctor draws near him to have a look, the rurouni backs away; reluctant for anyone it seems to have a closer look.

In the background the doctors voice, slowing filtering into Kenshin's brain. Cuts through, to the important part of a conversation he's already half missed. Dwelling on what he knows, shouldn't have been possible.

For them to escape was simply impossible. They were low level fighter, surrounded by police officers in a well lit jail. The only they could have managed to have gotten out was if someone helped them out.

The rest of his thoughts, Kenshin drowns out, barely answering a question about his health before he decides to go. Figuring somewhere along the way, he'll see Uramura's men.

As he leaves, he tells the doctor dinner's all done, asking in a few well disguised words for doctor to take care of her before he tries to leave. Only pausing once more, as reiterates, what the doctor should already know. Kenshin might not come home . . . tonight, and if he could at all stress the point, to tell her not to worry before he eventually does go, troubled less by the news and more by his thought, which grown steadily uneasy with every other step.

In the last scene, where confusion clearly marks our path; the shadowed figure is seen once again, moving in the darkness with unnatural ease as he hoists the bodies up. That's _three_, along a previous two and from that alone along with the fact that Kenshin has just been informed of their escape, it should be quite easy to deduce who the men were, just as it should becomes obvious, who the last man was.

Not to so much with the end, which can be easily misinterpreted. Thought there are clues by which you can feel along. '_For the manifesting of his purpose,_' for example, seems to refer to the shadowed figure's agenda, which had so far been unclear. Not anymore, it seems as it becomes quite clear, how familiar he has become with the rurouni and the different facets of his life, knowing that if he can draw Kenshin away from his mask, the hitokiri will reemerge. Though for what purpose is still unclear. All things strive and in the end, whether it's another hitokiri or Battousai himself trying to emerge, who Kenshin was will never be the same again. 

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Thanks for reading. Please don't forget to review.


	9. Seeking Justice

Usual disclaimer--Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me through this website or my own.

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CHAPTER NINE : Seeking Justice

There were things he remembered about nights like this. Things he had once done without a second thought, tracking his assignment like a hunter after one too many calls. Going through the motions like it'd become ingrained at some point in his life. Always too much like second nature for him to have spared a second thought . . . Even now, he hardly paid it any heed.

The _police_ were just behind him; Hamada was missing and now, with the disappearance of those other three; he could little afford to put this off. His involvement was necessary if no longer voluntary. He had to find out what was going on. People didn't just disappear out of the blue, not from a secured cell and certainly not by themselves. They had to have had some help but as to who—

"How much longer?"

_He was uncertain. _His companion's ki's spiked ten different degrees out here in the dark.

"Himura-dono?"

"Not much farther," he replied, motioning to the tracks on the road before looking up, senses caught on something like the scent of dried molding copper before registering the faintest trace of blood. "It looks like your men took a walk."

"A walk?"

"Aa," he replied, eyes hidden behind his bangs as he cast a look around. "That is odd," he murmured, "for anyone escaping . . . You would think they'd run."

"Himura-dono?"

"These tracks . . ." They should have headed to the river, the dogs would have easily lost their scent . . . But instead; "They run in—" away from the town but not from the road. "They're headed into the forest." He whispered; eyes a light shade of gold that disappeared with the first of someone's gasp.

"Himura-dono?"

"Aa?" He murmured. Following the tracks with his eyes as the others moved restlessly behind him.

"Are they alone?"

That was the question wasn't it? "It's hard to tell." Though from the tracks, it seemed almost like who ever _had_ helped them out, knew they might be followed. And had taken the proper care not to make more than one set of prints they had all followed.

"Are you going to follow them?"

What a silly question. "Isn't that what you'd planned on doing?" Kenshin asked; voice less than amused as he glanced at his companions.

"Well . . ."

"You have torches, you have back up and even if they had rifles," he paused, sensing a different type of ki not too far from his own.

"Stay. _Here_." He commanded, running off into the dark as the chief shouted something like _what happened_ from the dimming group.

Ways away it seemed as Kenshin reached the outskirts of the forest, eyes alight on a shadowy figure turning towards him with slow drowsy movements.

"You," Kenshin spat, gripping the hilt of his blade with something like an unconscious twitch running through his arm.

"Battousai . . ." Saitou smirked, swatting a few bits of dirt and leaves off his coat before reaching for a cigar. "What are you doing here?"

"Sessha's helping with a case. _Why are **you** here_?"

"I don't think that's any of your concern." Saitou murmured eyes bright in dark-amusement as Kenshin's hand tightened on his blade.

"Not my concern . . . there's blood here."

"Oh so you can still smell that, can you?"

"Saitou." Kenshin warned, voice a steady rhythmic flow that made the Mibu's brow raise ever so slow.

"It's nothing to concern yourself with," he murmured, blowing a cloud of smoke in Kenshin direction almost like provocation.

"What did you find?"

"Nothing. Go home Battousai before your woman comes to fetch you." He mocked, smirk ever widening as Kenshin's anger began to spike.

"Chief Uramura—"

"Will not need your help anymore." Saitou interrupted. "I will see to that myself."

"Saitou."

"It's not a discussion." Saitou snapped, watching Kenshin stiffen as the other officers began to close around them. "Do you need an escort," he taunted eyes ablaze as Kenshin turned to glare at him, his hand moving in silent warning like the real rurouni would have never so much as thought . . . let alone begin to promise.

"No," Kenshin growled. Eyes and voice like shards of ice, he meant to use to cut.

"Then off you go." Saitou murmured, catching a paling shade of violet tainting Kenshin eyes before he turned and left. Back stiff as Saitou watched him disappear into the distant darkness.

"Fugita-sama?" The chief called, cautiously taking a step back as Saitou's attention returned to the thing at hand. "Is it wise to provoke him like that?"

"Aa." He replied, inhaling the last of his cigar before extinguishing the bud. "Battousai needs to be ready for what's to come."

"To come?" Uramura echoed; looking slightly baffled as Saitou turned towards his men.

"You," Saitou snapped pointing towards a torch bearer. "Light the way into the forest, the rest of us will get the bodies back to the station."

"Bodies?" Someone echoed.

"Aa. Bodies. Now move." He barked heading into the forest with Uramura trailing behind.

"But my prisoners . . ."

"They're dead. You can stop your search."

"My search . . . Fugita-sama?"

"Uramura," Saitou exhaled, turning briefly in the low light as they caught sight of the bodies he'd been cutting down when he'd been attacked. "I think it's better for all of us, if you simply stop asking questions."

"But this is murder."

"No. What this is, is beyond your control. It's a government problem now, do you understand?"

"Aa."

"Good. Now that we understand each other," Saitou murmured, unsheathing his sword. "You are to tell _no one_—" He emphasized, cutting the last few ropes binding a set of bodies. "About what we found tonight. Am I clear?"

"As the day is bright Fugita-sama."

"Good. Now fetch me that thing that man is holding in his hand." He motioned, indicating one of the older bodies clinging to a strip of cloth.

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It was blue much like her new kimono but the ends were tainted red. Splashed with a dark crimson design, he didn't like very much. Flowers, he had assumed, were these dark-tangible patterns easily visible to any eye. Not splashes of red, one might interpret as something else.

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"Kenshin?"

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The color was ill suited.

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"Kenshin?"

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She should be dressed in soft shades that compliment her complexion.

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"Kenshin!"

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He hated her ribbon, he thought, slowly releasing it as Yahiko moved in front of him, eyes dark and concerned as they ran over his wet attire.

"What happened to you?"

"Saitou." Kenshin murmured, as if that were enough of an explanation for anyone who knew him.

"He . . . What? Did you guys get in a fight?"

"No," though he rather wished they had. Saitou was fast but he was angry enough to have done away with him immediately. One blow to the back of the skull and even Saitou would have had a hard time standing up.

"Kenshin?" Yahiko called, sounding exasperated as Kenshin's attention seemed to drift off. "Kenshin!"

"Where's Dr. Genzai?"

"He's gone. Kaoru was asleep when I got home but he said not to wake her up. Its better she didn't know you were, since you were probably going to be gone all night."

"She didn't eat?"

"Not as far as I can tell. I got a little bit earlier but it's all mostly there. Kenshin . . . What happened? Dr. Genzai wouldn't say."

"Nothing," Kenshin hedged, turning slightly away as Yahiko began to frown. "He just wanted help finding Hamada."

"And?"

"Sessha thinks Saitou might have found him."

"Saitou . . ."

"Aa," He replied, carefully picking up her kimono and putting it beneath his arm. "For the time being . . . It would simply be wise not to tell here he's even here though, all right?"

"Sure," Yahiko murmured, looking slightly troubled at what his lie might insinuate.

"Good night," he murmured, watching Yahiko nod before bidding him the same. "Night Kenshin, I'll see you tomorrow." He heard him whisper, dragging his feet a little as he went off to bed, leaving Kenshin alone in the dark kitchen to think over his thoughts.

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In the morning light, hair like the dying sun, spilled over strong, muscled shoulders, as the small piece of fabric fastening the deep-crimson locks, loosened and fell. Allowing a waterfall of tresses to tumble back, eagerly coiling around the edges of a breeze. Before they were caught once again and tucked into place, arranged in that hazardous manner, she had all but come to long for; to touch and feel.

And she so wanted to do both, as she stood by, idly watching him from afar. She couldn't help but notice the stiffness in his frame. As though he knew she was there but was determined not to turn—to see her, watching him as he hung up the wash, he'd finished not so long ago.

Moving like always, _only_ differently, if that made any sense at all. He moved automatically, smiled automatically and if she admitted, acted more and more courteous everyday like the rurouni but not quite. It was subtle, oh-so very subtle, she might've never have picked upon it, had her concern not already been so peaked. It wasn't difficult from there to see, he was in a mood again, hardly eating and with shadows beneath his eyes. Hinting at the problems she knew were lurking just beneath the surface of his eyes.

Sighing, for what she could only assume was the tenth time within a fifteen minute span, she went back to sweeping the floors; her mind, drifting back to earlier that morning and his reaction to Dr. Genzai's unexpected visit. Wondering for the millionth time, just what he had said to him when he'd pulled him aside.

Dr. Genzai wouldn't say and he had quickly left the dojo with the excuse he was late. But how much work could he really have to get to so early in the morning, she wondered, when she-herself had only just gotten up. It was like they were up to something.

"Kenshin," she suddenly called, watching him as he heaved a silent sigh before turning around, dark purples eyes, a vision of weary trepidation as he gazed at her intently, ever silent as her eyes began to narrow.

"I was thinking," she began, wondering at the thoughts racing through his head. "That it'd be nice to have lunch in town today, don't you think. It's been a while since I've seen Tae and since it looks like no chance of rain today . . ." She let the though trail off, knowing he understood when a small frown began to mar his face.

"That is not a good idea, Kaoru-dono."

"No?"

"No . . . Sessha's . . . Sessha can't go with you today, Kaoru-dono."

"Kenshin," she smiled, putting the broom against the house before taking a few steps down. Standing a distance away still, as she moved around the yard, face upturned towards the bit of sun shinning down on her yard. "You may not believe this but I have had lunch alone before." She murmured, smiling distantly as he crossed his arms. Frown deepening, as she turned to gaze at him.

"It would not be wise to venture on your own . . . Kaoru- dono. Those men from yesterday could have friends."

"Kenshin," she sighed, feeling like they'd had this conversation a million times already. "They're in jail," she emphasized. "Honestly, what's the bid deal? You let Yahiko walk there alone."

"Aa, but he's a . . ."

"What? A man, please . . . That better've not been what you were about to say." She warned, suddenly glaring at him as he turned his face away.

"I'm his teacher. And . . . What? Are you saying he can take care of himself, where I can't?"

"No . . . Kaoru-dono, sessha isn't saying that. It's just . . . You attract attention." He softened, voice becoming low and gentle beneath the weight of her mounting anger. "It would not be wise, that's all."

"Not be wise," Kaoru echoed, becoming disturbingly annoyed by the double meaning behind his words. She had thought that Kenshin of all people would refrain from ever speaking to her in such a way. She wasn't a child and if there was something going, she had a right to know. They had lived together for years now, you would think he would give her that much—_but no_, she thought, silently fuming as he turned around again, dismissing her ever so, silently.

Fine, she thought, heading back into the house without so much as a huff—just fine, Yahiko will be home soon anyways. And he trusted her more than anyone alive, so, she would just have to make him find out what was going on for her, she thought. Slamming his shoji aside as she began to look for the article he had yet to show her.

Though seeing as how one could never be too careful—she remained silent for a moment, making sure he wasn't on his way inside before continuing her search.

Kenshin no baka.

How else was she to help him, when she didn't even understand what the problem was, she thought, clucking her tongue in annoyance, when the firsts of her search's came to bear no fruit.

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It was hours later between an early breakfast and even later lunch that she finally came across the damn article, safely tucked away with a few of the things Sano had left behind in his room. Hazardously folded into a pile, Kenshin wouldn't have given a second thought to fold over.

He was a smart boy when he wanted to be, she thought, extending the newspaper straight with her palms before she began to read: **_Kunii House Fire, extends beyond control._** __

Large amber flames engulfed the entire block upon which the most famous newspaper house in our city had once stood, unsettling Yokohama residents from a false sense of safety we'd developed since our Secretary of State Yamagata decided to increase the army's presence by more than a few hundred men since before last May when an unknown party threatened to blow up Tokyo and Yokohama if his demands weren't met.

Rumors involving an undercover official, acting as a government spy aren't so far fetched as one might think, considering the article the newspaper had recently printed about this nations most infamous shadow assassin.

Takomoyo Senishi, age 36, known author and most famous news man for The Yokohama Times (otherwise known to belong to the Kunii House publishing House), died of what authorities are calling an arsonist's fire. Though inside sources have revealed, the deceased's cause of death to have been by that of a long sharp object, most believed to be of a strong-sturdy metal otherwise known as a samurai sword. Authorities have been quick to dismiss this rumor, obstinately articulating there is no proof to support this claim.

Challenge to let the people decide for themselves has gone unrecognized by the city's police who refuse to let the media have a look at the deceased's remains.

Fueling further rumor of the government's involvement in quieting the deceased has been the appearance of a witness, whose name was recently released by the authority's to be one, Hamada Shouko. A forty-two year old part-time worker and full-time drunk, authorities believe got a good look at the man, many suspect to be the infamous hitokiri of our younger days.

This shadowed-figure, as was described by Hamada when coming out of the police station earlier today, never turned his face but he had a long sword and long hair, that obscured his features as he left the building shortly after it began to burn.

A vague description, if at that, describing only what some men in our political society can prove true of the hitokiri's features.

_Kunii House Fire continued on pages 6-7_ . . . Ended the page abruptly, continuing, on the next few pages were their interpretation of old rumors as well as the reason for the recent fire, which unsurprisingly took a completely biased view. No wonder Yahiko had worried, she thought, closing the paper carefully before putting it back among the rest of Sano's things, more at ease, if a lot concerned over Kenshin's most recent display. Wondering, if it were at all possible, to sneak a look at another paper without having Kenshin drag her home.

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Initially, a look or word or even violence itself _could at times_ be overcome. Mostly, by that part of him which preferred the warmth of the sun, the laughter of children and the ever present scent of jasmine within the bounds of his life. Always there to comfort and call him back, when the anger and despair of the hitokiri, threatened to break the restraints he'd so carefully constructed. _Such a fragile balance, _he sometimes wondered, how it'd ever come to exist at all. Kami only knew. It would ever take but one push, that one final provocation to finally break the seal once and for all.

It was a despairing thought but one he could ill afford to ignore, no matter how much he'd wanted to, he knew better than to mask this as anything but the truth. A truth, he recognized, he was ill prepared to handle when—

Kaoru's sudden scream echoed with _such_ panic and horror through his heart, that for a moment, it ceased to beat at all. The world withdrew alarmingly and for a split second, turned a disquieting shade of black and white—before something else entirely steadied his racing pulse. As fear, guilt and panic; were all momentarily forgotten, his body sprang into movement. Dropping all he'd been carrying as he rushed out the dojo's gate, down the street and past a corner before abruptly coming to a stop.

As anger fueled his heart, amber engulfed the violent in his eyes, driving him to move without warning as he drew the blade from his side, striking four consecutive blows, in the time it took for Kaoru to let another blood curling scream. But by then, it was all over. And she realized belatedly, that the strong unyielding grip around her waist belonged to her rurouni and not to the men, who'd tried—

"Shh," was all she heard, as he repeatedly stroked her hair. Whispering words, she couldn't quite hear above the sudden torrent of emotions; brimming her eyes with tears, she could little control. Clinging to him so desperately, he ached for her distraught. Worried beyond his limit but angrier, even more, though he was careful not to show her that as he gently picked her up, carrying her away from possible prying eyes as he got them home; barely managing to close the door behind him, before he headed straight for her room, more than oblivious to the others presence as he maneuvered through the halls. Keen only on being left alone with her did little to hide the anger pulling his skin so taut. That cold distant hatred, still visible in his gaze wore all the menacing shadows of death, the hitokiri had always had to repress whenever his ki had spiked this high.

And yet, all this disappeared, the moment he tried to set her down, because Kaoru suddenly became like a frightened child. Wordlessly, tugging him down with her, eyes brimming as he shook his head, silently refusing her the comfort he knew she needed, not because he didn't want to but because it was making him so dangerously angry.

Of all the things—he'd never forgive himself for almost letting harm come to her. As it very well could have—and all because he'd been preoccupied with his thoughts, trying _so _damn _hard_ to ensure that she was some distance away that . . . He didn't even want to think of what could've happened.

"_Kenshin . . . Please . . ."_

And he tried; really, he tried to ignore the pain the sound of her broken voice brought him, as he reaffirmed the rurouni mask, sliding it over his features so that only concern peeked from behind his gaze, eyes dark and violet now, so that she didn't become alarmed. But even then; "Kaoru-dono . . ." his voice, he realized was still much too deep. A sign, at his failing attempt to rein his anger back into place so soon after the incident.

"_Will you stay?"_

He nodded, fairly suspicious that if he uttered even one more word it'd be the hitokiri speaking and not him.

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When she awoke sometime later, it was to realize that somewhere along the way, she must have fallen asleep. It was fairly dark, now. Not quite nighttime, but no longer afternoon either. In any case, she still felt tired and with so very little light coming into the room, she was fairly tempted to stay put. And after a moments hesitation, she decided, that yeah, after the morning she'd just had that's exactly what she needed to do. Yawning softly, as she let her gaze begin to travel, moving slowly among the things in her room before abruptly pausing, caught by the now-calm purple gaze she hadn't yet intended to encounter. And yet, she felt both relieved and slightly flustered, as she smiled almost shyly. A bit embarrassed now, by her earlier reaction when . . . just earlier, she thought, before purposely ignoring the rest.

"I—" She began, a little awkwardly before just blurting out— "Please, don't tell the others." And from the way his eyes suddenly narrowed, all she wanted to do was cover her face. "I mean, Thank you. But—"

"_Don't tell_."

And something in the way he said it, the tenor of his voice, made her look at him again. Wondering what it was about him today, that made him seem so different, so _out of place._

Casually, almost, he turned away, breaking the scrutiny of her gaze before heaving a soundless sigh. "Sessha," he said, carefully edging around his form of phrase. "Sessha won't say a thing." He promised, smiling reassuringly at her, before slowly standing. Heading for the door where he paused just as he reached the wooden frame. "Later," he whispered, "You can tell sessha what happened."

But from the way, he gently said it. They both knew, he wasn't really asking, He was telling her, that whether or not she was ready, she would tell him what'd had happened. And so, sighing, Kaoru turned away, mumbling "All right Kenshin," before closing her eyes and falling into a dreamless slumber almost immediately after he left.

Hours later, when she awoke, for the third time that day; she sat up slowly, rubbing sleep out of her eyes, before barely managing to stand. Her back was killing her but she dared not tell him that. Kami only knew what he'd do if she told him the full extent of her injuries.

Wobbling a bit, still, Kaoru decided it'd best to take a moment to stretch. It wouldn't do much for her back but at least she'd manage to get the kinks out of her legs.

Arms stretched fully over her head, she bent at the waist from side to side, wondering, how in the world they'd ever managed to over power her. Yes, there'd been four of them and true, they'd had some knowledge of kempo but even so, she knew they weren't up to her skill. She should have been able to handle them but . . . she'd been so distracted. Thinking about Kenshin and those damn newspaper hounds, that when they'd jumped from over the wall of Naishinno's house. She'd been too surprised, reacting almost once it was too late.

Sighing, Kaoru stopped her stretches and slowly began to rub her lower back. Frankly, surprised that she could still be so stupid, thinking they weren't going to fight dirty, ha! She groaned as she touched a rather tender spot. Fleetingly, she wondered what Kenshin would say if she showed him her back, by now, with how sensitive her skin was, she knew it would probably look like a mass of purple and blue patches.

"What a miserable day," she thought. From the moment she'd woken up . . . she should have just stayed in bed. "And avoided all sorts of problems," she grumbled, easing carefully back onto the futon before glancing uneasily towards the door, wondering if he'd come get her or if he expected for her to seek him out. And if the later, could she hide out a bit longer, still.

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"Kaoru-dono?"

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I guess not, she thought. Rising from her spot as quickly as possible before trying to smooth out her hair and on realizing she still hadn't changed, attempted to smooth the wrinkles out of her kimono as well, though that, she realized proved rather pointless in the end.

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"Kaoru-dono?"

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She looked up just in time to see the shoji slide aside and while a part of her fumed at the audacity of his behavior, the other part of her mind seemed unable to comprehend much more than he'd just opened the door and let himself in.

"Kenshin," she began, unable to help the beginnings of a frown forming on her face. "You can't just—" _come in_, she trailed off, falling silent as soon as she caught sight of his face.

The seriousness in his expression made her feel terribly guilty for what she'd done, she had known sneaking off wasn't the best of ideas but nothing like this had ever happened before. She couldn't have known what would happen . . . He couldn't blame her for that, could he? Looking at him closely, she was sure he didn't. He didn't think like that but . . . she had to wonder, _why _he suddenly seemed so frightening?

He's acting like—Kaoru felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach, a nasty-inkling coiling around her thoughts. "Kenshin," she said slowly. "What happened to the men . . . who . . . attacked me?"

He blinked or she blinked, she couldn't tell but in the next moment, whom she thought she'd seen wasn't there at all. Only Kenshin's purple gaze reflecting a stricken look she couldn't erase as he backed away.

And though she quickly shook her head, feeling the hot sting of tears prickling behind her eyes; "I'm sorry." She felt came a little too late but— "I didn't mean . . . Of course you wouldn't." But she was afraid the damage had already been done. And as she took a step towards him, he backed another step away. Halting her movements, as tears now freely flowed down her paling face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, wishing the earth would open and swallow her whole. How she could ever think, Kenshin would do such a thing. She shook her head, so miserable and guilty, her head bowed down in shame.

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"Kaoru-dono, please . . . just . . . sit down."

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And so she did, still unable to meet his gaze.

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"What happened earlier?"

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But that, she realized was all it took; her head snapped up, eyes wide in shock, at how quickly he'd jumped the subject. "I—I was coming home," she stuttered. "I guess . . . I didn't realize something could happen so close to home." She murmured, sighing under her breath as she turned away, still not quite able to stand the way he looked at her. "I was looking down, I think. I didn't really see them until they'd jumped over the wall. But I didn't have my bokken and with my wrist—"

It had been hard to defend herself. They'd just grabbed her and had started dragging her back along with them when she'd begun to kick and scream. Struggling against one of them as another had tried to touch her legs. But even then, she'd had enough peace of mind, she realized to bite her captor's hand, allowing the scream Kenshin probably heard to get across her mouth. Even if she had been slapped for it . . .

"Kaoru-dono?"

Though how did she even begin to tell him that _without crying_, she wondered, blinking back a stream of tears she was able to keep at bay.

"_Did _they _touch you_?"

"Kenshin . . ." She couldn't tell him, she realized, she hadn't even said anything and already his tone of voice was changing, dark eyes turning a lighter hue as her tears began to flow. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please, I'm tired."

"Kaoru-dono," he murmured, as though he were trying to measure his words carefully. "This is important to me, do you understand. You have to be able to tell me so that I can tell the police."

"No," she interrupted, abruptly cutting him off as she leapt into his space. "Kenshin you promised you wouldn't say anything. You promised," she whispered, beginning to cry anew as he shook his head. "You promised."

"What would you have me do . . ." He whispered, suddenly grasping her by the shoulders as he pulled her far enough away from him to look into her brimming eyes. "Tell me what you want me to and it'll get done."

"I don't . . . I don't want you to tell anybody, you promised. I just . . . You have to stay near, ok."

"All right," he agreed, petting her hair softly as she continued to tremble in his arms. "Just tell me . . . Did they hurt you?"

"No," she hedged, looking away from him as pulled her close again. "You got there before they could . . . Before they could do more than slap me," she lied, aware if he knew the extent of her bruises, he would go out looking to kill them. It wouldn't matter that they hadn't actually _hurt_ her like he was asking. That was simply a technicality, if he suspected there was anymore to her story, the extent of her bruises would be nothing compared to what Kenshin would do to those men. It was simply easier to lie, she reasoned. There was no reason for him to do anything they might all regret simply because she'd been too dumb to pay attention to her surroundings. She just had to coax him, she realized or they would never get through this. He would always blame himself for something that was really neither of their faults. These things happened. She just had to get past it. It was only a scare after all, she reasoned, trying to get her tears under control as Kenshin slowly rocked them. Eventually falling asleep clinging to his hair, ever grateful for his comfort even as he pulled away.

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Hey everyone, not so long since the last post, right. Almost with a three week span, aren't you proud of me. Can you imagine how much more you'd get to read if I didn't have this killer ache in my wrist. Oh, the possibilities of a ghost-writer, are just flying through my head. It's nearly three you know and I just finished the chapter. Can you say, hooray for 23 pages. I imagine so.

There's a lot of things covered in this chapter but since we're nearly at the end, I don't know if I should be posting up the small notes. I think it was pretty self explanatory. So I will post it as is for this weekend and later on when I have time I'll come back and post the small notes. I think this way, you get a chance to read. Just drop me a line if there's something you don't understand or feel you must absolutely discuss, all right. I'll be a while longer on chapter ten but it'll be out soon enough, so don't panic, you _will_ see it before back to school.

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Thanks for reading. Please, don't forget to review.


	10. For All the Penance

Usual disclaimer--Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only and can be archived anywhere, just let me know where. Please send no flames, I'm sensitive. But for all other comments you may contact me though this website or my own.

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CHAPTER TEN : For all the Penance

They were quiet when he arrived; all sly glances and worried looks aimed covertly in his direction as he studiously ignored them. Hiding behind his bangs as he took a seat across from them, motionless forever it seemed before he calmed down enough to think, what seemed coherent like thoughts. Eyes ever a dark purple, as he lifted his head, revealing pale shadowed features even his mask could little hide.

"She was attacked." He revealed, ignoring their gasps and sudden murmurs as he inwardly sighed. "Sessha—" he forced himself to say, "Dealt with the attackers, just . . . not fast enough, it seems. She was hurt." _Because of me_, he thought, fisting his hands beneath his sleeves as he allowed himself a moment to blink, carefully staying away from those kinds of thoughts while others were in the room. "She needs to rest but . . . You will have to see her Dr. Genzai."

"Kenshin?" The doctor asked, looking slightly more worried then the others Kenshin guessed because he felt a lot more in what he _didn't_ say than in what he _did_.

"Sessha will stay outside her room while you look in on her. You have to make her rest. Sessha needs to run down to the police station and . . . She can't be left alone."

"What happened?" Tae asked. Looking on the verge of tears as Yahiko frowned at her.

"She's got an injured wrist," he piped in "And when I saw her at the restaurant she didn't even have her bokken with her. Kaoru's good," Yahiko admitted, "But even she would've had problems if they'd ganged up on her."

"That's not what I meant," she sniffed. "I know about her hand. I asked her why it was bandaged. What I mean . . . I mean, I don't understand. I was only a couple of minutes behind her. And I—I didn't see anything. Where did they attack her?"

"Near the house—" Kenshin hedged, rising from his spot with a fluid grace, his audience did not miss. "Dr. Genzai, are you ready?"

"Of course," the doctor nodded, rising a little slow as Tae helped him stand, handing Kenshin his bag before they turned and left, silent for a lot of the walk until they reached her room. "Is there anything you want me to check for?" The doctor asked, eyes never wavering from the floor as Kenshin spared him a glance.

"No," he replied, confident Kaoru had told him the truth some hours before but— "Sessha just needs to be sure she's all right. At this point—it's just better she rests." He murmured, sliding the shoji aside with infinite care, afraid to startle her awake as she slept where he had left her.

"Kaoru-dono," he whispered, taking hold of her arms and shielding her from the doctor's gaze as she started awake. "It's all right." He murmured, easing her down slowly on the futon, as she blinked herself awake. "The doctor's here to check on you."

"I told you I was fine," she argued, looking a little pissed as Kenshin smiled.

"Sessha would feel a lot better if he agreed." He murmured, watching her a fraction of second too long before moving back. "Sessha will be outside, if you need anything else," he instructed watching Kaoru out of the side of his eye, as he nodded to the doctor.

"Kenshin . . ."

"Sessha won't be far . . . Kaoru-dono, just outside the door. All right?"

"All right," she agreed, watching him slowly smile before sliding the shoji closed, eyes ever clear as he disappeared from her view.

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In the silence of his wake, as the doctor opened his mouth to ask her where it hurt. She motioned for him to stop, rising very slowly and with a grimace on her face, before she motioned for him to reach her ink and paper.

"I feel fine." She started, voice normally loud so Kenshin wouldn't suspect. "I was just startled." She lied, writing down--_hurts_.

"Well I'm just here to make sure." The doctor replied, mouthing; _where_, as Kaoru touched her ribs and back before disrobing.

"Does your hand still hurt?" He asked, tapping her back in a silent signal, she could understand.

"A little," she hissed as he began to touch carefully over her back—"It isn't anything to worry about, right?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted, turning her around slowly so he could examine her ribs. "Now, I'm going to press on this, he motioned, indicating her ribs. "And you tell me, if the pain is sharp or just a sting, all right?"

"All right," she agreed, taking in a deep breath as she readied herself for a bit of pain.

"Here we go," he said, pressing along her ribs as she breathed through clenched teeth. "Kaoru?"

"It isn't sharp," she murmured, blinking back the need to cry as he handed her the discarded robe.

"Not a sting either though, is it Kaoru-chan?"

When she shook her head, he nodded. Taking her pad and ink before jotting down; _nothing's broken, just sore, ok_. "It's going to take something like two to three weeks before the pain—" he motioned, indicating the _bruises_, so she could understand. "Goes away. You just need a lot of rest."

"That's what I thought you'd say." She murmured, smiling a little as she sat down on the futon again.

"I'm going to leave Kenshin some tea for you, which you need to take three times a day. It's going to make you sleepy but it will also make this hurt less, all right?"

When she nodded, sighing more relived then she'd ever thought she'd be, she noted the doctor paused, looking as if something else was troubling him when he suddenly grabbed her injured hand, undoing the bandages before looking it over carefully.

When he was done, he redid her bandage, looking terribly concerned as he looked at the slight bruising on the side of her face. "Kaoru-chan . . . Is there anything else?" He prompted, watching her carefully, Kaoru noted, as she easily shook her head.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," she whispered, understanding what he meant by his choice of words. "I'm just a little rattled from the scare," she admitted, glancing towards the door as if afraid Kenshin might have heard; "But otherwise fine." She stated, glancing at the doctor as he began to stand.

"All right," he conceded. Smiling softly down at her before ruffling her bangs, "I'm going to take Yahiko with him so he can bring the medicine back to Kenshin, ok. I'm sure he's eager to get you all better again," He teased, choking on his chuckle as Kenshin suddenly slid the shoji open.

"Ken_shin_," The doctor chided, hand over his heart, as it continued to race. "You _don't_ do _that _to _old people_." He berated, looking sternly at the red head, who really, didn't seem sorry at all as he apologized; calling Yahiko to the door before letting the doctor pass.

"Make sure Tae-dono locks behind you," he instructed, making sure Yahiko understood him before sliding the shoji closed, waiting silently for their echo to trail off before nearing her futon.

"You look better," he stated, taking a seat besides her on the floor as she began to smile.

"I feel better," she admitted, coloring a little bit before looking away. "He said I was fine."

"Aa, sessha heard."

"So you don't have to worry," she continued, yawning a little before covering her mouth.

"You need to rest Kaoru-dono."

"I'm not sleepy." She insisted, turning to face him a little before inwardly sighing. "I'm fine."

"Sessha knows . . . you might feel fine Kaoru-dono, but it's still . . . Sessha would feel . . . better if you just had a bit more rest, that's all."

"Kenshin," she sighed, about to begin her berating when she noticed her pad and ink close by. Any closer and Kenshin might see it, she thought, turning abruptly as Kenshin frowned. "Fine," she murmured, acting as if she were doing it against her better judgment. "You'll only go on about this forever if I don't listen anyways. So I'll lay down, ok."

"But you have to sleep," he insisted, watching her carefully as she raised a hand to her head, massaging the ridge of her nose as if a headache were coming on.

"How about, I go to sleep when the tea gets here." She bargained, watching him as he seemed to ponder this before nodding his head. "Good, now that we're agreed, will you get another blanket, please?"

"Sure," he replied, beginning to move toward the side of her room when she caught his sleeve.

"I want one of the one's from out in the hall. Those are warmer," she reasoned, smiling shyly for maximum affect. "I'd feel better if I had one of those."

"All right," he nodded, standing up in one fluid movement, her worried mind, didn't quite observe. Watching him instead for any backwards glances that showed he might have known, she meant to hide him something.

"Sessha will be right back," he told her, as he began to close the door, it dawned on her that he would have to leave her to fetch the stupid blanket.

"Wait," she called, realizing she sounded a bit panic; "Just—don't close it, ok. Just, leave it open."

"Aa," he replied, sounding strangely displeased as he turned around and left.

He would be gone only a few seconds, her mind argued, pushing her to move faster than she felt comfortable with as she tore the page off the pad, wondering where to hide it, when she spotted her truck. She didn't really have the time to hide it properly, she though as she stuffed it inside an old doll, quickly before he noticed she had moved; she rolled over into her futon, pulling the blanket over her just as he arrived.

"Kaoru-dono?"

"I . . . I was just wondering what was taking you so long," she lied, eyes cast down so he couldn't know, she didn't exactly tell the truth there.

"Gomen nasai," he apologized, "Sessha shouldn't have taken so long." He murmured, smiling sadly down at her before covering her carefully with the blanket. "You can close your eyes," he told, smoothing the edges around her futon with incalculable calmness. "Sessha will be here when you awake."

"But I'm not sleepy," she argued, yawning back another contradiction as he sat by her side. "You look tired," she murmured, turning slightly beneath the blankets as she watched him watch her; a slight yawn escaping her as she cuddled beneath the warmth. "When was the last time you slept . . ." She wondered, unsuccessfully keeping sleep at bay as it finally caught up to her. Blinking ever slowly, as he half smiled—the feel of his hand never registering as her eyes began to close, drifting off to sleep as he brushed her bangs away, murmuring; "Not for many days now," before slowly drawing his hand away, sure to keeping his distance as Kaoru's even breathing began to fill the room.

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Staying calm, in the face of her nightmares however proved much more difficult than he'd thought—between keeping guard and drug induced slumbers, often interrupted by her desperate call. He was wearing himself thin, he could hardly lift up his head anymore without the shadows of his emotions coloring his eyes. He was tired and angry. And without Kaoru to comfort him . . .

Kenshin shook his head, sighing wearily as he did the wash. Focusing on the coldness of the water to bring down his muddled thoughts when Kaoru called for him again. Sounding desperate as he rushed to her side, caught between levels of sleep and waking as Tae tried to fully wake her up. Shaking her like a child as he entered the room.

"Ken-san," she murmured, looking afraid as he neared the futon. "I was only a gone a minute," she whispered, crying softly as Kenshin took a sleeping Kaoru from her hands.

"It's fine." Kenshin whispered. "Sessha will keep watch a while longer, you may go."

"I- I'll just be in the kitchen if you need anything else then." She murmured, leaving hastily as Kaoru began to thrash again, the sounds of Kenshin's name beginning to slip her lips as Tae closed the door.

"Kaoru-dono," he whispered, brining her into the circle of his arms, as he called to her again. "You need to wake up now, come on. Sessha's right here." He whispered. Coaxing her to hear him somewhere in her drug induced slumber as he brushed his hand along her hair.

The feelings of guilt washed away as anger began to manifest again. "Kaoru," he insisted, taking a firm hold of her chin as he gave her one quick shake. "I'm right here."

"Kenshin . . ."

"Aa," he murmured voice as deep as her eyes were dark in the quiet of the room.

"Kenshin . . ."

"I'm right here," he whispered, rocking her gently against him until she began to calm, snuggling into his warmth as he inaudibly sighed—waiting for a long time, in the silence surrounding them before he set her back on the futon. Mind blank, as he watched her sleep a moment longer before heading out the door. Aware her sleeping cycle would allow him only an hour or so before she began to call for him again.

"Ken-san?" Tae called, stopping him on the porch, as he looked out into the yard. "Where are you going?"

"The police station, Sessha's just going to check on the progress of their . . . _search_." He bit out, careful to mask the underlining anger often present since her attack.

"But what if Kaoru wakes up?"

"Sessha won't be long Tae-dono. She will sleep until Sessha's able to return."

"But if those men . . . What if they come back?"

"They wouldn't dare," he reasoned, voice becoming cold as Tae gasped.

"Ken-san?"

"What sessha means," He hastily added, "Is Uramura-dono, left some men nearby. They won't come near," he promised. "There's nothing to worry about Tae-dono. You'll both be safe until my return," he explained trying to appease her with a rurouni smile before he turned around and left.

Inwardly cursing at the situation before he focused on what he'd say once he found his way into the station. Saitou was never forthcoming with information. His last visit two nights ago had reaffirmed that. Just as it'd confirmed, he knew a lot more than he was willing to part with.

He should know better than to ask him but _there **really**_ _was **no one** else_, he doubted he'd let Uramura in on what he knew. The Ishin Shishi

Shinsen-gumi had always been very secretive, especially amongst themselves he knew, for Saitou to have trusted him with anything of real value. The only real way to get anything out of him was to beat it out of him but _that_ would take a lot longer than he could spare. Though the thought of it did have its appeal, he mused, shaking his head as he continued down the road.

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He was both then surprised and angry, as he found Saitou had come and gone from his house, leaving nothing so much as a clue when he returned back home. Almost as completely empty handed as he had been when he left.

"Did you find out anything else?" Tae asked, still standing between him and the door as when he'd arrived.

"No, they're still missing." He informed her, cautiously looking around before releasing a small amount of ki. Enough to draw that idiot back with, he thought as Tae began to nervously twist her hands.

"When he was here . . ." She trailed off, trying to discern his expression suddenly like she didn't know who he was.

"What?" He asked, trying to make his voice as even as possible under the circumstances. Though his ki, he felt would soon begin to rise.

"He just . . . He looked like he was going to say something when he suddenly looked up, looked over his shoulder and towards the gate before shaking his head. He murmured something but he was already too far to hear."

Not such a waste of time then, Kenshin thought, if his reaction was anything to go by. Though why he hadn't sensed him on his way back was the questions, he most wanted to ask. Since from here he could pinpoint exactly where Kaoru was, where their closest neighbor milled out around his porch and how far his wife stood in the back washing clothes. He could even sense Tae's worry as well as the approaching storm just beyond the horizon. He could sense _everything_, like he hadn't been able to in long time. So it bothered him, he would admit, that he had not sensed Saitou from afar.

"Ken-san?"

"Hmm?" He responded, quickly shaking out of his thoughts as Tae waved a hand in front of his eyes. "Gomen," he apologized, looking slightly worried and lot more like himself than when he'd first come back.

"It's my turn to close the restaurant, so I'll be gone for a couple of hours." She told him, going inside for a shawl he remembered westerner's peddling at the port. "I'll be back in the morning to help you out." She sighed, wrapping the light wool around her shoulders as she cast a weary look at the sky. "I'll try and send Yahiko back early as well, so you don't have to worry about him being out so late." She explained. Walking slowly towards the gates as Kenshin followed. "Dr. Genzai might drop by a little later with girls too. He thought you might need the company and I'm inclined to agree, Ken-san . . ." She trailed off, watching him witch a calculation, he didn't very much like. "You're not looking well." She murmured, glancing away as he opened the gates for her. "We're worried about you."

"Sessha knows Tae-dono. Thank you for your concern."

"All right," she murmured, looking like she understood his dislike of the conversation as she headed out. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Aa," he murmured, closing the gates behind her before slowing rounding the house making sure everything was in order before he locked himself inside.

Treading ever slowly towards her room with an inaudible sigh, he couldn't seem to hold back. He was feeling guilty now, for insisting she take her tea when _he knew _she suffered from nightmares. Still without the drug induced slumbers, he knew she'd hardly rest—not to mention allowing him to leave the house.

No matter how sick Kaoru was, she would always trail behind him if she thought he was in any type of situation warranting her concern, which as it happened, occurred quite frequently in the beginning of his stay with her.

Though, sooner or later Kaoru would catch on to the sleeping pattern the tea induced and nothing he said or tried to prove would ever make her drink it again. But until then he hoped to make the most of the time, there were only so many hours in the day he could use to follow a lead where he felt safe enough to leave her in the care of some else.

And while Kaoru wouldn't appreciate the idea of being watched constantly like a child he had little choice in the matter. Her safety was well above her feelings until she was healed and _that_ the doctor had assured him wouldn't be for some time.

After tonight though, after all the hints Uramura had unknowingly handed him, he had a better chance of finding the men responsible for scaring Kaoru; though how they ever managed to get away in the first place, remained a mystery. _No one_ other than a _true_ samurai, someone with an incredibly high ki, could have taken such a blow to the head and still stood—and though those men had been anything but conscious when he'd walked awake with Kaoru in his arms.

Someone had come along and helped them. The same way they'd helped Yamato and his crew from their cell in the station. Though how this all tied into Saitou being back here again, is what he still had yet to figure out. There was something else he was missing, he knew, something else he just couldn't figure out but what that was remained elusive.

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There was slight noise in the background, hushed voices that seemed to escalated with intensity as she opened her eyes, blinking back sleep as a slow wayward yawn, escaped her dry lips. It felt like she'd been asleep forever. All the muscles along her back and ribs, protested as she sat up, dark waves of black falling across her face as she took a look around. Wondering where Kenshin was when a shadow stepped into her line of sight.

"Kaoru-dono," he whispered, silently bending down to her level as another shadow fell across the door.

"Kaoru-chan, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked, coming into the room as Kenshin sent him some sort of look Kaoru was unable to decipher.

"I'm fine," she responded, "Just a little sore I guess. How long have I been asleep," she asked, unable to help the yawn making it way across her face. "Gomen," she apologized, blinking at the two bleary figures watching her with concern.

"I think you've slept enough Kaoru. You need a long bath and supper before you can sleep again." The doctor explained, moving around Kenshin to help her stand.

"Why don't you ready her bath Kenshin, I'll help her along."

"Sessha," he told the doctor, "Would rather she rest a little longer."

"Her muscles can't take much more rest." The doctor stressed, looking like he'd already had this conversation with him once before. "She needs to eat."

"What's going?" She murmured, looking from Kenshin to the doctor who'd locked gazes.

"Nothing," Kenshin replied, demeanor changing as he regarded her. "Sessha will go heat up your bath, Kaoru-dono. And we'll see how you feel after that." He told her, smiling a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes before exiting the room—leaving Kaoru to wonder why he seemed upset.

"Kaoru-chan?"

"Hmm?" She answered, shaking her head slightly before she faced the doctor. "What were you guys discussing before?" She asked, taking hold of the arm being offered her as they made their way to the bath house.

"It's . . . Kenshin just being Kenshin I guess," the doctor cryptically replied, shrugging his shoulders as Kaoru turned to look at him. "He didn't want anyone waking you up." He continued, frowning as they turned a corner. "He seems to think you'll heal faster that way but that isn't how this works."

"So . . . He's mad because I woke up?"

"Yes and no," the doctor sighed. "There's a lot going on right now he doesn't want to share. He's just concerned, I suppose and that's just hard for him to express."

"What's he so concerned about?"

"Kaoru," the doctor warned, a chiding in itself as he left out the caring honorific, he'd used since she was a child.

"What?" She huffed. "Can't I be concerned?"

"You'll only get yourself into trouble Kaoru-chan, now come on. I'll help you into the bath and then all I'll head off into the kitchen. Make sure that rurouni of yours' feeds you before coaxing that tea down your throat."

"Is that what's making me so sleepy?"

"Aa," he replied, moving the bathhouse shoji aside to let her in. "I told you that when I prescribed it to you, remember?"

"Sort of," she trailed off, watching the doctor as he checked the water temperature before turning around to face her. "I think I can do the rest myself." She informed him, watching him as a bit of color blossomed against his cheeks before he sighed.

"I forget how grown up you are sometimes," he replied, smiling gently at her in turn before closing the door behind him as he left.

As Kaoru stood there, breathing in the therapeutic smells of salts, wood and fire, heating her water. Ever slowly as she began to undress, the doctor's voice begin to rise again, growing near as Kaoru unconsciously neared the bathhouse wall, ear pressed against it as the rest of her body sank deep into the water the furo had heated so nicely.

Some of his words were becoming garbled with the distance but grew louder again as if the doctor came out of the kitchen and into the yard, arguing with Kenshin she assumed over what they'd been discussing earlier.

'_No_,' she heard him say, voice becoming agitated at something Kenshin said.

'_She will **not** follow you if you tell her ahead of time where you're going_.' The doctor snapped.

'_I'm not going to lie for you Kenshin_.'

'_No_,' the doctor replied, voice becoming distant again as the echo of his walking drew away.

But either way, she didn't like what she had heard. _Kenshin was leaving_. Though for how long, she hadn't been able to decipher from what they'd said. One thing she was certain of however was that they were both obviously upset. She just didn't understand what could make two usually peaceful men begin an argument that would cause them each to raise their voice.

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It's true she didn't feel well. She was still a bit confused and not to mention worried over half of what she'd heard. But trying to bring up a topic had never seemed as impossible as when they were all pretending everything was fine. Kenshin no baka. She was sure he was behind it all. Knowing him, he'd probably made everyone of them swear not to tell her anything. He was just that . . . Baka; she silently fumed, watching him through narrowed eyes as he brought out the main meal, carefully setting it down in the center before handing out everybody's share.

But as long as she didn't drink the tea, she thought, everything would be all right.

Even so, she cast her food a suspicious glance, dark eyes narrowed as Kenshin watched her look around, gaze ever thoughtful as it swept over every plate around her before taking a very small bite.

"Kaoru-dono . . . Are you all right?"

_Oh, I'm just fine_, she thought, glaring angrily as he began to frown. _Don't think I'm not on to you_, her mind whispered, gaze never wavering as she gazed at him, watching his concern turn into something like displeasure before he turned away. Gaze anywhere but on her again as she continued to watch him.

"Hey busu, are you going to eat or what?"

Yahiko no baka—"Of course I will," she murmured, ripping his bowl out of his hand. "_Here_, you can have mine," she said, as he scrambled to catch the fuller bowl. "I wouldn't have finished it on my own. Better you take I think." She reasoned, cutting Kenshin's protest in half as he sat back, dark eyes narrowed at Dr. Genzai who only frowned, brown eyes watchful of his meal and everyone else's before stopping on Kenshin's bowl.

"You're not having any meat?" The doctor asked, as Kaoru shot him a troubled look mouth full of meat she'd already twice swallowed. Kenshin looked up. Eyes a hard purple, she couldn't quite will herself to trust.

"Sessha has not been feeling well." He admitted, eyes never wavering from the doctor's. "It might be easier to fall asleep, sessha thought; if it was a lighter meal."

"But why so early?" Yahiko asked, earning a fleeting narrowed look from Kenshin, Kaoru couldn't have possibly missed.

"Sessha needs to rest," he murmured, expression veiled behind his bangs as he looked down again, chopsticks full of rice that didn't quite seem to make it all into his mouth.

As she watched him suddenly yawn, a light _gomen_, falling off his lips, Kaoru found herself unable to ask him what he'd been arguing about with the doctor. Eyes a little concerned as he looked about to tip over.

"If you'll excuse sessha," he murmured, rising almost slowly from his spot. "Sessha will go to bed. There's a lot to do tomorrow and sessha needs the early start."

A soft rurouni smile and everyone around him bid him good-night. As Kaoru watched him, narrowed purple eyes casting a final glance at her, she began to open her mouth, wondering what the look was about when she noticed Yahiko beginning to eat her food again.

"Stop it _you_."

"What, there's no Kenshin here now."

"Dr Genzai," she appealed, watching him smile at her before he turned a stern word to Yahiko.

"She's still sick Yahiko. Now stop it before she screams for Kenshin. Tired or not, you know he will come out here." He reasoned, doing enough to make Kaoru stick out her tongue at a properly abashed boy—continuing to eat distractedly when Ayame almost fell over her bowl. "Oh," she whispered, beginning to rise when the doctor halted her. "Finish your meal Kaoru-chan. Me and Yahiko can put the girls to bed. They've been up for hours today without a chance to nap. I'm surprised they lasted this long." He murmured, handing Ayame to Yahiko just as he shoved in a few more pieces of meat into his mouth.

"Don't eat my food," he warned as he and the doctor disappeared around the corner. Kaoru yawned, Yahiko no back. What the hell did ever do around here anyways, she thought. Rubbing tiredly at her eyes as she tried to focus on her meal, wondering at the same time why Kenshin had been acting so weird. He had never, ever left the table without at least offering her something to drink before; for him to have just gotten up like that, made no sense to her whatsoever.

Even when he had asked to go to bed early, he hadn't said good night to her at all, she thought, yawning once more as the bowl fell out of her hands. She hadn't realized she was so sleepy. The doctor had said she was still sick and with all her bruises, she recalled, she really should go to bed, she thought, as she rose off her spot, wavering ever so much to the right, Kaoru put out her hand. Wondering why she'd insisted on staying at the table so long when she knew she needed to rest. _She_ _should have listened to Kenshin_, she thought as she made it to her room. The thought of Kenshin lingered, trying to remember why she'd been so concerned . . . When the doctor said . . .

Kaoru yawned, beginning to slump against her shoji when warmth and the smell of fresh air suddenly encompassed her, brining her closer to soft skin and a dark gi as she was carried to her room; trapped beneath soft blankets that encased her inside a small cocoon.

The whisper of someone's voice gliding softly against her face, disappeared with a slight echo of callused hands, brushed against her bangs as the murmur of something else . . . Echoed a bitter farewell.

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In the dark, from where he stood, Kenshin could see the shadows of people moving in and out of the police station like shades of color against a poor lit pallet. The messenger he had sent more half an hour ago, to fetch him Saitou had yet to come out.

If anything, it was simply done to piss him off, he thought. As if he had time to spare on games. Kaoru and the others would wake up in a couple of hours and when they found he wasn't home, Kaoru herself would come out looking for him, he thought. Becoming ever more agitated as he finally spotted the messenger he had sent.

"Fugita-sama, gave me this to give to you." The young boy, said, so used to saluting officers, he bid him farewell in the same way.

As Kenshin opened the small piece of paper, feeling Saitou's ki draw away, he quickly, read; _Not here. Go to that idiot's favorite bar and I'll see you there in a half hour_. And for that, Kenshin thought, he'd already wasted just as long.

If he hadn't already searched the forest and come up with nothing but the scent of blood, he wouldn't have even come to seek him out. But there was something he had wanted to tell him and that small burst of aggressive ki he had tossed out into the wind, had done him little good in drawing him back.

He had no choice but to go. Kaoru would forgive, he reasoned, if he came home smelling too much of that place tonight. It was for no other reason than to find out why there had been so many incidents involving her, though if he was a bit more truthful, he would admit that wasn't exactly true. At least not from what he could remember. Though his shishio had always said, _memories aren't always truth_.

And as he more inclined to believe the older man now, he would continue to pursue this as a direct provocation rather than random acts of separate assault. Since the only reason, she was ever _in_ any danger was because they all thought of her as his.

One day, he wished, if he could just forget for one day who he was, that damn rurouni façade would not interfere with his desire to do away with all those lingering shadows trailing behind the rurouni scent.

He shouldn't be getting so worked up over this—now was not the time to delve into those kinds of thoughts. As long as those men, were out free to run around, he could not be in peace. They were the closest to have every really harmed her and because of that, he couldn't let it go. He had to seem dead or behind bars before he dropped it. Really, either one would do, at this point he didn't so much as care anymore. He just wanted them gone.

He wanted Kaoru to feel safe again. And for people on the street to quit whispering when he drew near her. It had never really bothered him before but over the last two weeks or so, they had really gotten nasty. It had gotten to the point, where every where he turned now someone was insinuating something or other of his plans to marry her. As if he could afford really make her his.

Though he wished . . . And often wanted, that wasn't really him, he reasoned, that was that other part of him that should have been securely locked away. Not lying beneath the surface, blooming with every look she sent his way.

It was all Enishi's fault. Maybe if they weren't so close to the anniversary of his Jinchuu; to the day he'd nearly lost her, he'd be more reasonable and not so quick to wish everybody dead, he thought, stopping as he realized he had arrived.

_Toushi's_ like always remained a heavy smoke filled atmosphere that made maneuvering at times, a little more difficult than it ought to be. As he took his seat near the back, his eyes, easily fixed on the door where Saitou should enter from, a drink arrived from the bar.

Yasaburo, which was the elder brother of the two bartenders he seemed to keep on saving from one disaster after another, bowed to him politely before scurrying off. As he took a drink, feeling the bitter taste of metal and copper fill his mouth, he inwardly sighed, hating everything around him as he swallowed down the shot. Kurama Kotetsu, smiling from afar as he drained the little jug, approached him when he was done.

"Battousai," he murmured, eyes filled with mirth as Kenshin tried to focus blue metallic eyes.

"Aren't you supposed to be in jail?"

"No, that's my brother. He died in prison soon after you had him arrested," Kotetsu told him. Mouth curving upwards as Kenshin began to frown.

"What do you want?"

"Simply to do you a favor Battousai, you rid me of my brother and now I'm going to help you rid yourself of someone you hate just as much."

"I - Sessha doesn't hate."

"Sure you do. At first I thought it was that white-haired freak who took your woman but as it turns out, it was someone else entirely. Imagine my surprise," he murmured, winking conspiratorially as the view around Kenshin began to shift.

"What have you done?"

"Nothing but help you out, Battousai. I hated my brother and yet the law protected me as his heir, so I suppose you did me a favor—I'm now going to repay."

"Sessha doesn't need . . . need any of your favors," Kenshin whispered, feeling a slight shudder run through his spine as his body temperature began to rise. "You put something in my drink."

"Nothing bad I assure you. It's like opium but with none of the nasty little side effects."

"What do you want?"

"My-my, you are untrusting. Well, I'm simply here to tell you that friend of yours wont come. I had a bit of a mess created on the other side of town. So he won't be able to join you as you had hoped." He told him, halting mid motion as Kenshin grabbed his wrist.

"This person you think I hate?"

"Oh, he'll be gone by morning, that's been guaranteed," he promised, beginning to draw back when Kenshin tightened his grip.

"Where are you going?"

"Far away, now. I only came here to repay my debt." Kotetsu added, managing to pull away as the world around Kenshin tilted far away, perceptions becoming skewed as he tried to shake his head.

"Wait!" He called, running out into the dark street after Kotetsu only to come face to face with nothing but a vast empty road; the ringing of a bell nearby reminding him of the time as well as a sudden need to get home.

Kaoru was going to kill him, he thought, as he ran down the street, trying to remember how long he had spend in the bar, the worry of everything else vanished like a cloud of smoke. Senses reeling off of whatever drug Kotetsu had intentionally slipped him; were far too slow in registering the faintest trace of Jasmine coming across his path. But the shadow of movement could never escape his sight.

As Kenshin stopped, the feeling of a strong ki vibrating with familiar strangeness, the first sounds of a blade being unsheathed ran along his senses. Moving his head just in the nick of time as the blade swept past his face, cutting across the air with such swiftness, Kenshin tilted his head. Mind distantly surprised as it began to rain, the blade of his opponent being automatically drawn back by chains he felt eerily reminiscent of another time.

_'A Shinsen-gumi_? No, someone from the shadows similar to myself,_'_ he thought watching him across the small distance separating them. As the other straightened, long black hair high up on a pony tail, trailing down his shoulders as the rain around them became a pour. Kenshin's eyes ran across the man's onmitsu garb, which as it was supposed to do, hid everything but the man's eyes, the white of his hands, protected by strong arm guards matching the set low on his legs.

It was a moment of flash backs and confusion and hatred for a man he wished dead more than any other before the echoes of all the cleared, moving with silent motion towards his opponent who moved as eerily as the hand of fate. Long chained blades uncoiling as the first of them was sent too short to reach him, Kenshin speed serving his advantage as the man's blade swept across his face too far again to touch him but not enough away to trap him he realized, as the chain coiled around his arms, binding him from further movement as the shadowed figure jumped a safe distance away and to a nearby rooftop—the shadow of a woman distantly approached.

White robes socked through and through as she ran down the road, dark waves of black matted against her back and cheeks as she moved towards them hurriedly, hand over her chest as she called for someone through the rain. The echoes of her voice, dying in the distant roar of thunder that followed a blinding flash of light, illuminating her face a pale shade of fear as she noticed their rigid stance, weapons unsheathed and in hand as she stopped some feet away.

So much like before Kenshin tossed his blade away instinctively, catching it with his left as the other jumped off the roof, long chain uncoiling as he sent it out handle first, hitting her directly on the side of the head before she even understood. Kenshin had cut himself free, a wash of dark anger, suffusing his emotions as he ran to her side, feeling the dull end of a blade catch him in the back with so much force, he tumbled to the ground. Awash in crimson, as he stood, perceptions ever twisting came to a standstill as he forced himself to stay afoot. Even as the world around him twisted and a deep searing pain cut across the back of his skull, he knew any hesitation on his behalf would kill them both.

Knowing so fueled his anger and in doing that, left himself vulnerable as he attacked because no matter how well he deflected, his heart could still be ripped apart, if the shadow figure grew tired of missing its mark. He would kill her. And it was this reason and this one alone, why Kenshin allowed himself to be caught, bound in the same position she'd found them, as he readied his attack. Eyes changing between shades settled on frozen gold as the other man drew near, twisting his chains around him until he felt he couldn't breathed anymore—Kenshin closed his eyes, twisting the blade in his hand as the other hitokiri hurled himself above him—cutting across cloth and skin and bone alike, as the speed and strength of his attack cut the other man in half, splashing the world around him in a rain of blood, as he fell to his knees, trying to catch his breath as the sight of Kaoru watching him, finally registered along his senses.

Eyes full of tears, brimmed as she watched him, blinking rapidly as he began to stand, "You can't leave me now." She told him, "I _know_ who you are."

And as his sword clattered to the ground, the wheel of destiny turning Battousai's life one more time around, she _refused_ to let him go.

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Well we've finally come to the end and if you're anything like me, you're reading this with the ova playing in the background. Moved by the music and tragedy which will begin their tale. You all know this is a two part'er right. The rest of the story is continued in the **_Sounds of Yesterday_**, which sets the story four years since that day, when the hitokiri emerged and was forced to kill again.

What do you think, was it good? Took me like twenty eight pages you know and for a while, I feared a chapter eleven having to be added, but it didn't turn out to be so, I'm glad. My wrist couldn't have taken much more. Anyways, there will author notes as well small notes, to walk the end with you, ok. So let's just move with it.

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A/N: I think it should be kind of obvious, we start exactly from were we left off. That is on the eighth day, counting down to Enishi's Jinchuu. The medicine they make her take knocks her out for two, so from where it say: _Staying calm, in the face of her nightmares however proved much more difficult than he'd thought_—approximately eight pages down, is a NEW day; the tenth day to be exact as well as the anniversary to Enishi's Jinchuu.

There is a reason, for my doubling the rk ova at the end but that won't become clear until the next story. Sorry.

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Small Notes: are necessary I guess. But it will be limited info let me say, since a lot of what you're wondering about will come out in the next few chapters of the Sounds of Yesterday, all right? Good.

Now since the attack, more or less, the balance between who he was and who he is has become more than razor thin. He shifts between personalities and mood like he shifts between eye color.

'She was attacked,' he revealed, _because of him_. Shows the long ingrained mantra the rurouni has learned so well. It's often true of course, but never the less the tell tale signs of guilt and powerless, characterizing the rurouni personality. Given enough time, it seems like he can almost revert back to the rurouni we all know. And yet, the way he moves or sometimes speaks, indicates a touch of strangeness on his behavior you just can't quite bring yourself to ignore. Is he or isn't he, you wonder as he leads the doctor to her room.

He is protective, beyond the boundaries the rurouni has clearly drawn and yet, when she needs him, despite his behavior or lack of sleep, despite not eating and constantly being haunted by dark haunting dreams, when she needs--Kenshin can pull the mask of her rurouni down with practiced ease, lowering the natural register of his voice to something soft and familiar. Telling her he won't be far, so she won't be afraid. Coaxing her slowly into getting checked out by the family doctor, just in case, she wasn't all that forthcoming earlier in the day.

The way he's behaving; its no wonder Kaoru won't reveal the extend of her bruises. However naïve or ignorant she has seemed up to this point, there's a small, unconscious part of her picking up on the signals, he can't veil—worrying herself into a little stress ball until the doctor comes and helps. His choice of words and easy going attitude put her more at ease as he prescribes her not just pain medication but a way to rest.

It's this rest, however, that later becomes a problem. When Kenshin's need for the hours in between her sleeping and dreaming, become a necessity he can't afford to loose. Not while investigating her attack and the sudden disappearance of the men who attacked her.

Saitou is of no help. But Uramura, his presence specifically at a particular crime scene, leads Kenshin to search the forest. But since Saitou's had all the bodies moved, there is little there for him to find. Too many people have walked around the clearing for him to find tracks, and with the shadowed figure's carefully honed skill at killing people without drawing large amounts of blood, it's very easy to put of the trail.

When he gets home, head full of thoughts and concern over what he couldn't confirm. He finds Tae already waiting for him inside, bearing bad news as she recounts the Mibu's visit. Hinting at other things Kenshin picks up on from her description of Saitou's behavior before he'd left, bidding him farewell not too shortly after. Leaves Kenshin all alone, cautiously doing a circuit of the house before locking himself inside, conclusions only half way reached as he enters her room, knowing, despite all the missing clues, that there is someone helping these men out, how far or to what extend--is easily concluded from the last chapter, where glimpses of this shadow-figure, show him to assist them _only _as far as drawing them away. Luring them to the forest where they all seem to meet their end. Of this, it seems, only Saitou can be sure of, since in all his digging up and trailing the arsonist's from Yokohama, he's found out a few other interesting little bits.

Dr. Genzai's visit and opposition to Kenshin's hope in keeping her asleep a while longer, escalate outside her room, waking Kaoru up, as their voices raises. It's Kenshin's ability to sense people however, which causes him, to immediately abandon the fight and scamper off to her side. Eyes full of concern as he _tries _to suggest she get a little more rest. Dr. Genzai however, having followed him inside, quickly cuts off any off that, helping Kaoru stand as he ushers her to her bath, sending Kenshin away, with a few words Kaoru at the time, finds only curious.

It's once the doctor has already left her to take her bath however that things become a bit more complicated. Their (Kenshin's and Dr. Genzai's) argument seems to continue as the doctor goes into the yard. As Kenshin continues to whisper his insistences, pushing that she remain asleep awhile longer, the doctor's voice begins to rise. And from what Kaoru hears, it doesn't sound so good, for the idiot rurouni. As she takes her bath, minding running over and over, the little bit she heard; she, of course, gets angry.

When dinner arrives, she's mad enough to beat him, not to mention highly suspicious of everything he does, watching him with narrowed eyes until she catches his eye. Him and his fake concern, she thinks, becoming ever madder; its no wonder, Kenshin becomes confused. Though that seems fleeting as well, as she becomes angry, her ki spikes and from the way she continues to stare at him, Kenshin she has to know . . . something. And whether purposely or not, it was the doctors fault she now knew.

But Kenshin isn't anything if not prepared. Everything he had cooked had been washed through with her medicine; knocking out everybody who ate, including his little Kaoru, who he later finds outside her room, eyes beginning to drift close as he picks her up and gently sets her on her futon. Whispering words she can't hear until he whispers _farewell_.

Leaving the dojo grounds, only to come back to where he'd started; the police station, where Saitou momentarily resides. And since he knows, beyond a doubt, that Saitou has somehow come across the answer he needs to know, he sends him messenger to go and fetch him.

It's not so much a surprise, when the messenger returns without him, baring only a note that requests they meet else where. Though why, remains unknown. It is coincidental, it seems that he is asked to return to the bar, he has frequented in the last ten days.

As he takes his seat, eyes fixed on the door where Saitou will enter from, a drink arrives for him. It's Yasaburo who serves him (And since he's saved his life more than once, Kenshin doesn't really stop to think about why the man is giving him a drink. It is characterized behavior for both brothers to serve him as soon as he comes in . . .) so, he drinks. Feeling the bitter taste of his guilt and blood tainted life as he swallows the first shot; drinking one, after the other, until he finishes the jug. Only distantly aware of Kurama, smiling in the background, until he approached.

It is not coincidental Kurama took his time, waiting for him to drain every last drop, before calling him out gently. Knowing that whatever he had given him will only make him slow, temporarily. The thought of this, doesn't get a chance to form for Kenshin however as Kotetsu Kurama, as he reveals himself to be, is the youngest brother of the man Kenshin had stopped from robbing the bar (As was previously mention, in chapter six).

He has come to thank Kenshin, he tells him, revealing a passing hatred for his brother as he reveals he has come only to repay his debt to him before leaving once more. But in Kenshin's state, it's hard from him to control his thoughts. His perception like eye change with his mood and in his conversation with the other man, more and more of who he had once been is revealed; as Kotetsu smiles, indulging Kenshin's delusion of hatred towards others. He reveals a great knowledge of Kenshin's past, telling him he had thought, that if he was going to hate anyone, he would have surely have betted on Enishi being the guy.

And the interpretation of that comes down to symbolism. Who, has he revealed, has he wished to be rid of all along. Who has it been impeding him from attainting the life he wants, if not consciously, then like he often does when he's asleep as it was first mention when the story began; _the echoes, steal beneath my guard, placating all fears and suspicions while they **themselves**, distort my dreams_. And in that moment, he does wish be rid of someone else . . .

His drug encumbered thoughts however, never get that far. As Kotetsu takes advantage of a momentary dizziness overcoming him, he runs away, leading Kenshin outside where the watchman's bell, tolls _one o'clock_. Reminding Kenshin once more of the need to get home.

As he runs away, forgetting everything but the need to get home, his mind hastily adds one; Kaoru would surely kill him before hastening his pace, unintentionally ignoring certain warning signs around him (including the scent of Jasmine) until a strong ki comes across his path. And strangely enough, it feels familiar he thinks, in the way he might have sensed it ( remember ch. five) sometime in his life.

The sound of someone unsheathing their sword, rolls along his senses, with enough time fore him to move away from the on coming blow, watching wearily as his opponent's swords prove connected to him by chains. Eerily reminiscent of another pair and another time, his first thoughts, as he looks at the man are flash backs; as he ponders whether the man is a Shinsen-gumi or someone else. Someone more like himself . . . Kenshin thinks. Mind set in the past, as he looks over the man's garbs.

Confused by feelings and thoughts, only momentarily, before pushing it aside, moving in silent motion as he met his attacker head on, dogging his blade in a display of liquid-smooth movements uncommon for the rurouni than for the man he had once been forced to become.

And still, it was not enough, he was tangled in the man's chain, arms constricted by heavy steel as it began to rain. Both parties, calculation their chance of survival as the rain turned heavier and it began to pour, making their visibility a lot harder than before but even then, they saw the shadow of woman approach.

Still too distant too see her face, but she was in a hurry they could see, by the way she ran and held her hands, she was in an awful hurry to be somewhere . . . So late at night and beneath the rain . . . Dressed . . . in white-white robes . . . Pushed at Kenshin's thoughts until he couldn't help but think, _it was all so much like before_. Unable to hear her cry beneath the roar of thunder pulsing through the ground but her face, as lightened broke over the sky, he could see her face as she came to a stop.

So much like before, he glided through remembered movements and motions, switching the blade from one to the other and cutting himself loose, too late he realized, as he caught sight of his opponents blade, already in the air and hitting its mark. As she fell to the ground, Kenshin ran to her side, careless for less then a second; as his back was turned, the shadow-figure threw out his blade, hilted end first, with such _might _and precision, he knocked Kenshin clean to the ground.

It was sheer will alone, which allowed Kenshin to stand again, as blood oozed from the long gash on the side of his skull, eye changing between hues gazing at his attacker. Kenshin knew, if he hesitated again, even once more, they were dead. Knowing it didn't make it any easier, it only made him that much angrier because like all the enemies from his past, this one too would use what he could to his advantage. _He would kill her_. He would kill her and never think twice of what he'd done he thought, reading his attack as his eyes settled on a cold shade of gold, leaving himself open as he moved through familiar motions before allowing himself to get caught.

As the air lessened from his lungs, lack of sleep and now blood, marring half his eyes; the other man jumped off the roof intent on striking Kenshin down full force as he twisted the chains around him, giving him little choice but to act in self defense. Eyes closed, beneath a wash of pain and anger, coiling around his gut—as he raised his sword, god like speed and hitokiri strength fueling his movements, he cut the other man dead. Falling to his knees, with rasping sounds as he tried to catch his breath, warm rain like blood falling all around him as he realized Kaoru had watched him. Like only _once _ever before, as he began to stand—

"You can't leave me now," she told him. "I _know _who you are."

And what could he do, when the hand of fate had _interfered _once again . . . For better or worse . . . The blade clattered from his hand, as eyes like gold bore into her weeping gaze . . . Battousai exhaled anew.

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Thanks for reading everyone. Please, don't forget to review, all right. Ja.


	11. Blood Still Splashes

To be continued

in

_**The Sounds of Yesterday.**_


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